b" sd
1 it was a calm day onthe eye watching front . not tooo many tests but what i had- BH' the eyelids are fully functional .
2 listening was a little hard but bh'  i didn;t give in , thanks to the forum .
3  had a wonderful chassidisheh shabbos full of chizuk and hisoirirus . 'dveykus and emunah . so i'll count that for mussar .
4 trusted in H' that he knows better than i do whats good for me . i wanted to learn .my wife wasn't well and asked for help right as i was about to leave for shul. ."is that ok ? "she asked  . "of course it's ok ". if that's the way it worked out, that you would find me right about to learn and ask me for help . and had i been a second faster  you would've missed  me totally . it means that's what i need to do now .H' knows what i need to do .         

Wow!

That's fantastic, on so many levels!

Keep on rocking!

LV from your posts its so obvious that your going so far. Keep on rollin' bro.

whoah! no time......
1 eyes- a few small slips but BH' caught in time . 
2 ears-  fantastic  . i heard bruce wayne is having a problem in this area . i would probably die . i totally understand . there is absolutely no way i could stay there even one night . w/ out messing up. but then back then  as a single  guy i would've loved it . i would've wallowed in the taivah w/ pleasure . good luck to him. i don't think positive thinking can help that matsav.
3 - working in bitachon . had a very high pressure meeting yesterday  but i dovened  hard that H' knows what s best for me . and he guides me where to go no matter what .i can't control others or what they think . i accepted the case as is . and H' made it much easier for me . the person really came closer  to understanding me . which i think was total SD' and its good for a "hug " !so make believe its there.  :-\

ok.
still alive . made it thru . that wave of a trigger. BH' feeling better now but still not 100% (if i ever will be . )
avoidah .
1- eyes doin' great Bh' stayed clean today  . getting used to not looking .
2-  ears still keeping clean Bh' . spoke to my wife about bruce Waynes nisayon ,that i would never be able to survive .she told me that she thinks any healthy young man or woman would be bothered by that and have trouble from it . that made me feel better in a way . that its not just cuz i'm crazy and that she said it.
3- missed mussar today will try to catch it up tonite BEZH" .
4- trusted in H' to help me succeed in my job and still have time to learn and be the jew he wanted me to be even if it means i don't learn as much as i want.     

As long as were working on this inyan we are doing what hashem wants!!!!

1- eyes were great yesterday .
2- listening is good too , had a nisayon for the first time in a while alst nite ,and said no. ithink i only had the strngth to do that on the ride of my strong  avoidah till now i don't want to mess it up  .
3- good mussar , trust means being relaxed  . it means being at peace and at ease through your faith in H' that he will do everything you need . it must lead to a feeling . that is the essence . its not a thought its a feeling . i am working on  that feeling .
4- have been trusting in H' to help me be the yid he wants me to be thru, (or in spite of ) my life ang job . 

Thanks for sharing LV. I learn something from you everyday.

feeling really weak these days . not sure why , done nothing wrong but wish i could and i don't like that . got to get back to H' .
i actually feel better when i don't have any sort of sex at all , i never thuought i would say that .
1- eyes OK.
2- ears  OK but the nisayon was there last nite . beat it BH'
3- mussar great .
4- trusted in H'  yestreday that  whatever matsav my family is in  when ui walk thru the door , is exactly what  H'  wants from me and every  problem of every kid  is  H' direct gift to me to make me great . i think it worked but i forgot that i  said it after i got into my house . :o :-\ : ;D 

it gets hard to remember anything with all the noise, right?  :D

You're incredible, as always!

Maybe your slight thoughts are there for that exact purpose - to remind you to keep getting closer to hashem.

I envy and respect you.

LV your really doing great!!! Good Shabbos. Have a peaceful and restfull Shabbos.

had a small slip with the eyes over shabbos . no biggy but it was a triple take which i shouldn't be doing.
all else is good. 

1- eyes were good today .  BH' actually went on the bus w/out even a first look.
2- ears test is getting harder for me . but i am still holding strong . BH' keeping up the connection.
3- mussar is still going . bitachon is a real deep and difficult thing to do truly . we need a lot of time to think and practice it .  the chovos halevovos is pretty straight with what you need to do . one day at a time .
4- today was a good day . i trust in H' that the $ i need will come to me . or is already here and show itself .! 
    i am feeling still weak and vulnerable for the past few days . too close to the edge .  my feeling of closeness is gone for now . i feel right on the other side of the line and i could cross anytime  . i don't like it . i'm going to try and connect to H' with my mind . 

This is the best time to do that - remember that you can open your eyes and realize which way to go...it's a total trick that we need to do it...

You make me smile when I see that you're doing so well!

Keep up the good work.