AziG wrote on 09 Dec 2021 20:10:

Welcome!
We are all here for you as a group. 
You can start posting often about your struggles and successes. We are very eager to celebrate your wins together! 

Shalom everyone, I am Azariah. Since I was roughly 14 I have been struggling with a porn addiction. I have been in denial about this for nearly 20 years and until recently, my marriage has been affected. I think that the best way to overcome this is to understand where it began.
I believe that having a support group will give me strength and more importantly having someone to be able to talk to when I am feeling weak.
If anyone is willing to accept that role with me, please let me know. I have been dealing with depression because of this issue. As an orthodox Jew, this is something that will garner support from another like-minded Jew.

benny57 wrote on 08 Dec 2021 16:39:


This is mentioned many times but I'll mention it again....
CONNECT with someone (or with a group) in real life.
The opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it's CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Find someone that you can share your pain and struggles with. And finally, have someone who can cheer you on and celebrate your both big and small wins with you!



It's also very important to remember that ultimately, only Hashem can overcome the addiction for us. As Chazal say: “If Hashem doesn’t help him, he cannot overcome him” (the Yetzer Hara). But, in order for Hashem to fight for us, we need to know that we can’t do it alone, and we need to reconnect with Hashem in a very fundamental way and learn a complete dependency on Him; much as a one day old baby depends on its mother.

omoH wrote on 07 Dec 2021 13:23:

So choose someone from GYE to be open with. And for the record, many many great and awesome guys struggle....

hey still clean BH! and its day 16! the first week was easy but the last week some thoughts have been creeping up on me but i made it! still having a hard time opening up to anyone about my addiction for a few reasons but probably mostly because everyone around my thinks i am so great (i am pretty awesome!) and i don't think they can handle what i will tell them so for now i am going to try to post here and be involved with GYE 

We’re super excited to announce that the long awaited FLIGHT TO FREEDOM course is finally available for current GYE members.

For the past 3 years, GYE’s R&D team has sifted through mountains of brain science research relating to addiction and behavior change, as well as all recovery programs and dozens of books on the topic, in order to develop the GYE FLIGHT TO FREEDOM.

This revolutionary multi-layered program contains a rich collection of evidence-based Torah-aligned tools to help you reach long term recovery. 

The FLIGHT TO FREEDOM course is designed for people who are serious about recovery from porn and masturbation, and are willing to devote about two hours a week, for the next 9 weeks.

We need your feedback to be able to continue improving the course and the lives of the GYE members.
https://f2f.guardyoureyes.org/

We’re super excited to announce that the long awaited FLIGHT TO FREEDOM course is finally available for current GYE members.

For the past 3 years, GYE’s R&D team has sifted through mountains of brain science research relating to addiction and behavior change, as well as all recovery programs and dozens of books on the topic, in order to develop the GYE FLIGHT TO FREEDOM.

This revolutionary multi-layered program contains a rich collection of evidence-based Torah-aligned tools to help you reach long term recovery. 

The FLIGHT TO FREEDOM course is designed for people who are serious about recovery from porn and masturbation, and are willing to devote about two hours a week, for the next 9 weeks.

We need your feedback to be able to continue improving the course and the lives of the GYE members.
https://f2f.guardyoureyes.org/

Rabbi A J Twerski Writes:
"the aphorism “shikker vi a goy” (drunk as a gentile) is no longer valid, but I suspect that in earlier days, the opprobrium of shikker was so intense that it suppressed addictive use of alcohol. There were a few drunkards who were social outcasts. Alcoholism as we know it — i.e., functioning alcoholics — may have existed in greater numbers, but this too was concealed. Obviously the incidence of excessive drinking among Jews has increased. As recently as fifty years ago, country clubs did not take on Jewish weddings or bar mitzvahs, because they make their money on alcohol rather than on food. Today they actively solicit Jewish events."

good person wrote on 18 Mar 2021 18:08:

they had last week 11/18 another artical from the same topic Alcohol Addiction, i read it from cover to cover!

Welcome...
​If I may give a suggestion: please connect with a real person to help you in this journey.  We have some great people on GYE or you can connect with a trusted friend/rebbi etc. 
As they say "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection."
Hashem should be with you...

Medical and psychological professionals generally identify addictions and compulsions to repeat a pleasurable activity based on the following three criteria:

1. Preoccupation to the point of obsession with the substance or behavior of choice.

2. Loss of control over use of the substance or behavior, typically evidenced by failed attempts to quit or cut back.

3. Directly related negative consequences—relationship problems, trouble at work or in school, declining physical health, depression, anxiety, shame, isolation, financial issues, legal trouble, etc.

Hey everyone,
Thank you for all your replies.
It seems a rule I can take out of it; if your an addict don't date or be very very careful.
Now the question is; what's an addict. I have gone a year clean before but a week ago I felt like a slave to myself. I am normal, for the most part. My mind is not always on it. I have urges and after a fall the urges are greater than when I was clean for 80+ days. I become depressed when I think about all my sins but on the surface I try not to show it. Not that I want to fool anyone its just that they cannot help me and its not their business. Nor do they need a sad face. So I am just going on and ranting but the question is what's an addiction. I have not been able to fully stop but I have it fettered and under control and when it does get out it is very ugly and I am not the same for a few days.
Anyone, your thoughts?
Thanks,
onthewayup
A week clean

Addiction usually follows a destructive cycle in which when acting out you behave in a harmful way towards yourself and potentially others. This then leads to feelings of guilt and shame, which you only feel able to deal with if you act out again, leading to the same behavior and so completing the vicious circle.

Feelings of guilt and shame are very common in people with addictions. Although these are unpleasant emotions, they’re actually a key step in your recovery, as they signal that you are starting to accept that you have a problem. Recognizing that you are behaving in ways that you wouldn’t if you didn’t have this dependency is the first step to getting help.

Why are you apologizing for sharing your frustrations? Keep doing it. It will iyh help keep you clean. As an aside, exercize is a much better thing to get "addicted" to as opposed to vaping or the stuff we talk about here.....

It started when I was like 13 I began watching ever since then I was hooked. I’ve spent countless hours of my life indulging in acting out. Now I’m 21. I only found out I was addicted this past peasach I heard someone talking about sex addiction and I looked into to it to see what it consisted of. To my surprise I diagnosed myself almost an addict bc mine was only porn and masturbation but not actuall inyunim. So I decided I won’t turn into an addict and quit watching even though I had filters I knew how to get around it. I stopped fantasizing even clean stuff and tried to guard my eyes. It lasted like a bit over 2 months. Then I fell but didn’t give up until I fell again. Then I made myself a promise that closer to dating I will contact a therapist and deal without privately without anyone knowing including my parents even my closest friends. Or I will have to just keep it a secret for the rest of my life. And sometimes I would act out daily for weeks or maybe I would push it off for a week but I always got back into it. And I would celebrate if I acted out not even watching porn to show myself I can live without porn. Also every time I found a loophole it would take me a few weeks but I would ask my friend to put in my filter code and add in the new website. (The way I new I was addicted was every time I would somehow manage to find a new way around my filter every time I needed. Also I used to walk around for hours on the streets where there were prostitutes to get offered B”H I never gave into them but spent countless hours roaming the streets ditching events and other things so I could have more time roaming the streets. But for the 2 months I was clean I didn’t even feel the urge to go out. I felt like I was forced to pace the streets for hours I really didn’t want to.) Eventually I came across GYE fundraising add wich leaded me to the site. I just read the testimonials advertised and I felt a relief. These people are in much worse shape then me and they turned their life around so can I. I watched the videos of Rabbi Twerski saying the only way to get over it is to use GYE otherwise you cannot over come it. So after a bit I found a browser (which didn’t override my filter) I could use so won’t show on my history made a new email and sighted up. To my surprise the confirm your email page was blocked so it took we a few weeks to build up the courage to ask my friend who runs my filter to unlock for a sec “my mother sent me a link I need you to open for a min” quickly put in the link on my allowed websites and phew. I quickly started a 90 day challenge and kept reading the forums and stories to show if they were in worse shape and turned it around so can I. But 2 weeks in I was alone in my room in my bed and decided to check a website that I only found out you can view porn through it on the forum (not pointing any fingers). I watched but didn’t masterbate. But it was still considered a fall so I clicked off fall on my 90 day chart. The next day I fell completely the whole 9 yards.  So I  blocked it and ready to start over keep the momentum . And when I was in my bed alone the other night I acted out without watching. Then I decided I need to write on the forum as it’s recommended it the fall emails. I DO NOT feel comfortable bringing it up to anyone I don’t feel that close to anyone even my closest friends.