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Welcome,
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Re: Skeptical but open-minded 04 Jul 2025 01:31 #438443
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With love and appreciation, Yosef the Tzadik.
If procrastination were a sport, i'd be the undisputed international champion! jackfisher13213@gmail.com |
Re: My journey 04 Jul 2025 01:30 #438442
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Lifes short.... cover ground before ground covers you
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Re: My journey 04 Jul 2025 01:13 #438441
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With love and appreciation, Yosef the Tzadik.
If procrastination were a sport, i'd be the undisputed international champion! jackfisher13213@gmail.com |
Re: Religious pain 04 Jul 2025 01:06 #438440
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chaimoigen wrote on 03 Jul 2025 22:15:
bright wrote on 03 Jul 2025 04:43: I’d like to be vulnerable as well; vulnerability breeds vulnerability I believe to a degree, I knew that this would start a debate, I was being pretty controversial, and maybe that's what I wanted. I enjoy a good back-and-forth. I apologize if you or anyone was hurt because of this. This leads to the following dillema. Dealing with someone who suffers from religious pain is very different than working through false cognitions in therapy for something like depression. In the case of depression, it’s often enough for a fellow sufferer to empathize, and for the therapist to work through the distortions and triggers in a safe, structured way. But when the pain stems from religious beliefs, I think empathy alone isn’t sufficient. These beliefs often come wrapped in the authority of Torah and spiritual obligation, which makes them feel unchallengeable. For example, if someone believes that Hashem wants them to sit and learn Torah day and night, and that anything less is believed, then yes, we can (and must) empathize. Living with such a demanding and punishing image of Hashem is incredibly painful. But in my opinion, empathy is only part of it. To really help, we sometimes need to gently offer permission to believe in a different version of Hashem, a compassionate, loving one. This requires some level of intellectual engagement, especially if the person believes this harsh view is Daas Torah, taught to them directly by all the gedolim throughout the generations. Of course, there’s a fine line between offering healing Torah and giving a full-on shiur klali, which can feel irrelevant or even invalidating. The goal is never to debate (although that's fun too for some), but to open a window, subtly and sensitively, that maybe, just maybe, there’s another way to see things. I believe I may have crossed that line recently, and if so, I apologize. But I’d really love to hear from the oilam, and from someone in particular (you know who), whether this resonates. And also, where is that line between helpful Torah and a beis midrash-style discussion? How do we offer clarity without sounding like we’re trying to “prove” something? Spot on, brother. You are accentuating the difficulty of the sensitive balancing/juggling act that you are asking those of those who are capable of trying to bridge the "gap" you spoke of in your original post. Not simple to find the delicate balance while being supportive, sensitive and empathetic. It's a lot easier to merely empathize, but it often wont truly help the person. Pointing out distortions, opening up new ideas, all without lecturing and allthewhile trying to preserve dignity and exercise care, gently showing the right way without repeating the mistakes of those that went before, all this without truly knowing what the guy is dealing with, because he hasn't opened up fully .... it aint easy. It's easier to give up without trying, especially if you don't want to do any harm inadvertently... But doing what's easier hasn't helped anyone lately... Real life usually doesnt have easy answers. Thanks for being a Bright spot in a world that's often full of shadows. chaimoigen It definitely helps, especially when you give it:) But for real healing to start, yes, we have to take some risks... |
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Nothing good grows in the dark.
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Re: Religious pain 04 Jul 2025 01:04 #438439
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Nothing good grows in the dark.
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Re: Hi. My first post. 04 Jul 2025 01:01 #438438
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BenHashemBH wrote on 02 Jul 2025 11:51:
yosefthetzadik wrote on 02 Jul 2025 08:51: Just saw a moiridika vort on the parsha. I must share it with my fellow fighters. “The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.” -Groucho Marks. Have a look at the TzitsisDude's signature  Lol... I saw it on his signature, loved it, and sent it to my friends.... Later i saw it on my friend chat again, totally forgot and posted it here.. Even after you showed me this, i thought it's a coincidence. I now bumped in to tzitzis dude acount, and just realized that indeed, I took it from there |
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With love and appreciation, Yosef the Tzadik.
If procrastination were a sport, i'd be the undisputed international champion! jackfisher13213@gmail.com |
Re: My journey 04 Jul 2025 00:48 #438437
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Re: Tips for שמירת העיניים 03 Jul 2025 23:29 #438435
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Re: I really think we should all… 03 Jul 2025 22:54 #438434
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“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. “Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery” -also Calvin. “The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.” -Groucho Marks. “Pornography is a bad answer to a good question” -R’ Daniel Kalish “True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.” -Rabbi Dovid Kaplan. |
ישר כח באשעפער thank you hashem 03 Jul 2025 22:49 #438433
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Re: Starting for over hundredth time 03 Jul 2025 22:47 #438432
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Re: Hi. My first post. 03 Jul 2025 22:39 #438431
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Re: Skeptical but open-minded 03 Jul 2025 22:23 #438430
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Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com
Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen |
Re: Religious pain 03 Jul 2025 22:15 #438429
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bright wrote on 03 Jul 2025 04:43:
I’d like to be vulnerable as well; vulnerability breeds vulnerability I believe to a degree, I knew that this would start a debate, I was being pretty controversial, and maybe that's what I wanted. I enjoy a good back-and-forth. I apologize if you or anyone was hurt because of this. This leads to the following dillema. Dealing with someone who suffers from religious pain is very different than working through false cognitions in therapy for something like depression. In the case of depression, it’s often enough for a fellow sufferer to empathize, and for the therapist to work through the distortions and triggers in a safe, structured way. But when the pain stems from religious beliefs, I think empathy alone isn’t sufficient. These beliefs often come wrapped in the authority of Torah and spiritual obligation, which makes them feel unchallengeable. For example, if someone believes that Hashem wants them to sit and learn Torah day and night, and that anything less is believed, then yes, we can (and must) empathize. Living with such a demanding and punishing image of Hashem is incredibly painful. But in my opinion, empathy is only part of it. To really help, we sometimes need to gently offer permission to believe in a different version of Hashem, a compassionate, loving one. This requires some level of intellectual engagement, especially if the person believes this harsh view is Daas Torah, taught to them directly by all the gedolim throughout the generations. Of course, there’s a fine line between offering healing Torah and giving a full-on shiur klali, which can feel irrelevant or even invalidating. The goal is never to debate (although that's fun too for some), but to open a window, subtly and sensitively, that maybe, just maybe, there’s another way to see things. I believe I may have crossed that line recently, and if so, I apologize. But I’d really love to hear from the oilam, and from someone in particular (you know who), whether this resonates. And also, where is that line between helpful Torah and a beis midrash-style discussion? How do we offer clarity without sounding like we’re trying to “prove” something? Spot on, brother. You are accentuating the difficulty of the sensitive balancing/juggling act that you are asking those of those who are capable of trying to bridge the "gap" you spoke of in your original post. Not simple to find the delicate balance while being supportive, sensitive and empathetic. It's a lot easier to merely empathize, but it often wont truly help the person. Pointing out distortions, opening up new ideas, all without lecturing and allthewhile trying to preserve dignity and exercise care, gently showing the right way without repeating the mistakes of those that went before, all this without truly knowing what the guy is dealing with, because he hasn't opened up fully .... it aint easy. It's easier to give up without trying, especially if you don't want to do any harm inadvertently... But doing what's easier hasn't helped anyone lately... Real life usually doesnt have easy answers. Thanks for being a Bright spot in a world that's often full of shadows. chaimoigen |
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Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com
Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen |
Re: Hi. My first post. 03 Jul 2025 22:11 #438427
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Hi, day number 15 passed. Had another stressfull day B"H. Feel like my head is about to explode! Not giving in to the YH though. I'm rather gonna have stress than have guilt too. YH, if you're reading this, I quit! No more just, that's it! I'm done with you!
Thank you Eerie for setting me up with a great mentor. And thank you anonymous mentor of course! My newest favorite procrastination method is the GYE forum and website. Wasted too many hours on it lately. Been pushing of everything important for days already. Having to do all my daily chores late at night. Which only adds to the stress. But, I guess, to overcome lust, stress is better than being bored. No?!? Whatever, keeping inspired by @jewizard. Also the רווק הדר בכרך post gave me some chizzuk. Also, for some reason i feel like i was much closer to Hashem in the past. My mentor told me that that's a common theme in sforim. That Hashem gives closeness to people that start out בדרכי העבודה even though they don't deserve it, just to give them a taste. But now I have to learn how to earn that taste myself, a process which can take years. Anyway, so long fellow ffighters. Gotta go do everything I procrastinated today....   Warning: Spoiler! |
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With love and appreciation, Yosef the Tzadik.
If procrastination were a sport, i'd be the undisputed international champion! jackfisher13213@gmail.com |