Thank you Robiny Bardichev

You helpmed me a lot in accomplishing 90 days.

Hoshem will apy you back, because only he has enough resources and the capability of paying you what you truly deserve for helping me and all members.

Simcha is the key in this battle. and the Reba keeps us Besimcha.

Keep it up and keep on trucking.

hello all

today is a yoim simcha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shteighecher reached 90

the hayligger zaydes are dancing in himmel

keep on trucking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep on trucking in the new truck, if you see me on the side, please pick me up and take me along. I love new trucks and the trucker too.

I though the 90 day chart rules are very clear, if they are to strict for your matzev, you can persobnally edit them fpor you, but, wouldn't it be a good way to start ?

Dear JB,

I am truly humbled that you found inspiration from my story. I really wish I could have caught myself when I was your age.

In truth, it was by reading stories such as yours, and seeing the love, caring and guidance from everyone here, that gave me the strength to work on my own recovery, and eventually gave me the courage to post my own story here. So I owe a great debt of Hakoras Hatov to all of you (I will not name names because I will surely leave out some important ones). I feel truly privileged to be a member of such a group of Ovdei Hashem.

May you continue in your path of recovery and growth in Avodas Hashem, and at the right time you should be zoche to find your true zivug and have a happy and wonderful marriage. Hopefully by then you will be so long over this that there will be no need to tell her that it was ever a problem.

Meanwhile just take it one day at a time. As the days and weeks add up, it does get easier.

Keep On Trucking^TM!

Gevura!

ok here is some straight forward chizzuk

look in the mirror

talk to yourself

(make sure no one is around or they will send u to bellvue)

scream loWDLY!!!!

I AM NO ONE'S FAULT!!!

again

I AM nones fault

life is meant to be lived  in the present

not in the past

i will deal with my issues nisyonos hangups addictions habits middos ghosts dibbukim (pick your flavor)

as they come

in real time

i am no ones fault

i will not blame ny lackof shmiras eye-naim

not on the neighbor,the cleaning lady ,tthe shvigger,the rebbetzin,the queen,the stewardess,

i will not blame the internet the iphone the blackbery the wii the psp the the ipad pad ped pid pud

i actually don't even need to blame


did anyone ever tell a orthopedist

that the sidewalk was too hard??!!

did anyone tell a heart doctor ??!! the cholint was too fatty??

maybe they did

does it help if it someones fault ??no!!!

so why are we sitting around crying

keep on trucking

chazak chazak wrote on 10 Aug 2011 05:54:


Thank you so much for your kind and warm words. It did so much for me to see the care and love that you have for me!
Such a beautiful Dvar Torah...
Sleep well my brother.
Love,

KH

I feel for you. I love you. I am totally with you. you are in the right place. in this community every one grows. you will one day be a hero. Milchemes Hayatzer will in deed continue all our lives but we will over come him. as the torah says ואליך תשוקתו the yetzers desire in life will be to get you in his trap. to fall. but the torah says ואתה תמשול בו and you will have the power to on top of him and own leadership against him.
We all suffer from ups and downs.
A choshuva rav told me once to do a mitzvah for one second "is a Nitzchiyus". its there לנצח נצחים ולעולמי עולמים every second of our lives is like a peace of land which nothing has been planted yet, or any type of material which nothing has been created with it yet. that's exactly the description of a "second".
you can plant on each second something else.
but at the end of your life all of these seconds will come together, and you will see the wonderful garden you have planted.
every new second is a new opportunity.
if we really feel bad about wasting so many seconds, so many opportunity's we have an option of tshuva where the Mlachim that are born of your tshuvah locate all these thorns and bad stuff and just rip them out for you and replace them with new seeds. but this is already a bonus "tshuvah is not a senseble thing" hashem gave it to us as a present. hashem says even if you owe me trillions of dollars i will wipe out all your bills with the tears of tshuva. and if it is tshuva maahava i will send your mlachim to repair all your seconds. but hashem wants from us not to abuse this system, so he warned us that if we decide to fall and fall and then do tshuva it wont work. so what we have to do is focus on recovery. build as many seconds as we can. and when we fall we should make sure to rescue the next second at least. and try in deed not to fall. and really feel sorry for falling. and keep on trucking. dont kill the next second because the past second every second is a new opportunity.
my freind i love you deep in my heart we are brothers both sons of the same father in heaven. we are brothers in nature i am an addict for my problems and you are at yours. we love each other we understand each other. lets together get out of the dirt as much as we can and focus on not wasting any extra seconds for this battle.
i cant stop righting just because i love you and i feel for you but my wife says that its time to go to sleep. sorry.
i love you. i love you. i love you.

but guess what Tatty loves us both too. in whichever situation we are he loves us. good night my brother. 
       
   

Wow! a new truck! Shiny rims, leather seats, GYE bumpersticker, a bag of black jellybeans, woodford in the cupholder

You're all ready for a long and successful ride!

Hatzlacha and Keep On Trucking^TM

Gevura!

Hi everyone!
the purpose of my thread is to keep a log of my ups and downs, my good days and my weak moments. but more importantly to get support, advice, encouragement, and yes even just a 'keep on trucking' reply. So every reply would be greatly appreciated. In addition, I might use this thread just to kvetch and even sometimes wander off topic. basically, a place I would call home.

To the point. I was on the taphsic method for the last 2 months. I've committed myself to donate to GYE $75O when I fall, except, if I would do certain things for 30 minutes before a fall then I would only need to pay $75. b"h it worked wonders. It kept me from falling for almost 2 months, I was clean as a fish. for me that's a major accomplishment. before I did "taphsic" I had a hard time just to surpass 3/4 days clean.
Unfortunately with deep regrets, I had a series of falls. I fell 3 times yesterday and I just fell again. I just couldn't get up. It looks like I fell so badly causing my whole truck to loose control and than crashing and destroying my beloved truck 
I just donated 750 to GYE (I was committing myself only towards my first fall. So for the falls thereafter I didnt need to pay) believe me, in my financial state it was very difficult, but I guess that's the whole idea.

However, its time to get a new truck and start everything anew.
the first thing I'll do is to jump back on this method. I'm committing myself - very strongly & sincerely but completely בל"נ - that when I'm about to fall or I feel weak and I'm afraid of falling, If I do for 30 minutes one of the following 1)talk to a family member 2) listen to a kosher hotline 3) take a walk/ do something in the street, Ill just need to pay $25. But if I would fall without doing any of the above for full 30 minutes, I'll need to pay $250. effective immediately הכל שריר וקיים. I reserve the right to modify, like adding something in the 30 minute list or raising the amount etc. However, I cant change it to make it easier. I've lowered the amounts because I really feel that this would be more than enough to hold me back. If 250 wouldn't do it, than 750 wouldn't do the trick as well (I could prove it  :-[  )
In addition I'm committing my self to pay $50 for the following. 1)I even try to get around my filter. 2) I take my laptop or any other device with internet into the bathroom. (everything is just for one time, hopefully it would be even once)
I understand I need to be very specific about what to consider a fall and what is just a slip, either for browsing online and for acting. (that was part of the reason I fell, I wasn't specific enough) If anyone could help me setting very specific rules as for what to be considered a fall, please let me know

Tomorrow is going to be my first day for my clean streak

Thanks for stopping by
your brother who struggels
im not alone

First thing.  Don't get down on yourself.  Pick yourself up and keep on trucking as they say here.  You must be doing something right to have stayed clean for so long.  You did it once, and you can pick yourself up and do it again, only better.  Hatzlocho Rabba!

just keep on trucking

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome aboard! You definitely have come to the right place! Chazak v'ematz!

P.S. It took me 30 years to get here....

Keep On Trucking^TM (do you know what that means yet?)

Gevura!

i am amazed at your rotzin to do better, and hashem also knows. keep strong and next shabbos you will feel even better. i would find a nice torah book to keep your self busy, try the book "The 6 constant mizvoes" from R Berkioitz they sell it in every store and its cheap, its a great book to start building a relationship with hashem.

hazlocha and as they say-

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!

Unless you have been acting out on a regular basis and this has been a big issue for you through your life, yes - you are probably thinking about it too much.

One of the worst things we can do to 'deal with' our problem, is to create a mountain out of a molehill. Thinking about it and agonizing over it and trying to perfect our taharah in it...are all playing into the hands of the YH. They backfire and draw us after it even more.

As in, "Do not think about a three-legged pink elephant. Quick!!"

So "Keep On Trucking" is by far the best attitude for someone like that (which is probably most people). We all have tayvos. C'mon. Hashem does not fault us for having tayvos. He says, "Lo sasuru acharei..." And here you are worried about maybe acting out in your sleep?!

Hashem has helped you so much till now, and it sounds like you have grown so much so far. You have found a decent woman with which to build a real life together. To grow together with before Hashem. Wow.

Take it easy brother. Keep sharing your challenges, remain vigilant against selfishness and self-centeredness...but don't take yourself too seriously. Relax.

Never go to sleep afraid that you will have a wet dream. Go to bed with confidence that Hashem will take care of you just fine without your help. I say a tehilim and daven for those people I lusted after, using their real names directly, and tell Hashem
that i trust Him to help me have agood night's rest and wake up besimcha no matter what - even if it is nigzar on me that I have a bad dream. I say Adon Olam, I make sure to smile and than Hashem for the nice day and for my being alive, etc. Then i put myself and my Neshoma in His hands and go to sleep.

Goodnight!

8)

Ben Durdayah's post means this:
Bezh"i I will try to go there more often.

One of the difficulties is the hours, because I am here in Eretz Yisroel and most of the Yiddish speakers are beyond the sea

But  you are correct, after all

We needed gains a bust

But now lay I sleep

Good night, dear brother

And Keep on Trucking




(c) Google Translate and Blind Beggar Translation Services