those who read my previous posts know that i am working towards achieving a true clean life, clean from everything & to be able to do whats right in Hashem's eyes.

today i started the day with the moto that no matter what 'today i am going to keep strong' , so here i am trying to finish my day without looking on woman on the street, not going on the internet without a filter, but since i usually go to sleep late i am scared that i wont actually be able to finish my day 'clean' .

i hope by posting here that i will somehow get the courage and support to actually finish my first clean day.

thanks

(still only wanna be a ) Tzadikel.

You ARE a tzaddik (just like the original "Yossele") every instant that you exercize self-control. That is the Middah of Yosef, the Midda of Yesod.

Just try to keep busy until bedtime.

Hang in there and Keep On Trucking

Gevura!

Hang in there :D

so today i got up with a great feeling, a feeling of liberation, feeling of being in control of myself again, i know that it is very early to celebrate and that it will get much harder before it gets better, but yesterday was my first day that i was clean with your program, and i didn finish it with a high note, although my night ended around 3 am, with pretty much upsetting circumstances, but thanks to Hasehm i held myself together and here i am trying to move along to day #2,

be well all of you guys.

( i think that i am still only a 'wanna be') Tzadikel

WOOT!!!!

Keep on Truckin!!!!

Good to hear of your successful day.
And if you did it once, you can do it again. Today.
One day at a time.
Call out to Hashem frequently for help.  He wants to help.  All you need to do is ask!
There will be ups and downs, challenging times and breathers.

Here's a secret...The challenges don't last forever, although when you're in it, your Y"H will tell you otherwise.  They pass.  And you pass (the test).  Then you can breathe again until the next round.
May Hashem be with you.
Alex

We are super duper proud of you. Imagine the simcha in shamayim each second that you fight and stay away.  Every second of the fight, the battle, the gevura, equals huge success.  Just reading that you are struggling and made it past day 1, gives me major strength. Thanks for the chizuk and Hatzlacha rabba
Chasdei

Tzadikel Yossele wrote on 24 Aug 2011 14:49:

thanks all for the support,

i have to tell you guys that by the end of the night almost before going to sleep i was ready to slip, but then i was thinking 'what am i going to post tomorrow on GUE ? ' and then i turned the device off and went to sleep.

struggling to get to the 'clean' end zone today/tonight as well, but my real goal in the 'touchdown' by the end of 90 consecutive clean days , THAT'S when i will be able to call myself a little Tzadikel.

be well everybody.

(only a wanna be) Tzadikel.

Have a good night!

hi All Chushiv'eh members of the esteemed GUE !~!

last night around 3:30 i finally got to go to sleep, i was dead tired so i fell asleep instantly, when i woke up this morning i realized that it was actually my SECOND CLEAN DAY !!

it kicked started my day in a very cool manner, i feel upbeat and good about myself, BH.

of course now there will be people that will tell me, 'hey boy, CHILL !!! dont celebrate just yet, you have a long way to go, it gets harder, etc. bla bla bla.
what i wanna tell those people is, I DONT CARE !! you know why ? because i live ONE day a time, and today i AM happy, and i DO feel good about myself,
will it get harder? of course !!
i might fall again one day ? maybe,
isn't it a long way to go for a sinful guy like you? d*mn right it is, but thats why i am here on GUE, to be able to get through those rough moments, not to get tired on the long way, to be able to concur the unanticipated challenges, & to STAY CLEAN!!

have a great day GUE!!

(even after the above i seriously ONLY consider myself a 'wanna be'...) Tzadikel.

TY,
I just though of something so I'm gonna share it right here on your thread.
A side benefit of learning to take recovery one day at a time, is that I have learned to take ALL OF LIFE one day at a time.  How many days have we wasted looking forward to a big event as if today is nothing.  Today is EVERYTHING!  Today is all we ever get, all we ever have to live.  And this really goes for every moment, not just every day.  If only we could keep focused on how precious every moment is, and live in the moment, live in reality.

I think the fantasy worlds we have created for ourselves have dulled some of these skills, and being in recovery is sharpening them back up.

Have another great day!
Alex

Alex,

i must thank you for sharing that amazing thought on my thread, it is SO true, when i was in therapy that was one of the first things that i have learned, it taught / helped me so much in life, i live more easily, in yiddish they cal it 'LIFTIG' , its always breezy on my end, i just let it take anywhere, i just go with the flow.

off topic for a minute, i used to HATE rain, i couldn't stand the getting wet not even a drop, but for some time now when i see that it rains i slow my walking paste and just close my eyes and enjoy the cold breeze on my wet face.... some call it romantic, some call it lunatic, me personally would go with the latter if asked about someone else, hey, i gotta be honest.

back to this wonderful way of living with only TODAY in sight, focusing on the task at hand not the tomorrow or next week, but guys dont get me wrong, just like everything else there are moments that this doesn't work and you get depressed / worried/ anxious about a current or future event in your life which isn't the most fun to be in, but just like everything else you gotta push it out of your mind and try to focus on the positive.

all of you have a 'breezy' day !

maybe we can start saying  "keep on breezing" ....

(a wanna be) Tzadikel.

Yossel,
Have a wonderful Shabbos to finish your life-changing week!
Alex