Hey jol 
There is no finish line - 90 is just a "siman to see if your addicted" or something like that. idk. 
The main thing is to focus and retain joy of life that should help.

JoyOfLife wrote on 29 Jul 2018 11:45:

It's super important, that's the point.

Agreed that I don't learn how to deal with unfiltered internet which is the main reason why I hang out here in the first place (take a look at my first post). Despite that I think my filter is super important to stop me. Lately I've been questioning whether I fall into the category of an addict at all since I most definitely did fall into that category but the more time passes the more it seems to be a smaller issue. Perhaps its because I am forced not to act out it creates the change - chitzoniyus meiros es hapnimius? As far as gye goes, with this private chat thing down we don't know what will happen

ManWhoStumbles wrote on 27 Jul 2018 23:51:

Ok. You hit it out of the park.

Now you sound motivated. Now you need a plan to deal with your urges, because when you have an urge you may quickly forget about the list.

Have you read about some methods that you like? For example, can you call people on the phone?

Also: any methods that are absolutely out of your reach? You sound like in-person meetings are out of your reach.

Perhaps for the internet filtering problem you could buy a network appliance that plugs between your wifi access point and your internet router. This is how companies filter internet, they don't install filtering software on every machine. This solution could work well for you because you have a lot of machines at home.

lionking wrote on 27 Jul 2018 22:52:

Good for you.

You just need to attack your sex addiction then.

Right now I am doing something I found on wikihow because I don't know what else to solve this addiction. 
Here are some positive things in my life that will happen if I don't watch porn or mzl.
1) I will feel proud of myself for quitting.
2) I will be on the wall of honor on gye.
3) I will be able to feel superior to an animal. 
4) I can move on to other issues in my life. 
5) Pleasure will no longer be on demand; it will be earned. This might lead to me being a more diligent worker.
6)More time for Torah.
To be continued since Shabbos is coming...............................

Went in too free fall the last two days, after a week clean. I meant to post something but it didn't go through. It is impossible for me to filter my internet since I live with my family and there several chromebooks lying around. I am not sure what to do at this point.
Here is a list of reasons I don't want to watch porn and mzl: ( some are repetitious)
1) I don't want to be punished as severely in Gehinom. 
2) I don't want my family to be punished or ancestors for my sins.
3) Porn is degrading to woman.
4) I want to have control over my temptations, and be better than an animal
5)I have female relatives, and it disgusts me what I am doing.
6) After I watch porn, I have trouble looking people in the eye since I feel ashamed.
7) After watching porn, I can't concentrate on work.
8) Porn and mzl makes me feel terrible.
9) I get angry at myself after porn and mzl.
10) I feel like a hypocrite when being Chazan in shul or getting Aliyah.
11) By watching a porn video, I am funding more porn sites, since the ads pay pornsites per viewer. 
12) I am feeding an addiction with porn and mzl.
13) I sometimes binge eat after watching porn and mzl.
14) Porn and mzl are big wastes of time. 
15) I waste time trying to fight porn and mzl by going on gye, when I could learn torah or other Mitzvot.
16) I am stealing my body from hashem when I do MZL.
17) I fear that G-d will punish me in this world for porn and MZL.
18) I am social recluse, and I think porn has to do with it. 

thenewme072218 wrote on 27 Jul 2018 22:02:

You may well be right that you are stuck with the underlying condition, but lots of people have found a way to feel free and to stop acting out for the long term. And some of them hang out on this forum. So take heart because today can be the beginning of the end.

Here goes...
I have been struggling with an addiction to pornography and impure thoughts for 40 years now, but I'm only 46 years old. In my youth it was just thoughts, but as I got older I needed to act out these thoughts, and then more and more. The internet is a great tool for me and for many, but for me, it only fueled the fire of my addiction because now I was completely anonymous. I could access the fuel for my obsession, anywhere, anytime and no one the wiser, except me and my creator of course. I have confessed my regret and committed to make teshuvah time and again, only to fail miserably. I have almost come to the decision many times that I will be doomed with this affliction forever, but I still have hope that I can be freed. This is basically my last hope. I just can't do this anymore. 

cordnoy wrote on 27 Jul 2018 19:01:

Yep. One can live with addiction, but someone who is clinically depressed sometimes doesn't go on living at all. Since obviously most people don't know this, people who know have to say it.

But the prognosis for depression is excellent. For that there is a cure.

lionking wrote on 27 Jul 2018 12:39:

It took me a while to figure out who you were. You are the depressed guy. My heart goes out to you.

If you are clinically depressed for reasons other than your acting out I don't think you can muster up the motivation to get clean.

I don't remember if you have a therapist for your depression or not. If you don't that could be something to try. Then in six months when your depression's gone you can attack your sex addiction.

But it's also possible that you are depressed because you are acting out. You could try in person meetings and see if it helps.

tiefster88 wrote on 27 Jul 2018 12:12:

And he'd be right because that's not what cured him.

First of all he wasn't cured because without his new behaviors (like interacting with other alkies) he'd go right back to drinking. It's a treatment, not a cure.

Secondly G-d doesn't do the behaviors for him. He's the one that does the interacting. The doctor just didn't understand the logic: why do the new behaviors help you?

Frankly the doctor probably studied Freud et al who advanced theories of psychology that were really conjectures, they were not based on experiment.

I think G-d did relate to Bill differently as a result of his new behaviors, but in other ways. Sobriety wasn't one of them. I think you can see this in the nazirite. It says the nazirite is special to G-d in some ways.

I assume Bill was just worried that perhaps C"V he was going psychotic or something. There had been a big change in him, compared to the way he was before. That't probably why he wanted to speak to a psychiatrist. To reassure him that he was not going insane.

The doctor reassured him that anything was better that the way he was and I assume that he was not going insane, because he would have said so otherwise.

​But the psychiatrist probably couldn't understand it because it doesn't make sense according to science that a person could get cured of a terrible chronic addiction by just forming a relationship with G-d and taking the idea to other people. 

Ftndrug wrote on 27 Jul 2018 09:46:

Not sure what the word "cured" means, but can one live life again? Unequivocally yes!

Ftndrug wrote on 27 Jul 2018 09:46:

Meaning something you've been doing as part of the training but you don't realize you are doing it because it seems unimportant, only you would know what it might be.

As far as I know there is no cure. It's not like a phobia, where exposure to the thing you are afraid will dispel the phobia forever.

There are treatments, which are really cultural changes (in response to A always do B,) but no cure.