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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
TOPIC: Mikvah a must? 1095 Views
Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 00:01 #109700
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 06:29 #109714
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Hello Shermy,
Stick around here, and you'll find lots of help for getting back on your feet. Welcome to our community, you have finally come home! We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them! GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer). 'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level. Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery: 1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed. 2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day. 3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here. 4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation! 5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are. 6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100. 7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts: A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…  The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook! May Hashem be with you! |
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Visit me at Eye.nonymous official countAnd also check out Additional Tools for recovery
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 12:03 #109730
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 12:22 #109733
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 14:11 #109740
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 14:46 #109741
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 16:56 #109755
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Help free Sholom Rubashkin by giving him the zechus of Shemiras Eiynayim. www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2809.0
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 17:20 #109760
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 17:34 #109762
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Help free Sholom Rubashkin by giving him the zechus of Shemiras Eiynayim. www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2809.0
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 17:54 #109766
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This topic has already been debated in Mikveh or not.
If you look at my posts there, you will see that (based on what I was mekabel from my Rebbes) I disagree with Ur-a-Jew. Too make it easier for you, I am quoting some of them here: Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 07 Apr 2010 21:19: After all that has been discussed, I can still not allow myself to remain silent. Mikve is Magic! Hashem is the Magician. Anyone who will look in any sefer from any sect (?) of klal Yisroel that discusses this matter will see this is a fact. We do not understand how it works or why it works. Our personal feelings should not be playing a role in this debate. At times we may feel holier. At times the guilty feeling may be stronger than that. EVERY TIME we immerse in a mikve WE ARE HOLIER!!!! Even a dead person is purified before his burial, either by immersion of the body in a mikve or by its equivalent, tisha kabin she'uvim. The famous Mashgiach R' Elya Lopian said that he enjoys seeing the chasidishe bochurim coming from the mikve. The tehara is noticable on their faces. (Lev Eliyahu) Even if the tehara is only noticeable by a godol it definitely is there. True, Hashem is Hashochen itum besoch timosam, but what about ki yireh becha ervas davar v'shav mei'achrecha? We want Hashem to fight the Yetzer Horah? We need him nearby! Any torah that we learn b'tahara, any mitzvos that we do b'tahara, and any nisoyon that we overcome when we are in a state of (relative) purity is a thousandfold more effective! If you have the option, GO TO THE MIKVE!!!!!! {Be discreet, but do it anyway} (Heard that the Satmar Rebbe Zy"a kept the Mikve of his Beis Medrash open even on Yom Kippur. He said that a ba'al Keri should use for a single dip.) Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 08 Apr 2010 22:56: Chasidim go to the mikve every day. In addition to cleansing of Tumah, a mikve bring kedusha onto a person. The Kohen godol on Yom Kippur in the Beis Hamikdash went to the mikve upon exiting the Kodesh Kodoshim! The holiest person on the holiest day at the holiest place still had use for the added kedusha that mikve brings!!!! One of the Rebbes said, A convert must use the mikve to change from a non-jew into a jew. Then it is a Kl v'chomer that a mikve has the power to change someone who is already a jew into a better jew! Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 16 Apr 2010 16:09: dov wrote on 12 Apr 2010 15:54: We all sing Rabbee Akivah's ma'amar about "Mikveh yisroel Hashem" on Lag baOmer, right? Don't we hear what we are saying? Hashem is our Mikvah - not the mikvah, but Hashem. Now, what's that supposed to mean? To me, it means that our mikvah of water is an embodiment of Hashem's Chesed. When we connect to Hashem in His Chesed (Love), we are immediately purified. His Chesed is above all Dinim, and certainly "above" all Tum'ah, as Tum'ah is only an expression of Dinim. Our Tum'ah isn't really removed - rather, it becomes irrelevant. Mazel Tov. So it is all about Hashem after all, at least the way I see it. But this has to be real, to accomplish anything at all. For those who in their hearts are still looking at the mikvah as having some magical power endowed by Hashem, I maintain that they are diconnecting the whole idea of mikvah from Hashem. Malochim and stars are also endowed with power. Uh-oh. No matter how much kedusha and tahara those fellows feel they are connecting to, to me it's still the opposite of the recovery I know in my life. At its root, it'd still be all about me and my power to finally "beat this thing". It's white-knuckling. To me, white-knuckling doesn't get any better by using Hashem's name a lot or by my being more dedicated to Torah and mitzvos - it's still white-knuckling and brings no relief. The struggle and "pressure" only builds up over time that way. Double uh-oh. So, I am not saying anything different than my earlier two posts that were pro-mikvah. My only point is that Mikveh yisroel Hashem: it has to be all about Hashem, not our struggle. Not about beating lust. Not about winning, but about Hashem. Should He decide to lift me above the lust, great! It's up to Him. All I can do is try to connect to him by mesiras nefesh, which literally means "giving myself and my will over to Him". If mikveh helps me do that. it'll work - like a charm! If not, it's just another opportunity for dissilusionment with yiddishkeit. Again.  The quote from Rabbi Akiva is that "just as mikveh purifies the impure - AUTOMATICALY! The mere act of being completely submerged in those waters of life work their 'magic'. So to to the mere (?) act of giving it over to Hashem, connecting to Hashem - completely, will purify us from our blemishes - AUTOMATICALLY!!! Rabbi Shimshon Pinkus Ztz"l says (on the topic of Brochos): Just mouthing the words of a Brocho - even without ANY kavana whatsoever - will work like magic. When someone drops a bomb it will explode! Does it make a difference if he had kavana that it should explode or not? The Halacha is that only in the first Brocho of Shmono Esrah is kavana me'akev. Any other brocho will accomplish its goals in the Upper Spheres without any additional work from us! Of course, with more kavana it will be even more effective. {Possibly something like precision bombing? (my note)} [For the sake of completeness, we must continue the quote from Rav Pinkus: He does add one caveat though; In order for the brocho to work, the brocho must be a brocho. Every word MUST be enunciated clearly. just saying, "Bu'chato Adoleinu Mel'cholam Borei Pri Ha'etz" is not a brocho. It is a useless mumble that won't accomplish anything at all!] Now, Rebbi DOV, your turn. Refute every point I made. Break it up. Show its absurdity. Tell us why it didn't work for you, & why you doubt it will work for anyone with a problem. I know that it didn't work for me either. After all, "I" had all this knowledge for years and "I" still couldn't control "myself" before coming to GYE! (But, I didn't do the 12 steps, I didn't concentrate on handing back to Hashem the nisyonos that he placed before me. I just used this forum & the encouragement that it pumps into me -along with the tiny bit of Yiras Shomayim that i possess from my education - and I am okay for almost 3 months!! BORUCH HASHEM) Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 16 Apr 2010 17:44: dov wrote on 16 Apr 2010 17:24: we did have some fun, no? Pikudei Hashem yesharim misachei leiv, right? The Zohar Hakodosh refers to the 613 Mitzvos as Taryag Itin, eitzos = suggestions. They are 613 suggestion on how to connect with Hashem. Just because someone went to the mikve in the morning, he will not yet be immune to the Yetzer Horah's overtures. It is not a vaccine against tumah. There is such a thing as Toivel v'sheretz beyodo, immersing in a mikve while a clutching a Tumeh emiting device in his hand is absolutely worthless!!! That said, we must still recognize the distinction between 'someone who is fighting the Y"H' & 'someone who is fighting the Y"H along with an immersion in the mikve' (be it via the 12 Step method or otherwise). By harnessing the 'magical' powers that Hashem put into mikve we are changing the rules of the game! {Remember some of those |
Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 18:11 #109767
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 18:15 #109768
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Help free Sholom Rubashkin by giving him the zechus of Shemiras Eiynayim. www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=2809.0
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 18:19 #109769
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Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 18:21 #109771
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The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars.
If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look. I can guard my eyes. I want to guard my eyes. I do guard my eyes. Why do I say these four lines? |
Re: Mikvah a must? 28 Jun 2011 18:24 #109772
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