Right, it seems there are so many ways for one to deplete his olam haba, some of which are so easy to fall into.  Yet at the same time there seem to be "easy" ways to gain a reassurance of having some share in olam haba, including wearing tefillin and walking four amos in e"y.  The way I see it, it appears incredibly easy for me to diminish my olam haba, and it also appears incredibly easy to gain a reassurance of having some olam haba.  I have wasted seed in my life, but I have also worn tefillin and walked four amos in e"y.  Does that mean that I have absolutely no share in olam haba but simultaneously I have gained a reassurance of having a share in olam haba?  So--with these kinds of statements you run into things that appear to the human mind to be contradictions, much like the dilemma of having bchira but Hashem knowing the future--the Rambam wrote that the human mind can not understand how both statements are true even though they appear to contradict!!!!!  So, the way I see it, there's no point in obsessing over things that the human mind can not understand.

And anyway, I am not convinced that wasting seed diminishes one's share in olam haba because the Kitzur (chapter 151, I think) gives a rather long list of tikkunim for wasting seed.  If wasting seed was the end of the world (or the end of the "next world," rather) then why would the Kitzur list such tikkunim if they were of no value anyway?  The very existence of those tikkunim suggets that there is indeed a way to recover from the damage of zera lvatala.

Dovid hamelech successfully did teshuva for a similarly severe sin.  Does Dovid hamelech have any share in olam haba?

On a bit of a different topic, so there's murder, idolatry, and sexual immorality as the three yherog v'al yaavor.  Or at least that's the way I've always heard it.  But what exactly is included under that nebulous "sexual immorality" category?  Wasting seed?  Looking at porn?  So if someone points a gun to my head and he says, "Look at porn or I will shoot you," do I look at the porn or do I let him shoot me?

Neither z"l nor v'lo sasuru are yeihareig v'al ya'avor.  Any intimate physical contact with an Ervah (including any woman who is a Niddah) is yeihareig v'al ya'avor.

On another note, the Rambam in Hilchos Teshuva says regarding certain Aveiros where Chazal say "Ain lo cheilek la'olam Habah" that it's only if the aveira is done habitually (and without Teshuva).  The Rambam specifically mentions embarrassing someone publicly and giving someone a derogatory nickname.  Of course, even for someone who did it habitually, if the person were to do Teshuva, he would regain his Cheilek la'olam Habah.  Furthermore, even if he didn't receive Mechilah from the person, and would therefore need some type of punishment, it's not Mistaber that he would lose his Olam Habah if he otherwise did Teshuva [heard from, among others, HaRav Yaakov Weinberg, ZT"L].

Kedusha- how about if he will shoot you on shabbos can you call a sponsor?

You the best!

To clarify and then turn it all around:

I am not trying to minimize the cheit of sex with yourself (masturbation). The Zohar and Chaza"l say the truth, of course. Still, it is no reason for a Jew to give up on a great life and lose faith in Hashem's abounding love for him/her. And how can it always be halachically considered yehoreg v'al ya'avor - the case in the gemorah was surely a hora'as sho'oh for that person based on the circumstances.

But all this is not necessarily true for addicts. I know a beautiful chassidishe yid with about 20 years sobriety from lust whose acting out included prostitutes, etc., who says to his G-d every day, "Teiereh Tatteh, if I am going to act out today, then please, please take me first."

Many of us - whether sex and lust addicts or alcoholics, or whatever-aholics, have very low bottoms. Life is definitely not worth living as an acting out addict. So we truly prefer death to such a life. That is how precious our sobriety is to many of us.

This is not a madreiga, but a choice based on enlightened self-interest, plain and simple. We are so sick, that sobriety is more precious than anything else, period.

I guess that is the pnimius of "yehoreig v'al ya'avor", no? Is a Jew to die rather than do the big three because Hashem says so - or because he needs to die rather than do such things? I think it is the latter....though to those I feel are 'olam-haba-seeking goodie-goodies', the former is obviously their aspiration.

Nu. To each his own.

Dov,

I sympathize with the notion that losing one's sobriety can be a fate worse than death.  I was speaking strictly according to the Halacha when I said that acting out (with oneself) is not Yeihareig v'al Yaavor.

Excuse my ignorance--there are a few terms with which I'm unfamiliar.  Could anyone explain what the following are?  Would be appreciated.  Thanks!

Ervah (does it include shiksas?)
Mistaber
hora'as sho'oh

Dear Kedusha,

Yeah. I agree with you, but wanted to kind of talk about it within the "realities on the ground" perspective, that's all. Besides, you and others here are more knowledgeable about the actual halocha than I am.

Dear shomerbris,

Ervah - the private body parts that typically "turn others (usually guys) on". Torah says that refers to all skin that he wants us to cover with clothing. Biblically, this refers specifically to genitalia. With one's wife, the normally covered skin is not referred to as 'an erva', except in the context of saying Sh'ma, brachos, and Torah stuff. On the other hand, anyone who is considered halachically prohibited for one to marry (or be sexual with in any way) is loosely referred to as "an erva" to him or her, too. And that would include shiksas, another Jew's wife, your mother, your father, etc. It's confusing, no?

Mistaber - "sensible", "likely" or "probable" (from Shprintza-Feigah's Yinglish Dictionary for Lakewood Police Officers, tofshinlamedaleph [goyish 1971])

Hora'as sho'oh - something that may normally be prohibited by halocha - but under special circumstances allowed just one time or for a single person (like Eliyahu betting on an open miracle at mount Carmel [my personally favorite mountain flavor]). It may also refer to the prohibition of something that is normally permitted, but as that's not that much fun, they don't talk about that as much in the literature  ;D

Ervah also includes any Jewish woman who is a Niddah, which would be from around age 11 and up.

Oh, yeah.

Thanks so much, Dov!  And good voch.

And what about thanking Mr Kedusha? Hmm?


...my mother made me write that.

So I was actually following along with the Haftorah (Hosea 2:01-2:22) in Shul this week on Shabbos.  I found it quite wild and schizophrenic.  Some kind of mad tirade.

Then I looked down (yes, it was the Artscroll Stone Edition) into the commentary, and got blown away.

Summary of the story, paraphrased, and as explained by various sources:
A prophet is chatting to Hashem, and says "these people have been doing the worst sin, from which we cannot recover" - why not find another nation to be yours?

Hashem says, "Go and marry so-and-so" (a rather immoral woman, who sleeps around shamelessly), which he does, and has 3 kids, with odd names.  Hashem then says, "OK - now send them away - after all, the kids probably aren't even yours."

Said prophet says, " I can't - I love them, even though they might not be mine".

Says Hashem, "Now you see why I cannot abandon my nation, even though they have done all these terrible things!"

Thanks, Reb Kedusha!  My fault.  Forgive me.

That's beautiful, Jester.  And also demonstrates that there's halacha and hashkafa to every issue.  Halacha that Hashem promised the bris is eternal and so He can't choose another nation, and hashkafa that he can't choose another nation for different ("emotional," if such can be ascribed to Hashem) reasons.  Similarly with c"v giving up on life because we've committed the "worst sin," (halachic) or Dov's hashkafic reasons to live on!  (of course, intention is not to demean the halacha)
 
Kedusha wrote:

What constitutes intimate physical contact?  Hugging?  Handshaking?

Nope. I won't let you do it. We've been down the handshaking route before....

Just do a "search" ob GYE for "handshaking" and you will find a few weeks of discussion on the topic with some of the good 'ole GYE back-and-forth stuff.

Enjoy. But please don't bring it up here again so soon....I just ate dinner!

wow thanks for all the thought provoking comments.  Dov I found your comment somewhat difficult to understand, and that which I did understand problematic.  you mean to say that a person looks at me (or whoever) and would say, I would sooner choose death than what we've got!  so in effect everyone in these rooms is a walking dead-man?  Also, I heard the exact opposite of what you say - to wit, that our attitude to mitvot should be, "what can I do?  This is what the Torah requires." i.e. not that chazir makes me sick, rather, I would like to eat chazir, however, it's proscribed by the Torah, thus, what can I do?  so like, I have to give up my life for so and so, what can I do, that's what the law requires...