there is no ten  ;D  ;D

u don't ask questions on the holy barditchiver
he is our rebbe afilu al yemin shehu smohl!

Salachti. My sincere apoligies

Chasdei,
Thanks for the wake-up call !
I'm into my third year of sobriety, B"H without a major slip or fall.
You confirmed what we keep repeating, "once and addict..."
This means that one drink puts us on the hyperspace express back to the old ways.
It's scary.  But we need to remember this.  To be vigilant till our last day.

You will get yourself out of this the same way you did before.  By practicing shmiras eynayim like your life depends on it.  And by crying to Hashem for help when lustful thoughts and ideas come.

And by taking it one day at a time, one nisayon at a time.

May we all learn never to become complacent in our sobriety.  We might feel cured, like "this little bit won't hurt."  But we know better.  It hurts like ____.

Confusion and turmoil are favorite tools of the Y"H.  Fortunately for us, we have a mapped path to get out.  So start with step one and climb!

Alex