jackthejew wrote on 13 Feb 2022 08:08:

I have a lot to say on this, but no time right now.
Those who can't stop actin' out on their urges become addicted.

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 13 Feb 2022 15:12:

Keep in mind our whole Fight is stemming from our thoughts. So we gotta figure out what causes us to think things. for you it might be partially the constant thought of marriage. Thoughts often stem from what we see and hear.. and of course the actions we do. So we see people married and we want the same so that gets us on a roll. It’s important to understand the thoughts that are triggers.. and the best if we can understand what triggers the thoughts often it’s something we see or do that can be reduced. But don’t overthink :-) that’s a problem too! 

Bochurke wrote on 13 Feb 2022 04:15:

Welcome! Hang out here and you’ll find lots of successful tips from the chevrah here! 
How about starting from here.. take a paper and write down all the contributing things that you feel are making the battle so intense for you? 
perhaps things like..
1.gazing in the street. 
2.thinking certain thoughts without seeing anything recently  
3.looking at different things. 
4. Looking around at weddings. 
(Everyone has a whole big bunch of contributing factors) 
It’ll be helpful because once you have everything
down you can know where to start and what to add and what to reduce to make your journey easier! 

Bochurke wrote on 13 Feb 2022 04:15:

According to Dov, 95% of GYE aren't addicts. We're just dealing with urges.

Bh I’m not an addict it’s just the simple urges just kill me

sleepy wrote on 11 Feb 2022 16:23:

I very clearly didn’t suggest you or anyone else do that . All the best 

Sometimes we forget and we thinking lusting in porn is the same as lusting in other areas.. so once we fall we might as well “do it right”. Here are some things to remember,

• porn is very erotic which means it makes your brain go the way more intense route which means your brain gets used to a more extreme Version of pleasure. Which means other natural stuff that generally should be satisfying isn’t. intimacy and all that is left behind and not possible to achieve and feel and get lasting pleasure from! Which means flashbacks are more intense. Your journey to break-free is more intense.
• It’s proven on the internet that hardcore porn is so much more addictive then soft core porn. (They give an analogy hardcore- heroin. soft core - cocaine)the addictions are much stronger when it’s more erotic and graphic. The way it tackles the brain is stronger. So it’s obvious the more serious stuff we watch the more it’ll harm us. And the less graphic we watch the easier it is to break free!

First of all Thank you @shtarkandemotional, thats a nice comment. Your a good person.

So here I am @day 40. This is really significant to me, 40 days is what the torah considers 'Breaking a middah".

I have found that other addictive behaviors I have, namely computer addiction has the same affect on me as masturbation did. It makes me feel so shameful that I have no control. So just pointing out that as I see success in 1 area I'm noticing failures in others. (which is a good thing, in the past I didn't connect my shameful feelings to my addictive behavior)

But a big thing to point out here, is that in the past, my feeling shameful about other addictions and behaviors has led me to phone sex and masturbation [or porn when I have access] to escape from those feelings. (Which obviously led to even worse feelings of shame).

Over the past 40 days-thank god I've not gone there. Thank you everyone for all the support! 

On to 90
Good Shabbos. Love, Hugs and more love. Good luck with everyone to get some good rest and some good cholent.

I assume it has good stuff!
However as you well know, tens and possibly hundreds of friends on GYE can tell you, this man I believe single-handedly has helped countless fellows via the most successful tool on GYE which is reaching out and connection!

Reading his blogs can be helpful, But it does not do justice to him or to the hundreds that can be helped with his kind tone and direct guidance. 

It’s about time you put out something like this;
NEW F2F PROGRAM
‏Mentors Are Ready to help at no charge!
For Addicts email Dov…
For Non-Addicts email HHM…
The mentor will reply and is happy to chat with you over the phone at your convenience

Hi, I'm the author of flying-eagle-method.org/ that was previously posted.  I quit using easy peasy, but it is terribly written and I wanted to rewrite it.

I read the original Allen Carr smoking book and studied his videos.  I also read "Dopamine Nation" for more about the science of addiction.

FE is shorter, clearer, more science about dopamine, and doesn't talk about "monsters" like easy peasy.  It also doesn't say that porn "has no pleasure", but explains the desensitization.  Did you know that even your sense of taste -- which uses dopamine -- can get dulled?  (It also avoids copyright infringement, I wrote it from scratch, and it is copyrighted by me.)

In my opinion (and also a few data points), FE method obsoletes easy peasy.  If FE doesn't "click" for someone, I highly doubt easy peasy will.  Unfortunately, I estimate FE only clicks with about 1 in 8 people.  Logical people like accountants, engineers, programmers. I would love it if a university would run a 3 month trial to get precise numbers!

Note that Allen Carr smoking method only works with 19% of people after 6 months.

PS I'm not Jewish but Ecclesiastes is my favorite book of the bible...

Hi sleepy,

What causes stimulation to your brain is not only the cheftzah (what exactly you are seeing), but the gavrah (how it is affecting you). If you are a doctor, or a kohen checking for tzara'as, it can be okay to see something and not get affected, while for someone else it would be very stimulating. 

The reason why the term "porn" is used so often is al derech דיבר הכתוב בהווה - not because only specific content is addictive, but because it's a common example. All the reasons why porn is addictive can also apply to other types of provocative arousing content. In other words, if you're often looking for new arousing content, and it stimulates you, and it feels compulsive, it doesn't matter much what "label" the content has.

sleepy wrote on 08 Feb 2022 01:44:

How do you know?

Some people are hesitant to read 100 pages (gasp!)  that might end the addiction that caused them to come on this site in the first place. Understandable! Jack Trimpey (Rational Recovery) would say that your Addiction Voice doesn't want you to read the book, because It Knows that doing so might end your addiction, spelling its demise.

One way around this is just to listen to the book while going for a walk or on your commute. It's much more passive. Additionally, porn users should remember that you do not have to stop using before reading the book! So reading does not mean that you are stopping porn usage. Feel free to enjoy your sweet, sweet porn while reading the book. Some people have reported reading a page a day...that's alright!

Another way is to read the notes that someone put out on the book at this website: flying-eagle-method.org/

I've read it. It's ok, and is a good review for someone who's read the book. It's alright as an intro to some concepts in the book. It's also not a substitute for reading the book in that it's just not as deep or as thorough. But it's certainly better than doing nothing. 

From the GYE Wiki:

• When I am in the street and I see something, I know that I need to find something else to look at immediately, no questions asked. Then when the urge comes to have a second look I try to take a few deep breaths and think about what will happen if I don't look again. It's sometimes hard to look away but I won't have to look at the sidewalk forever, as with most things, gam zeh ya'avor. This is not very difficult when I am strong, but when I am in a lustful state or feeling down emotionally it's very difficult to put up the fight. When I am seeking, and then I see something, it's like "mazal tov I can now feed this monster..." obviously makes it that much harder to look away. For this the only thing that works for me is to decide before I go out that even though I am not feeling my best, this is yehoreg v'al ya'avor, this takes priority. It doesn't always work but nothing else has worked better. #wilnevergiveup[2]
• There is a saying here. The first look is on G-d the second look is on you. #Hakolhevel[3]
• As for walking in the street, I'v found if you ignore and dont linger on a sight, it cant control you. If you're in a pretty bad part of the neighborhood (e.x. Manhattan) then try to walk looking down, yeah yeah "I look so stupid", "that's not for me, thats for the big Gedolim". Say whatever you want but it works #Meyer M.[4]
• The eyes and mind are the two most important filters there are. Yes, you will see attractive women and some of the time they will be dressed immodestly, but it's how you react that will make all the difference. As addicts, we tend to fixate on things we shouldn't, we tend to think that if we look away we might be missing out on something... but the truth is there is no real enjoyment to be had from this filth! The sooner I realized that and the more clearer that has become, the better and longer I've remained sober. #Haleivi76

Torah22 wrote on 06 Feb 2022 12:58:

You must must must check out The Battle of the Generation, especially Appendix A in the back. Download it from the link below in my signature