I kind of had a similar situation at work, this was about 3 years ago, but because of it I got to the point where I am now:
I had a huge crush on one of my non Jewish co-workers. The first time I saw her, which was the day she came in for interview, I was immediately attracted to her. She was hired & I decided that it would be best if I stayed away from her as much as possible. I work in a small office & eventfully we were a signed to work on the same project. After working for short while together, I developed a very huge crushed on her. At first she was showing signs that she liked me also, which made it even harder. In the past when I developed crushes it would last a week or two & then would go away, but this time the crush did not end after a couple weeks. I know that the right answer is to forget about her, but I was having thoughts about giving it try, hoping that she might convert. Then, at times I started to have to doubts about Judaism and thinking maybe I should close my eyes on it and just try to win over my crush. This made me uncertain about what I want to do. At first my crush showed signs that she liked me, but after while she generally would stonewall me, but then at times she would be nice to me. (Looking back she was probably emotionally unstable). This made me very upset & even more confused. Also during this time I was diagnosed with sleeping disorder, because of it I was tired all the time, this did help either.
Many of my friends were getting married / moving out of the area where I live at this time. I have shy / reserve personality this made it kind of hard to find new ones. I felt very lonely since I could not really talk about it with anyone. At this time I started to go out for shidduchim & I could not meet anyone even close to the way was attracted to my crush. The few attractive prospects that I was offered my shuddchanim did not want to go out with me. At this very time my porn addiction got out of hand, unfortunately I did not know that his site existed. In the end my crush left to go to grad school, it took about a year and a half after she left, for my fuzzy feelings to go away, but porn & masturbation addiction unfortunately still here.
Right now, thanks HaShem, we do not have anyone attractive working at the office. In fact recently our secretary had left & we had two candidates for the job: middle aged unattractive woman & above average looking girl. My boss asking me which one I thought would be better fit & even without thinking I said middle aged unattractive woman. Afterwards I kind felt bad that I am discriminating against decent looking girl, but I just could not go through another lady drama situation.
