I don't do official meditation, but I go for walks or if I'm driving somewhere, occasionally I'll drive in silence to just be one with my thoughts for a good 30-60 minutes. It's a good time to reflect on things and also practice just being. 

Reb PY and I may be converging on the observation that your stimulation and replacement activities could be skipping over a root cause that would be beneficial to identify. 

Kol Tov

Welcome to the family, you came to the right place and kol hakavod for coming out and introducing yourself. Here you will find people who understand your struggle and have lots of experience with helping you move in the right direction.

In terms of your question about what's called a fall, I'm no expert but I would think that youtube is not considered a fall officially, but from experience it's a very slippery slope from there... especiallywith an unfiltered device. Most of us would say that being alone with an unfiltered device is a recipe for disaster.

I would try anything to put some sort of (even temp) filter on the device and have it removed when you return it to the company, I imagine that there's a way, perhaps someone can chime in on ideas. If all else fails, I would advise not opening that computer unless it's in a public place, ie starbucks, library etc. The same way you wouldn't put an alcoholic alone in the same room as a bottle of whiskey, you can't put a frum Jew in the same room as an unfiltered device (this imho is wheteher he is an addict or not). 

Much hatzlacha to you on your journey

Mr94 wrote on 27 Aug 2024 15:26:

Amazing! 
As I'm reading your post I'm not sure what you mean exactly.
Is it relaxing or filling a void?

If it is a void, do you know what that void is? 
If it's relaxing, why aren't the alternative methods working for you?

Again, just my thoughts.
Either way, KUTGW!

BenHashemBH wrote on 27 Aug 2024 15:55:

Hey BenHashem just to clarify the late night early morning excursions were when i was young and free:smirk:, now I am a responsible adult with a family and my responsibilities get me to bed around before 1, but I still kill many hours a day and night when I have free time just surfing the web. It's interesting you mention meditating because my approach has always been to increase alternative stimulants, for example I've adopted a few pastimes such as cooking, building, playing sports/exercising all in hopes of leaving myself with no time for the screen, but alas there always seems to be enough time for both, perhaps mediation is something I should look into if you have any resources to send my way I'd be happy to look into it.

Welcome Mr94,
You mentioned past games and videos late into the night (early into the morning?). Maybe it's not the tech specifically, since you are ok while in kollel, but a learned need from your childhood  for constant stimulation? 

Have you ever considered something like meditation?

Hatzlacha

proudyungerman wrote on 27 Aug 2024 14:26:

Thank you for the welcome! There are definitely times when I'm hoping to come across some inappropriate stuff, but I don't believe that's the whole issue I've gone several months in the past without watching porn but to go a day without some sort of tech stimulation is pretty rare. I believe that I use it to fill some sort of void within me. The challenge for me is this- I'm currently still in kollel (in the process of looking for a job) so lets say i come home at the end of a day where a learnt well 3 full sedarim, davened well, spent time with wife and kids, theoretically I should feel fulfilled and just go to bed at a normal hour, but what happens is I need some time to relaaaaaax..... and that ends up putting a dark spot on an otherwise great day, the challenge of just going to sleep without watching anything is murder and thats where im failing

chosemyshem wrote on 27 Aug 2024 14:23:

Thank you for the warm welcom! That post from Chaims Oigen sums it up beautifully.

Hey Richtig, honestly i stopped masturbating because it made me feel horrible, at the same time i realized the high for me isn't the release, its the endless search for new material i haven't seen yet something exciting, that all usually ends after you ejaculate. 

Welcome to the GYE family!
So nice to have you posting here.

GYE is a place where you can break free!
Connecting with some of the great people here can be a tremendous help in taking that final step to freedom.
(If you're bold, I'd recommend reaching out to Hashem Help Me - HHM - who is the mentor-in-chief. (michelgelner@gmail.com)
e has helped hundreds, present company included.

A thought jumped out at to me as i was reading your post. Please ignore it if it doesn't speak to you.
It seems like you have something pushing you towards entertainment.
What is behind that?
Are you really just looking for inappropriate material and this is the way for you to get there "innocently"?
Or, is this really a push for something else? If so, what is it a push for?
Again, just food for thought...

KIT and KOMT!

Hey welcome! Great thread title.

You came to the right place. GYE is a community of people working together to beat this thing. And by "this thing" I mean whatever level of the struggle. We've got guys here all across the spectrum. From people who have never seen porn all the way to people who have acted out in ways that would probably give you an std from just thinking about it. 

It sounds like you've made tremendous progress on your own. That is truly impressive and you should pat yourself on the back for having come so far. 

Stick around and check out some of the excellent resources on the site. See the Flight to Freedom program to help you learn about your struggle and some powerful tools to help you fight, and the excellent book the Battle of the Generation to help you reframe the struggle as an opportunity. (Links are in my signature.) The most powerful resource is of course the chevra. Connect to friends, find a mentor, and keep on fighting.

I, and many guys here, can strongly relate to the slippery slope we fall into when using entertainment (check out this excellent post for one perspective). Filters are amazing and necessary, but not sufficient. I don't know what your general feelings on entertainment are, but for me, it feels like I can't use something that normal people can use since it inevitably leads me to places that I don't want to go to. Accepting that has been very helpful for me. 

Hatzlacha and keep on trucking!

Mr94 wrote on 27 Aug 2024 13:53:

Excellent start!
What has been helpful to you in stopping masturbation?
Stick around and get to know the good people here

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 27 Aug 2024 13:52:

I believe the forum isn't indexed on Google and results are from other areas of the site. I'm no absolutely nothing about this stuff though. It is completely true that the forum is open to the world. In fact, occasionally a random troll or predator actually makes an account on the forum just to harm people. It's a sad and scary world we live in.

That being said, it's literally an anonymous forum. We all share, and we all share safely omitting personal and identifying details. Trust me, there are literally thousands of bochurim struggling the exact same way you are and no one will know it's you unless you put your social security number up on here. Safety is important but so is connection and it's possible to do both.

If prefer to not share on the forum that's totally fine. You can reach out to some of the many amazing experienced mentors on the site such as Hashem Help Me (michelgelner@gmail.com) Eerie (1gimpelovitz@gmail.com) ChaimOigen (chaim.oigen@gmail.com) or Muttel (Muttel15@gmail.com or (908) 251-9590).

Honestly, and I know this is going to sound impossibly difficult, but the best person for you to talk to is likely your father. . .

Hey everybody first time posting here on the forum. For me I was first exposed to porn around the age of 11, back then there was no such thing as filters on internet so I pretty much had access whenever no one was around on my family’s computer or at a friends house. My obsession with computers, video games and watching go back as far as I can remember. As a kid I was always playing computer games, my parents would literally have to pry me off sometimes. As I got older it changed to binging YouTube for hours sometimes until 4 or 5 am, movies tv shows etc etc. The thing is that when you get bored of watching funny, interesting, you name it videos and movies you get kinda bored and that’s when I turn to porn for a little more excitement. Anyways that was my childhood/teenagehood. When I went to yeshiva it was only a bein hazmanim thing, until I was about 20 years old and all my buddies decided to get iPhones and iPod touches so I got one too and binged in yeshiva also. Long story short I got married and started working hard to use technology in a healthy way got filters on devices, I’ve cut out masturbation for over a year already, but I’m still plagued by this craving for entertainment which always somehow leads to inappropriate material. That’s where I’m holding today looking for chizuk, ideas anything helpful really.

Yes, I need help, but I'm not interested in posting about it on this forum, which is open to the whole world (-try googling 'guardyoureyes forum', see attached screenshot). Private messaging isn't working by me, and I'm trying to figure out how to fix that. Someone on the forum said I should email chaim@guardyoureyes.com, tried 2 days ago & didnt get a reponse. Any help in resolving this would be appreciated.

About my last post, I'm pretty sure this thread started,




I was responding to that.

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 26 Aug 2024 22:00:

Do you struggle with porn addiction? Are you looking for help?