Absolutely! I've been told that EVERY time I feel like acting out it's because something is bothering me. I have not quite reached that recognition & still believe that sometimes it is plain ol' lust; but it's definitely true that when I am bothered by any of the things you mentioned that I feel like escaping to the land of masturbation, even if not necessarily for lust-purposes. I also find that lust-hits are magnified hundreds of times over when I'm particularly stressed by something. (- like sitting too long in this quarantine losing my marbles!).
Just knowing that it's a תוצאה of the stress usually helps me pass it, telling myself that it won't really be as awesome as I think it will be, that it's just my stressed-out addict-brain kvetching to me.
Keep it up, you're an inspiration to many of us here!

Do you ever have one of those days where you don't feel the lust to do it, just overwhelmed with things in general and you want to resort to that (former) favorite form of comfort and solace, that comfortable feeling of 'taking care of business' before you return to the real world?

The addiction definitely has a strong aspect of lust, but is also clearly a coping mechanism to deal with anger, stress, boredom, anxiety, fear etc. when there is no lust triggering it.

B'H I didn't give in.  I'm leaving the last opportunity for a hard fall today right now.  Tomorrow is a new day, hopefully with fewer challenges.

19 days clean, my best result in more than 6 months, what a great blessing!

I've been listening to The Fight yesterday, the episode about marriage. It was really good and gave me another big perspective on this addiction, healing process and how to become a better (and happier) person. I've also heard some really powerful techniques there, I think I need to listen that again in a while, note them down and work strong on applying them. If you're married like me I strongly suggest to listen to it.

Also yesterday I had unusually strong urges (maybe I'm entering another phase of the healing process after ~3 weeks? I have only been clean for that amount a handful of times - can you give me some tips?). Anyway, here's what happened: I stayed late to work on something and before I went to bed I started checking my mobile phone and peeked on improper sites. It didn't went too far, but obviously only ignited the whole process within me. Today at work, I started to think about it and... peeked again, longer this time. I am getting a little concerned now. I suspect that I will face a big battle this night and probably more in the next few days. Brothers, warriors, please pray for me. I pledged to myself to read the forum this evening. If you could write something to strengthen me, even a few words of encouragement or support, I will greatly appreciate it. I really don't want to fall again. Stay strong.

Many guys report (myself included) having preliminarily becoming "addicted" to GYE. Let me reassure you that it is relatively temporary. Yes, GYE participation sort of replaces pornography, by giving an escape bubble to enter when the day was too stressful. One enters an anonymous world with pretty constant activity - at almost every time of day due to participants from most time zones. This excites them and creates a drive to frequently check for new posts, and see how many thank you's were received. However there are differences. One - many of us do reveal our identities to others, so it enters reality. Two - most chevra are searching very much for some sort of tikun and now for the first time they are using Internet to do good - to stay clean, and help others stay clean. This drive is healthy. And three - the good news is that as exciting as GYE can get, it will simply never be able to hypnotize the viewer in the way that "other things" do. So eventually, usage normalizes to a little here and there when one has some time. All in all, it is a healthy transitioning method to move away from improper viewing.  

YeshivaGuy wrote on 20 Dec 2020 03:18:

I am not Maskim. I do think the writer(wonder if he is even still on GYE?)came across a little strong. The concept though is actually the very first Halacha in Orach Chaim. The Shulchan Aruch and the Pirushim  discusses the concept over there. In a certain way this can actually be a shortcut over all the methods and ideas that we all discuss and ponder daily. However, as willnevergiveup said it is easier said than done. Sometimes the simplest and most basic concepts of life and Yiddishkeit are the what just need reinforcement.
(I am not referring to someone that is already genuinely addicted as that is a very different and above my pay grade).

Hey Sheva Yipol!

I think the most important thing is not losing focus on your success! What a trick by the y''h to make you think that 110 days being clean is not a big deal, and something else is the "real" problem. You are a much healthier person and have so many more years ahead of you to continue working on time management and leading an, EVEN MORE, productive life. 

You chose your name for a reason, and it doesn't say "echad" yipol v'kam. Maybe until now you thought it was talking about falling seven times for one challenge, but the truth is that it is just as true regarding seven different challenges. After you have successfully risen over one thing, now you have the opportunity to move on to the next. In your case, this would be stopping to watch TV and Movies in an unhealthy way. Sheva Yipol TZADIK V'kam. Just working on something to try and grow is putitng you in the category of tzadik!

Maybe a practical suggestion - You should think really hard about what you want to more productive about and why? Until you have something to replace it with, you will be invariably busy with TV and Movies because no one wants to be bored. It is also really hard to replace it with something more productive unless you truly believe in it.  

Want to add more quality family time? Think about why that is important and how you can build generations! 

Want to add more learning time? Think about the eternity you will be creating for yourself!

Want to add more productive time for business? Think about whether that would allow you to do more good in this work and provide for your family! (This one you need to be careful with as can also become and unhealthy addiction.) 

I personally grew up with lots of TV and movies and can relate to the struggle. It took me many years to give it up, but I feel so free by not spending my time on entertainment. It is a choice and I understand why you feel it isn't the right decision to give it up completely. 

Don't despair and keep plowing! You can definitely utilize these forums for this challenge and we all want to see you succeed! 

I used to believe in the same lie for a while. It's one of the great illusions of this addiction. Each time you look, you're speeding up the whole subconscious process in your brain. Your neurons on that strong path, that you took too many times, keeps firing like crazy. You brain may later need many days to recover from it and stop sending you images in your head. Resisting does gets easier in time, but I can speak from experience - whenever I peek, regardless of how many days I'm clean, I have much harder battles ahead. Do yourself a favor here and don't fool yourself.
Look at the wisdom from tool 1, when I realized that I've been deceiving myself here, it helped me a lot:


You may try what I sometimes do: next time you feel you need to look, only for a tiny second, leave your device immediately, stand in front of a mirror, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and then look yourself in the eye and say: it's only an illusion, following it will lead me to pain, I refuse to follow it.

Oh and by the way: you're 15 days clean, that's a really great result & congratulations on level 4! I'm standing next to you with the same result. Keep up the battle, great warrior, I'm praying for you today.

15 days clean, just 3 more to reach best in 6 months for me. 
It feels amazing, I have much more peace and clarity, I'm more focused on present. Temptations happen as usual, but it indeed seems a bit easier to discard them. This year ends really well for me. I wish you all and myself to stay on the good path and stay strong in this battle. Even though it may sometimes seem that one more clean day isn't much, remember to multiply this by all fierce warriors here and imagine all the good that comes out of it. The stronger each of us is, the more support he can give to others. Notice how this battle is not only about beating one addiction, to truly win it we must become better human beings. Cleaner in heart and mind, more altruistic, sensitive to do good. Each day, each hour clean, each bad thought repelled is another brick for the great monument of good. Together we are changing the world around us.

eyes, what you did, your altruistic gesture, it's truly amazing and inspiring. The fact that you suffer lots of pain to save someone else's life is the purest form of love that I can imagine. I pray for you and think of you often. May G-d gives you many blessings.  

Wolskzion wrote on 31 Dec 2020 01:51:

Sounds tough! I too have an android. Gentech is perfect. 

Hi everyone,
I have an Android that I have been trying unsuccessfully to get filtered. I am finding myself thinking about doing forbidden things I will probably regret because of a lack of real things in my life. Few real relationships and currently out of work. Feeling weak spiritually and far from Hashem. This is a recipe for addiction. I don't have a solution

withgdthereshope wrote on 30 Dec 2020 01:45:

And I'm the therapist lol. Just comes to show how different it is viewing myself compared to others. But even without this idea I've been to years of therapy and this is the first time this point has really been addressed.

I finally realized that I have never allowed myself to feel discomfort and used everything at my disposal to make sure I'll never have to feel it. This addiction was one of my strongest tools. This realization has changed my life over the past two weeks. 
I think we really have to get to the bottom of what we are escaping and recognize how to deal with that because it can change everything.

Refua sheleima

Wow haven't looked at this topic in a while. I used to take myself so seriously lol.
My wife nebach has corona, she's quite sick & nauseous & dizzy & headachey...
So farshtaytzach I'm not going to complain about quarantine, that I get to quit my day job & try my hand at being mommy, Rebbe, Morah, Doctor & cleaning lady.
Just reflecting how this would have been disastrous way back in the olden days before the creator very graciously granted me a program of recovery & the freedom it comes with.
I get to spend time with my kids, concentrate on appreciating & enjoying the time with them.
I can try to be there for my wife in her time of pain, I can miraculously hear out her complaints and not feel the need to escape to my fantasyland.
I can stay up till the wee hours of the morning, alone on my computer, working on my new business the Eibishter gave me - without the drive to surf the net and find whatever gets through my filter.
Hashem, thank you. Thanks for leading me to this site, for leading me to SA, for leading me to life.
Please grant me another day of freedom, of sanity & connection to You.

Hi all,

I am a recently married guy in my mid-20s and I have struggled since I was 13. A couple of weeks ago I admitted my problem to someone else (my therapist) for the first time, and today he suggested several steps I could take, including joining a community for support, so here I am!

Besides the halachic and marriage-related reasons to go on this journey, I have also experienced a lot of mental distress that is likely tied to my struggle. I hope that I can free myself from this addiction and grow as a Jew and as a person.