Needtoclearmyhead wrote on 24 Aug 2017 16:58:

any one wants to give me more info/leads for research or guidelines?
To differentiate the normal from the crazy?

 I've been a drug addict since i was 15, and now I'm 35. i was sober and clean from drugs for 8 years. But this isnt the problem. (i mean, it is , but it isnt), it's just the mask for my real problem. sex addiction. or porn addiction. since i was 15, i was looking and watching porn on the internet, mainly same sex porn (M2M). I was covering this addiction with the substance addiction. 3 years into my substance and porn sobriety ( 1 year into my marriage) i slipped and started watching m2m porn again (while my new born daughter was sleeping in her crib  ). it wasn't so strong at the time because i would go months between looking. but then about 3 years ago i masturbated for the first time in almost 7 years, while i was on a live video chat with another person. since then I've been masturbating usually everyday. I cannot control myself. i am angrier, and have more of a temper than i did before. last year, i relapsed with my substance abuse. last week, my wife caught me with a substance, and i decided to stop the substances. its been very very very hard. but I'm pushing through. 2 nights ago i thought "Oh, ill just quickly look at that website again" then i slipped. then last night i slipped again. after i did it, i thought "What are you doing? why? " i need help through this right now. this morning i was crying and crying while i was driving to work, begging H' to help me. And then when i got home, i saw the ad for GYE.I'm very happy that I've found this site and all of you.

acceptance wrote on 31 Aug 2017 15:07:

Not for me. The core reason for my lust addiction is my lust addiction. I have a physical addiction to the dopamine rush that comes in when I take in lust. I will not stop until I get the serotonin overload that I crave. The serotonin sensors will be more and more dulled as I overload them and I will need a bigger thrill each time in order to satisfy myself.
Dealing with my emotions is integral to my recovery, but the main way I deal with them is I accept them and let them go. Feelings are overrated. I'm more focused on how I am doing rather than how I am feeling.
Will dealing with my emotions stop me from lusting and will it give me sobriety? No. I need to deal with the lust head on.

I am serious about my learning and davening, avoidas hashem in general. I have chavrusas, I work, as well as take some classes in accounting. i usually go a few weeks without relapsing, but when I do it usually takes a few hrs to get back to being myself. This addiction makes me feel very ashamed of myself for sinning and although I know I don't have the tools (up until now hopefully) i still feel inadequate or just embarrassed.  

Welcome!

I Know the french version but since 4 years there is no real activity on the forum or or a SA communauty it's not easy ; therefore I Côme here 

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha.

Welcome!

Theres a French version of the site here: 

guardyoureyes.com/french/

Hello every one

I am addicted for at least 20 years, I am 38 years old, have discovered GYE for 4 years but I think I barely begin to understand the first step. I am sober at D25 + 5 (fall to 25), I do not speak English fluently but have to make efforts. So, I hope I can be helped. There is no big help in France, but I have the chance to have someone who knows the 12 steps to help me; I think i just start to understand the first step, when I discovered GYE and the mails of Hizouk, I didn't want to recognize the truth; i thought it was not possible to live like that, with the constant pray to Hashem. But i was wrong; now, I always pray Hashem et speak to Him like a child. Is ti the good way ? I hope so. Sorry for my english. I will try to post here and to have help and discussion here because in France there is no group of 12 steps unfortunatelly.

Both types of friends can be helpful.  The more "real" the friendship, the better.  A friend on an online anonymous forum can help, but not nearly as much as if you called him on the phone, and not nearly as much as meeting in person.  The more real and stronger the connection, the better.  You may have a real life friend that you can talk to.  Perhaps a relative.  A rav or rebbi.  The more real the relationship, the better.

I am actually not in SA i'm in EA (emotions Anonymous). I apologies for not being clear.
EA is what I meant by learning and doing the 12 steps. In EA instead of focusing on the specific form of acting out, we focus on the emotion that makes you feel like acting out. we have all kinds of addicts (alcoholics, substance abuse,lust etc) in EA and it seems to work for us to help us regulate our emotions and to live life on G-ds terms and hence not feel the need to control how I feel by acting out.. 
Bty have read rabbi Shais Taubs book G-d of our understanding? Its a winner! It can really help you understand who you are and why you do what you do.

Good luck

Good point.
I am actually not in SA i'm in EA (emotions Anonymous). I apologies for not being clear.
EA is what I meant by learning and doing the 12 steps. In EA instead of focusing on the specific form of acting out, we focus on the emotion that makes you feel like acting out. we have all kinds of addicts (alcoholics, substance abuse,lust etc) in EA and it seems to work for us to help us regulate our emotions and to live life on G-ds terms and hence not feel the need to control how I feel by acting out.. 
Bty have read rabbi Shais Taubs book G-d of our understanding? Its a winner! It can really help you understand who you are and why you do what you do.

Good luck

Thank you:)  like in person or on here?

cordnoy wrote on 28 Aug 2017 19:07:

And how refreshing and exciting are your words. For if we but follow through properly we can learn to truly "live". Sounds a lot more appealing than merely "surviving".

I want to "live".

Welcome numis. Iyh you should have a lot of hatzlocha. Keep posting and using the various GYE tools. If you are comfortable, speaking to someone can be very helpful.