It all started when i was 13 or so. The internet was in its infancy and so was my curiosity. I've been tech savvy and even without knowing much about the internet I was able to come across some pretty inappropriate sites. Allow to state that at that age I didn't even contemplate that the Torah views this in a negative light. I'm now in my mid 20's and the rest is a sad history of how this addiction has taken away every good thing and blessing coming my way.
I've been blessed to have discovered the path of Torah and to come closer to Hashem. I have been able to kick this terrible addiction at times - but it always creeps back. I'm so disgusted with myself when I stumble for I know now how grave a sin it is. I really want to stop. I've had filters in the past and though they helped I was still able to find my way around them..
I really want to stop looking and acting on things I know are destroying my life. Thank G-d it happens much less frequently - but I must eliminate i completely from my life. i can literally feel it destroying my soul. i feel that one of the main problems lies in the fact that stimulation is EVERYWHERE. The street, TV, books internet how is one to get away? The alcohol addict need only stay away from any source of beverage, yet the source of lust is all around us! Out of sight out of mind cannot really apply here!

Many on this site have some very sad yet inspiring stories. You guys give me faith that this addiction can be overcome.
I'm happy to have found a place i can share this dark secret. I'm really DETERMINED to kick this addiction and purify my life.

Hi Freemysoul!

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

E. ben Durdayah

welcome and may your soul freed immediately.Please keep on posting your thoughts no matter what they are,we are all listening.

WELCOME!  Your story is all too common unfortunately.  You will find support and unconditional love here.  We are all in this together.  Come grow with us.

Hi Freemysoul -

Welcome to the site. You describing the differences between porn and alcohol and very true. Its similiar to smoking and eating. You can quit smoking cold turkey. But food, you always need; you always get that first sensation that makes you want more.

Thats why we have the 12 step program.

ninety

look, i don't think i have any other addictions [except maybe for attention?]
but i don't think it's any easier for any of "them" than it is for us
but at least we've got the tehillim and the truckers!

You've come to the right place, bruchim haboim!
Here we learn a different attitude and that helps us beat the addiction, since, as you rightly say, it is more than just staying away from the booze.
Hatzlocho