I'm new here, I've got problems, and I'm uncomfortable. Everyone keeps talking about 90 days while for me going a full clean week would be a milestone. It's a little discouraging. a little chizuk?

who's talking 90 days?
forget about it
we work on just ONE DAY AT A TIME
only today, tomorrow its again only today, and so on...
if you break the job into manageablee segments, you can easily do it
try it, hashem is with you, all you need to do is, start that truck engine, & shift the gear into DRIVE

thank you. It feels good to talk to a real person without all the embarassment. 

The idea of 90 days is that is how long it takes to kick a habit. When in the dirt it is hard to think so far ahead. Often this train of thought is what gives the YH the edge and causes one to fall. He says "you are not going 90 days! Why not just give in now and save yourself much agony".

The way you need to think about it now is one day and one step at a time. People on this site that have been clean for years swear by this approach.

Additionally the 12 step program and even getting a sponsor really helps.

You have a nice user name. You are headed in the right direction!

ninety

a godol dosent learn the whole torah at once, he learns one mishneh at a time, then just one more, etc...
so futuregodol is a perfect name

Thank you guys. Just the fact that knowing people care helps a lot.

We care. and WELCOME!  Caring for one another is a prerequisite for being here.

bruchim haboim. welcome to our group of uncontrolable people who are living better then when they thought they were in control.So for me as long as you see yourself as not incontrol you have hope.

WELCOME Gadol:

E/O is absolutely correct. Just focus on the here and the now and the moment, not tomorrow or the next day.  1 of the best things about this sight is that you have who to talk to and relate to and join together with to fight this war.  No matter how rough things may get, the chevra here are great shoulders to lien on and give awesome support.  Keep it up.  And remember, HKB"H loves when we fight this war. Some battles are inevitably lost. But we need to pick up, dust ourselves off, and plow ahead.  ONE Instant at a time. By Hashem, each and every victory, is 100% success.
Chasdei       

Welcome Future Gadol !

Yes, there are real people here.  With real lives, real struggles, real stories.  Real Jews! (plus a small eyrev rav)

When you're up to it, jump in with your story.  Where are you holding?  Whats your plan?

Aint no one gonna stop this convoy!

Alex

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

mechazek wrote on 29 Aug 2011 17:11:

;D ;D ;D This is just hilarious. I have never heard a better way of describing our group here.

futuregadol wrote on 28 Aug 2011 19:03:


Everyone comes here feeling like that. "90 days? impossible!"

Very soon, you'll discover you can do a lot more than you imagined. Just stay here and you'll be better in no time. well...90 days