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I just fell :(:(
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TOPIC: I just fell :(:( 308 Views

I just fell :(:( 08 Aug 2011 21:07 #114020

After a good 7 to 8 weeks clean I just fell. I was on my iPhone which I thought I had done a good job of restricting it from bad stuff, but I was able to get onto an app with bad pics and I fell. What do I do know I feel terrible not only for me but especially I feel like I cheated on my kallah.
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Re: I just fell :(:( 08 Aug 2011 21:16 #114021

  • gibbor120
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First thing.  Don't get down on yourself.  Pick yourself up and keep on trucking as they say here.  You must be doing something right to have stayed clean for so long.  You did it once, and you can pick yourself up and do it again, only better.  Hatzlocho Rabba!
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Re: I just fell :(:( 09 Aug 2011 03:15 #114034

  • yaakov123
Its still so crazy for me to see guys just like myself having the same problem I have. I know this might sound weird but reading your post and seeing that you fell, seeing that you care about what you did even though nobody would have known but you and hashem is amazing. I know this isn't advice but I cannot give advice on this topic because I am a failure in this regard. I can go a week two weeks, sometimes 3 and just go right back to my disgusting habits. I hope that the streak I am on now will last but I have no confidence what so ever. I hope and pray for you that you will be able to overcome your desire. I know how hard it is, and sometimes it seems absolutely impossible but so many people can do it so why can't I and why can't you. Hatzlacha rabbah, I truly hope that you will be able to overcome your tayvuh for innapropriate stuff and I hope I too will be able to overcome it. Thank you for your brave post.
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Re: I just fell :(:( 09 Aug 2011 20:20 #114066

  • AlexEliezer
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Hello again reb Unfang!
Thanks for your honesty in posting about your nisayon.

WebChaver does have an accountability app for iphone.  Personally, I have a dumbphone and plan to keep it until I can no longer get replacement batteries for it.

Are you trying to do this just by willpower, or have you started working the Steps?

To your new beginning,
Alex
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Re: I just fell :(:( 09 Aug 2011 21:04 #114078

  • hubabuba
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I am so sorry about your fall!
I have an iPhone as well. The only thing that will work 100% is if you get the webchaver app and then erase ALL potentially problematic apps (you have to be honest with yourself: does your favorite news app ever host inappropriate pics?). In addition, you must disable installation of apps.
Note: erasing your bad apps is just a matter of inconvenience. You can still access all the websites through the webchaver app.

wishing you all the best,

KH
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Re: I just fell :(:( 09 Aug 2011 21:42 #114086

  • helpfyi
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nayaunfang5748 wrote on 08 Aug 2011 21:07:

I feel like I cheated on my kallah.


have we thought about the fact that we cheated on hashem? or how about cheated on yourself? yes your own neshima! DO it for your self man! don't look back only to see why you fell and to take care of it to make sure it wont happen again. then go fwd and dont be down and go to your chasunah with a big  ;D
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Re: I just fell :(:( 09 Aug 2011 22:33 #114087

  • Back on Track
Yup. Do it for yourself. Its the only way. Ain chavush matir es atzmo- you can't free yourself... But when you work with others and your higher power to get free.... Its gotta be for numero uno. Nobody else. (You and G-d actually, or your relationship with Him).
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Re: I just fell :(:( 10 Aug 2011 10:03 #114122

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Back on Track wrote on 09 Aug 2011 22:33:

Yup. Do it for yourself. Its the only way. Ain chavush matir es atzmo- you can't free yourself... But when you work with others and your higher power to get free.... Its gotta be for numero uno. Nobody else. (You and G-d actually, or your relationship with Him).


Why does it have to be for yourself? It helps me sometimes to think of my relationship with others in order to save myself from sin. Especially my future relationship with my wife.
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Re: I just fell :(:( 10 Aug 2011 13:03 #114132

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kidushashem wrote on 10 Aug 2011 10:03:

Back on Track wrote on 09 Aug 2011 22:33:

Yup. Do it for yourself. Its the only way. Ain chavush matir es atzmo- you can't free yourself... But when you work with others and your higher power to get free.... Its gotta be for numero uno. Nobody else. (You and G-d actually, or your relationship with Him).


Why does it have to be for yourself? It helps me sometimes to think of my relationship with others in order to save myself from sin. Especially my future relationship with my wife.


For your own helagger neshimah my dear friend, yes you should do it for others too but yourself is just if not more important. Your neshmiah is being affected by this and its he who will have to face the heavenly court to answer and its your neshmima's share in the world to come that's at steak....so yes do it for your self.
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Re: I just fell :(:( 10 Aug 2011 14:27 #114138

  • bardichev
i phones are very fall-a-cious

dump the i phone

no one NEEDS an  i phone

yeah i know it has an appto tell u what time zmaan soif achilas chamets is on the moon
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Re: I just fell :(:( 10 Aug 2011 14:59 #114140

  • hubabuba
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Helpfyi wrote on 10 Aug 2011 13:03:

kidushashem wrote on 10 Aug 2011 10:03:

Back on Track wrote on 09 Aug 2011 22:33:

Yup. Do it for yourself. Its the only way. Ain chavush matir es atzmo- you can't free yourself... But when you work with others and your higher power to get free.... Its gotta be for numero uno. Nobody else. (You and G-d actually, or your relationship with Him).


Why does it have to be for yourself? It helps me sometimes to think of my relationship with others in order to save myself from sin. Especially my future relationship with my wife.


For your own helagger neshimah my dear friend, yes you should do it for others too but yourself is just if not more important. Your neshmiah is being affected by this and its he who will have to face the heavenly court to answer and its your neshmima's share in the world to come that's at steak....so yes do it for your self.

Shkoy!
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Re: I just fell :(:( 11 Aug 2011 22:38 #114377

  • Back on Track
kidushashem wrote on 10 Aug 2011 14:59:

Helpfyi wrote on 10 Aug 2011 13:03:

kidushashem wrote on 10 Aug 2011 10:03:

Back on Track wrote on 09 Aug 2011 22:33:

Yup. Do it for yourself. Its the only way. Ain chavush matir es atzmo- you can't free yourself... But when you work with others and your higher power to get free.... Its gotta be for numero uno. Nobody else. (You and G-d actually, or your relationship with Him).


Why does it have to be for yourself? It helps me sometimes to think of my relationship with others in order to save myself from sin. Especially my future relationship with my wife.


For your own helagger neshimah my dear friend, yes you should do it for others too but yourself is just if not more important. Your neshmiah is being affected by this and its he who will have to face the heavenly court to answer and its your neshmima's share in the world to come that's at steak....so yes do it for your self.

Shkoy!


im now quoting  quote which was quoting me also, its like the ohr hachozer and ohr rishon yin yang effect.....

Do it for yourself because you will always hae you and do it for Hashem and your relationship. but if thinking about making yourself a better husband i the future helps by all means. i just meant to say for yourself is the ikkar where you will get the most pleasure from it. (and mimailah that will anyways have the best results on everything else as well. including your future shalom bayis. two halves of a whole, but you need to start out with two whole halves. if you only had one third and she has the other half, you both gona suffer. invite me to the cahsuna i do badchanus. i mean usually i dont think of it as such, but others seem to say im quite badchundik.
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Re: I just fell :(:( 11 Aug 2011 23:01 #114383

  • hubabuba
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BOT, thanks for the great clarification.
Bli Neder, when I get engaged, I will post it and if you're willing to come-you're in!

BTW, I just want to let everyone know that I am starting a new accountability group with Knasos.
For some reason that part of the forum is very shvach when it seems to me that it's an amazing tool. Anyone who's interested, please join. I started a new thread in that section.
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