Hi guys

Back again
I've spoken to my "therapist" and she said that I need to find things that I enjoy to substitute with wacking off.
She also said that I need to work on my thoughts during the day, in order that I shouldn't have to come to that stage, where I feel like I need to slip up. Its called CBT. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, have any of u guys heard of it?

I'm gonna be posting my trail of thoughts on this forum, which is the reason why I end up slipping up, i get into a whole "tizz" and...
Uri, ive checked out your adventures, dude, you rock!!!!!

I'm sitting by the computer here, busting for da toilet, so i'll be back again soon.

hi net, good to hear from you. I've heard of DBT - Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, not CBT. See this page of our forum... Zeva Citronenbaum talks there about DBT.




Shraga, who you saw in Israel, is a big fan of this approach... Have you read our translations of "the first day of the rest of my life"? Download here. He wrote it. it talks a lot about that approach!

Hi Net

I've read alot on CBT by books written by David Burns.look at the books by Martin Seligman and Aaron Beck as well.

His 2 books "Feeling Good" and "When Panick attackes"  are tremendous.

It pays for everyone to remember the thought 'distortions" and do those writing excercises.

there is a book called EMETT written by Miriam Adahan that discusses this as well.Alot of her books are based on CBT.

CBT helps alot.no hocus-pocus magic there.Alot of basic common sense and logic.and you keep at it,alot of the extremes of negative emotions are stabilized to a great degree and the head and heart becomes much clearer.

Please stick around here.It's a very pleasant place to be

Hi Yechida, thanx alot, I'll check out that stuff.

With me, I think that my problem is not necesserily about an addiction to porn within itself, it's things on teh side, that bring it up.
Certain situations that I put myself in really trigers my problems, like, for example ,  would have had a day full of negative thoughts and thought distortions. i'll be sitting by a computer in a library or someplace private, with a lot of work to do, i'll get overwhelmed by the work and I'll get really tempted by the fact that the porn and the "escape is so accessible, so eventually whether after an hour or a couple of minutes, i'll slip up, it's inevitable, being that I'm in a crap mood, in a private place, have a computer in front of me and wanting an escape.

So there are a few things that i need to fix. I need to stop the negative cycle with cbt, so that it doesn't escalate. My therapist suggested keeping a thought diary, so that I can pick up all the negative, subconsious, thoughts and learn to combat them with CBT.

I need to make sure not to put myself in  vulnerable situations. in order that I don't come to the chssash of slipping up. Like keeping away from the library computers at all costs. making sure I have no access to internet when I'm by myself etc.

I need to find something that's an escape that can take my mind off things, but that doesn't impact me in a negative way. like porn or mausterbation.

I was thinking of sharing my thought diary with the dudes here on the forum, in order that i can get some help in combating the distorted thoughts and stuff.

I feel that If i fix these things, it will fix the problem from the root. It doesn't work for me to just say, I'm gonna be clean, vezehu.
Because at least in my case, there are reasons behind the way I act like this.

I'll be back later on, to post my thought diary from today.

Cheers guys!!!

Hi Guys

I'm sitting on the copuuter in the library but in a very open place so it would be impossible to slip up here.

I'm gonna post my chart here to see what you guys think.

-Trigger-	-Thoughts-	-Feelings and emotions-	-Behaviour -	-Alternative thoughts-	-Feelings and emotions -	-What could I do differently this time or next time? -
Woke up on Wednesday morning	1.Oh no, I cant be bothered getting up, it’s so cold outside 2.I feel  yuck and depressed when I get up. 3.It’s already Wednesday and the weeks nearly over , it’s too late to change. 4.It’s already Elul and there’s only a month left, there’s no point in trying. 5.I’m failing in the course, there’s no point in getting up, it’s no use 6.There’s no point in getting up on time on only one morning I’m never gonna get up on time anytime else, and the years nearly over anyway, so what does it matter	Sad, hopeless  7/10 Lazyness 7/10 Depressed 5/10	Sleep in, feel like s&^% when I do get up, because of all the stupid thoughts	1. It’s only temporary, it will only be cold for 5 minutes, until you put your clothes on, it doesn’t help to ignore this, on a scale of 1 to 10 its not soooooooo painful to get up, the israeli soldiers do sooo much more, they only sleep like 2 hours,and you’ll feel better for getting up, so if the reason your not getting up is because youre not gonna feel good.you will feel good.	-	-

Hi I need some help combating these annoying thoughts. Any ideas?

Hi Net, I have something very good for you to read that can help you to combat many of these thoughts. It's a post from a Zen book by "Kanesher". It's deep. I hope you can relate to it.

See reply #17 on this page.

Hi guys

Back again, a bit discouraged from the fact that no-one posted anything at all after i put up the chart, whateva
I guess it's a bit hard to understand, but it's my way of fighting the problem.

Anyway, got to go, I'll be in touch with you dudes, bye.

Hi Net

I apologize for not responding until now.

never think that non-posting means that something doesn't have great value.

continue communicating,you never know,even 1 person who may be too shy to post will benefit from how you are dealing with your struggles.You may actually help someone in a great way and you wont even know it.Net comes up after 120,and you get a thank you from people you had no idea that you helped.

every person here has something to contribute-Mr Net included 

this chart is very crucial to many people who can use it.

Truth be told if you don't have time to fill out a full form for yourself in every situation or feeling that comes up,you can use just 2 columns.the negative thought and the alternate thought.I do this sometimes.Once you know the distortions well,you don't need to always right them down or the % etc.

Net,please don't get discouraged here.Of course different people will be interested in different things.I know that my own postings aren't everyones cup of tea-some care for it-and some don't.

So you can definitely learn alot here.you pick and choose what suits you and can help you.and I'm certain that your contribution will help people here

Net, did you see that I quoted your CBT info in email 563 (on this page)? Thanks for the info... How's it going with that, mate?

Hi Yechida, thanks for the reply, I agree with you, it's very true

Anyway, I made a hachlotoh today, not to go into the library here at college, and to set up more shiurim.


I find that if I'm learning it makes it so much easier to keep up the fight, and If i go onto the libary computers, I'm bymyself and very vulnerable.

I have to keep up with the CBT, maybe I'll post up a chart soon.

From the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe; words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman.

"There are two ways to ascend: You can step upward, leaving one foot in its place as the other moves ahead. Or you can crouch down and jump.

This is the true meaning of failure: It is the way we have of tearing ourselves out of our past so we can leap into the future.

When a person is always successful,  he only moves forward step by step. Which really means that he remains always within the same dimension of reality as before.

When he fails, however, he is then able to look back and say, "This is not where I should be!" Then he tears himself out of his pattern and leaps into a whole new dimension of life.

Anyone who has worked with an addict in recovery has seen this in very practical terms.


Cheers Blokes, I have to find the source for that!

Hi Net

On the Lubavicher Rebbe's insight you posted,there is a sefer called tzidkas hatzaddik by Reb Zadok HaKohen.The very first words of the sefer discusses that subject.

He says that the Yidin in Mitzraim had a special mitzvah to eat the korbon pesach "bichipozon" which means quickly all dressed and ready to go.A mitzvah was for only then but not for generations,because it was then in Mitzraim,not a good place,they need to rush into this mitzvah,like that big leap you discussed,just to get out of the old place and old lifestyle.Once you did this,and you are on safer ground,then you can afford to go slower,step by step,level to level.

The Gra in Even Shelaima says that usually it is not good to take big leaps and to go too high too fast.

But at the point you are trying to run away from something unhealthy,I think the Gra would agree that you must leap high and far to remove yourself from that lifestyle you want to reject.

Have a wonderful Shabbos

Hi Net

looking foward to your chart(remember people read even if they don't post)

Also,without into personal issues,just on a professional basis,I'm curious to hear why the therapist feels CBT helps,in what way,why he feels it works,when can people with depression use this and not need medication etc etc.

I admit to you Net that some of the reasons I ask this is selfish.I'm interested in the subject

But you also know I care about you too and always want you to be well.

yechida