duck_dopp wrote on 28 Mar 2022 02:05:

Buddy, what's hurting you today? 
Seems that you don't really have questions just terutzim... 

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 28 Mar 2022 04:55:

I'd seen the signs in shuls before, and read articles about GYE. The overiding thing that kept me from joining was the wording that made it seem like it's only for addicts

duck_dopp wrote on 28 Mar 2022 02:05:

My drug of choice is porn. 

Sounds like yours is Russian Vodka, seriously. 
What’s your point?

First, it's an addiction.
Then, it's a disease.
Then, it's not an actual disease, but rather a spiritual disease.

Which one is it? Where's the evidence? What even is a "spiritual" disease?

Claptrap. Malarky. Shtuyot.

It's just cult jibber-jabber.

bisyata dishmaya wrote on 27 Mar 2022 18:43:

I wholeheartedly agree. I held back from going on GYE for YEARS, because I thought it was only for addicts. I finally joined when I convinced myself I might be an addict, and then basically found out I'm probably not an addict, but that I have a wonderful, accepting, and helpful place in GYE anyways.

We need a lot more advertising. Advertising that doesn't make it seem GYE is just for hardcore addicts. We also need more respected people to praise GYE openly as much as possible. Finally something needs to be done about people struggling with inappropriate stuff not on the internet so their access to GYE is limited besides for the hotline which needs to be advertised in the same manner I mentioned before. 

Bilaam Harasha to Yosef Hatzaddik wrote on 27 Mar 2022 02:28:

Hey man, "Taphsic" may or may not work but it's sure not a first line of defense. 

Try some of the other tools first, try thinks like making goals, urge management, distraction, value direction sheets, CBA's and so on. 

Unless you like giving away free money or doing pushups.

Bilaam Harasha to Yosef Hatzaddik wrote on 27 Mar 2022 02:28:

Bilaam Harasha to Yosef Hatzaddik, these are nice suggestions, however they don’t seem to work for everyone. 

How about sharing what works for you!

What means “works”? Start with the stuff that keep you clean 45+ days…

Thats often more helpful for others to hear. 

Shalom E wrote on 25 Mar 2022 21:38:

Welcome! You actually seem to be doing very good! Keep it up!
Accidents can always happen and they are out of our control and we will not be punished for them, the main thing is how quickly we pick ourselves up and continue being strong and clean. 

One of the tips that has helped many people is to take the struggle only “one day at a time.” Try never to focus on the future or wonder how we will manage. We must learn to live in the present only, focusing on staying "clean" or "sober" right NOW. When we focus on the future, we can easily fall. It’s like someone walking a tightrope; if he looks down, it becomes so much harder not to fall. Therefore, when feeling weak we can tell ourselves, “just for today, I will stay clean.” “Just for this moment, I will stay clean.” The past and the future are out of our hands and belong only to Hashem. When we feel that we are about to fall, we may even tell ourselves that we reserve the right to act out tomorrow. We are not making a decision now for life. However, just for today we will do whatever we can to stay clean.

5Uu80*cdwB#^ wrote on 27 Mar 2022 01:18:

Thank you for that Incredible post! 
clarity is the foundation of everything..
some things to start thinking about.. 
1. what brings you on this forum altogether? Doesn’t it show there’s a part of you that hates this stuff perhaps it’s just dull a bit for several reasons? 
2. constantly think about how life is once! What do you want to make of it? Is doing this stuff bringing you closer to that goal? 

I can give a few suggestions that might help you. On GYE there’s a method explained in detail called the Taphsic method which basically uses nedarim to help you break free. Here’s the link to it here, check it out: https://guardyoureyes.com/tools/taphsic-method
It’s a really good method to use for a few a reasons, if you take the nedarim responsibly, you’ll see that even though normally one would’ve given in to the urge right away, you can wait up until the vow expires and by then the urges will be gone. This is something called “urge surfing”, it’s talked about in the new self paced program GYE launched, Flight to Freedom. To sum it up, there’s been studies done that show when it comes to addictive behaviors that urges will seem big in the beginning and would seem like they will be getting bigger, but as a general trend, the urges will get weaker and weaker the more you hold off from engaging in them. Sometimes though this isn’t exactly the case with p and m, many people here on GYE report that things seemed to go smoothly, with relatively tolerable urges, for the first couple of days and after that time they were hit with much bigger urges. It’s being able to get past that initial point that you’ll see the urges get more “easier” to deal with. I recommend you check out the self paced program for more details and for all the other great information it has because it’s designed to teach you the tools you need to break free. Here’s the link: https://app.guardyoureyes.com/
I also recommend looking into getting webchaver through something called the KBA system. It’s actually free, but they will charge you an amount of money that you choose upon sign up, if they see anything that you shouldn’t be looking at. The bad and questionable reports get reported by the A.I. are reviewed by real people before you get charged. This doesn’t include just looking at p but also borderline stuff like what you describe. Check it out, it’s free so you have nothing to lose and I’ve been using it myself for quite a while without any problems. The link for that is in my signature.

Shavua tov Koshereyes,

I feel deeply for your struggle and, like probably everyone on this site, can appreciate the feelings you are describing. It is by no means easy to escape from these things, especially in 21st century America. However, it is by all means essential to escape from them.

It sounds to me like you currently don't appreciate with enough urgency how porn and looking at immodest photos (really lusting in any form including compulsive imagining) will G-d forbid poison your brain and bring destruction to your future marriage if you do not stop now. This is really not a joke. You need to talk to guys from GYE who have had their lives and marriages ruined by pornography and the addiction to lust. This forum (i.e., GYE) is loaded with tragic stories of middle aged guys coming out and saying that their marriage is in ruins, life is miserable, etc etc etc, Rachmana litzlan! It is perfectly normal to think women are beautiful and to have a tiava to look at them, but step 1 to quitting is deeply internalizing that you want, and NEED, to quit.

Hi everyone, For about 10 years I've been having an addiction to immodest things. Eventually, it led to other sins such as p'gam habrit. As a teen, I always fought my desires for p'gam habrit but still saw inappropriate content. However, that eventually changed a few years ago. I eventually got a filter and an accountability partner. They have been helpful but there's only so much they can do and plus there are always loopholes. My longest streak of keeping clean was probably one of the happiest moments in a while as it was around 250+ days. But eventually, by accident, I saw something I shouldn't have seen and I slipped. Now I'm back to my old ways where I slip with pgam habrit at least once or twice a month and I see something that I shouldn't see pretty much almost every day (not so graphic due to the filter but still inappropriate). Today I fell again and I don't know what to do. I understand the severe consequence of this aviera and I want to quit. But it's so hard too. I want to end this. Any advice? 
Btw sorry if the post was too long
Thanks! 

Welcome to GYE!
The first thing you should do is realize that you've already done a great step in the right direction by reaching out for help, Hashem will surely help you get out of this..

You are NOT alone!
We are living in extremely challenging times and many people are suffering like you. At the same time many have also recovered and so will you with Hashem's help.

Here are a few things that can lift your spirits and give you a clearer perspective on these issues.

1- These shiurim are a great source of chizzuk and inspiration theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/
2- We suggest that you read this book guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation
3- Review the great tools and recovery info in the GYE Handbook guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/gye-handbook

Also it's very important to CONNECT with someone in real life. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it's CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Find someone that you can share your pain and struggles with. And finally, have someone who can cheer you on and celebrate your both big and small wins with you!

Inever know what to say...you sound better than you sound like you think you are.
Do you always regret it? 
Why did this opportunity come? WHy had they been coming?

What, actually, would come about if you gave in? I'm not sure it's like you think..like this addiction and world makes us think it will be.
.
In the long run, what will come ot of going or not going? Even not from a religious perspective. And in the short run.

I don't know...wish I could help you with everything going on behind this, as you talk about.
But anwyay, if you've come so far, and the wrolds such bad shape, if you do give in now, will everything before lose some meaning? Or maybe not? will it become really a waste, embarrassment and regrets once you get in that life and mindset I think if I gave in now, that's how I would feel about it. Too far in now to give up, might as well keep it meaning something. Let it be part of a huge struggle, something to one day be able to look back on in  another light, rather than lose it to the viewpoint that anything not indulgent is wasted youth. 

If we take on that life, everything that meant something now becomes a lifetime of nothing.

basically, mema nefshach, if either way ends up with regret looking backwards, take the way that will end up with happiness looking backwards. And that is, again, regardless of belief.

Sorry I cant be more help now