Wow! That's a heck a lot of days. Can I suggest you stick around more often and offer some insights to those of us still deep in the dark tunnel?

daverose wrote on 26 May 2025 20:51:

Why shouldn't one be embarrased  of doing a sin? We say בושתי וגם נכלמתי להרים פני אליך and all sorts of other such phrases regarding repentance. Isn't sinning against Hashem's will something to be ashamed and embarrased of? It's terrible! Maybe to plunge into doing good things and gaurding oneself properly is correct, but isn't it still a terribly embarrasing thing?

Keep 'em coming!

I gotta say, way back in the day you posted something on my thread along these lines that was extremely eye opening and something I still keep on coming back to.

Here it is:
chancy wrote on 02 Apr 2024 17:30:

Hey everyone, 

Good morning, afternoon, evening... whenever you see this in the world. 

I'm in a terrible place right now. Mentally, spiritually, even physically. I no longer feel like I'm in-the-fight anymore in this battle. I feel awful about myself, and it has even affected my studies and work. Everything that I hold dear and consider important are slowly slipping away from me, and I've come to the realization that if I keep going down this path, who knows where I'll end up. I've been out of the Yeshivah system for over a year now so I don't have the same support system as I used to, and I'm no longer a teenager. Based on my age, I'm expected to begin dating soon, but I can't imagine starting the dating process when I'm having such difficult struggles. 

Like many of us, I've been struggling with inyanei kedusha since early adolescence and I never managed to stave off the Yetzer Hara and stay strong. Many of my "successes" in this have been short-lived, not lasting more than a month. I've known about GYE for some time now - a couple of years - and I have even used some of their resources, like the Taphsic method from way back, and more recently the F2F (when it first came out, I don't remember exactly when), but none of my attempts yielded any significant results, mainly because my motivation faded over time (you know, when you start feeling good about yourself and think "Hey, I'm finally out of the woods!" and you let your guard down when in reality its just another ploy of the Yetzer Hara. That's what usually gets me back down if I even manage some success).

My question for the wonderful members of this community is the following: Where do I start from again? How can I reinitiate and jumpstart my journey to getting closer to Hashem? I do have a good filter, but no filter is perfect, and I have unfortunately been poking into it looking for loopholes. I feel so overwhelmed with all the different tools, programs, and methods that are available and I just don't know where to start. Does anyone had any advice for me? Even words of chizuk are much appreciated. May Hashem give all of you much Siyata Dishmaya. 

Thanks for reading.