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I'm NOT fasting this Tisha B'av
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: I'm NOT fasting this Tisha B'av 1579 Views

Re: I'm NOT fasting this Tisha B'av 04 Dec 2011 11:24 #127598

  • Blind Beggar
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  • Not a sexaholic, just trying to be good.
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Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 27 Jul 2011 19:49:

Rebbe Reb Dov Shlita,


It has been said around this forum numerous times (but I haven't seen it in the past while):

For those whom their 'acting out' was virtual, Recovery can be virtual too;

For those who did the wrong thing 'live' might need Recovery to be 'live' too.



If your addiction consisted in actually seeking out human beings, you are in an entire different league than those who lusted over the internet only......      The 'medicine' for such addicts may quite likely be much milder dose than what was/is needed for you.....




I can only speak for myself. I have never been sexual with any woman besides my wife, and that includes strip shows, chats and emails - no live contact at all. I was never able to stop masturbating for more than a few weeks until I brought my Jewish beard and real Jewish name into a real SA meeting and admitted all my lusting and masturbating in front of a whole room full of real recovering sexaholics.
The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars.
If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look.
I can guard my eyes.
I want to guard my eyes.
I do guard my eyes.
Why do I say these four lines?
Last Edit: 04 Dec 2011 12:55 by .

Re: I'm NOT fasting this Tisha B'av 04 Dec 2011 12:11 #127600

  • Dov
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Hearing you loud and clear. It is sad that pat answers like that are so sweet to the ear of those who just do not want to face the music. Funny, I can't speak for him, but I bet that these days Yosef Hatzaddik would have responded even more strongly than he did there. But he said good, as usual.

Someone (Guard?) correct me if I am wrong, but was it Rav Twerski who suggested that virtual tools could be sufficient for those who were only virtually using?

Nu.

My only response to the person who comfortably relies on the "fight virtual with virtual" advice, would be this:

When a guy looks up schmutz, is he only virtually looking at it? Is he only virtually clicking the mouse and keys? When he has sex with himself, is it just virtually happening?

Is anything at all that we do virtual?

That's all.
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
Last Edit: 04 Dec 2011 14:27 by .

Re: I'm NOT fasting this Tisha B'av 25 Apr 2012 04:42 #136241

  • Yosef Hatzadik
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When someone is typing on his keyboard to post on this forum, calls in to a phone group using an anonymous username, or does a searching and fearless moral inventory by hand & shares some of it over the phone he is taking action of equal intensity and is just as virtual as his acting out was.

It is possible to become sober with the GYE tools alone.

[......but, if anyone sees that after trying this method he still cannot stay sober, he ought to try a more potent form of Recovery. Otherwise..........<[i]IS [/i]there an otherwise?? ARE there any other options??>]




"SA does not have a monopoly on Recovery......."(Dov)
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