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Men and Women's forums are now seperate
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This board is for the webmaster of GYE to make important announcements.

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TOPIC: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 30149 Views

Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 13 Jan 2010 19:52 #45420

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habib613 wrote on 13 Jan 2010 19:47:

haven't you ever signed up for something, realized you didn't want it, and then canceled? if the girl sees an announcement, and realizes she is addicted, she can sign up, take a look around, and then decide if she wants to stay or not.


By the way Habib, I would just lie it to be known that the decision by Guard to seperate rhe forums is backed by me. I am just playing devil's advocate and thinking about the future of GYE. That is my sole intent here. I just don't think woman are going to sign up. I think in general woman are more hesitant and conservative to do things in general, atkeast more than men. Maybe that's why there are so many more males that are addicts and in GYE than females to begin with. I hope this works for the female side, I just dont think it will.

-Yiddle
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 13 Jan 2010 19:55 #45421

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i'm a bit pessimistic too...
but even if it's just us, that'll have to be enough.
Although it seriously hurt, this is ratzon Hashem.

g'luck yiddle

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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 13 Jan 2010 19:57 #45422

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You too Habib,

I wish you the much hatzlacha and who knows maybe the forums will come together again some time in the future. 

-Yiddle
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 13 Jan 2010 20:22 #45435

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habib613 wrote on 13 Jan 2010 19:55:

i'm a bit pessimistic too...
but even if it's just us, that'll have to be enough.
Although it seriously hurt, this is ratzon Hashem.

g'luck yiddle




Will have to be  enough?
Wwe are going to be such a cosy and close knit little family that  the yh wont have an inch to wiggle his way in between!
Tighter than the rocks under Yaakov Avinu's head. 8)
KOR!

And yes
this is ratzon Hashem.
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 13 Jan 2010 20:47 #45439

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Sounds Good.... ALL THE SPECIAL PEOPLE IN THE SPECIAL GROUP...

FRIENDS-4-EVER!!
No one is so small that he can not give help, and no one is so big that he doesn't need it.

Kol HaOlam Kulo, Gesher Tzar Meod, V'HaIkkar: Lo L'Pacheid Klal.
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 13 Jan 2010 23:08 #45512

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Steve wrote on 13 Jan 2010 19:15:



Years ago, I was involved in an outreach org that was trying to interest assimilated college kids to come to an exciting Torah lecturer. They wanted to make a humorous flyer advertising the topic, like any good advert for a lecture posted on that campus. The head rabbi of the org said NO. you don't water-down torah. The truth of torah will sell itself. advertise in a way that will peak their interest but not make fun of the Torah or frumkeit. Example are those famous illustrations of an assimilated family around the seder table, or men in shul. They may be funny, even true to life, but they are NOT l'kovod Torah and Yiddishkeit, and that takes away from the chashivus in the eyes of everyone.

But what about the "fruma" of the Conservative, the USY'ers and the Modern Orthodox NCSY'ers out there. Will they get turned on or off by the separation? before, i thought this was a nice happy medium - and could help give access to our less affiliated brothers and sisters, who might be mekarev by these hip yet frum conversations between both genders. And more close to home, what brought all us yeshiva and sem and bais yaakov grads here in the first place, was our internet addiction and worse that made us feel "less" than frum. Are there any of us, men or women, who would NOT have joined if the forum was as separated as it is becoming? were we not slightly intrigued by the other side's problem?



1) So, what happened with the toned-down fliers? Did they attract people anyway?

2) I think that the people who come can be drawn by the open, caring, and honest conversation within genders.

3) Women are more conservative...but for that very reason, many may be quicker to join if they know they'll be among women only. How will they know, find it, etc? I'll leave that to guard (or to anyone else who has suggestions). Plus, with the new mechitza, jewish publications, even for girls, may be more willing to look at this option.

4) Just an interesting thought - how do oyu think most people on this forum would relate to a non-frum or conservative jew? Personally, I think that it's even more impressive that they're working on these issues, coming from a world where that's not a priority (to say the least)...your thoughts?
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 14 Jan 2010 03:19 #45551

habib613 wrote on 13 Jan 2010 19:28:


in the more yeshivish/chassidish world, these things are often very looked down upon, and word travels VERY fast. All one needs is for someone to see him walk into the therapist, and that's it. no more shidduchim for me...



And that's why that world needs to pull its head out of its collective @#$%^.
Last Edit: 14 Jan 2010 03:52 by .

Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 14 Jan 2010 03:23 #45554

Steve wrote on 13 Jan 2010 19:45:

habib613 wrote on 13 Jan 2010 19:37:

Yiddle2 wrote on 13 Jan 2010 19:34:

Habib,
I do respect your reasoning but you are already in the GYE loop. You know that there IS a woman's forum. How does a female have ANY chance of joining GYE when she thinks she is goin to be the only female?
this was brought up on our side of the forum.
R' Guard said he would do something about that. maybe put an announcement somewhere.


One day there is gonna hafta be availability on search engines, ads, etc., and the boys are gonna hafta behave themselves and not try to visit by pretending to be girls. (A-HEM... wonder where THAT idea came from.... who's Bruce?...)


WHEN THE HELL DID I EVER SAY THAT?

SHOW ME WHERE.
Last Edit: 14 Jan 2010 03:30 by .

Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 14 Jan 2010 04:01 #45557

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I'm sure you DIDN'T say it, Bruce.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 14 Jan 2010 04:13 #45558

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Yo, Mista Wayne, ease up... my misunderstanding... keep your Utility belt on...

Somewhere here i read that there was a time when a girl signed up pretending to be a boy, in order to be involved in the discussions, and in the same post the guy posting said something cryptic like 'goodbye Bruce", so I just assumed the male persona she put on was the name Bruce. Sorry, it was not pointing to you at all. And i don't even know the history of this inyan, I just arrived at this forum in november.

Seems i just proved the old adage of "what happens when you ASSUME"? One makes an A** out of U and ME...

But seriously, if you want to dress up like a FEMALE Super hero, maybe you could spy and bring us back word...  WHOOPS! ONLY KIDDING!!!

Again, "Sorry about that, chief."  (Oh, wrong spoof...)

No one is so small that he can not give help, and no one is so big that he doesn't need it.

Kol HaOlam Kulo, Gesher Tzar Meod, V'HaIkkar: Lo L'Pacheid Klal.
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 14 Jan 2010 05:08 #45564

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silentbattle wrote on 13 Jan 2010 23:08:

Steve wrote on 13 Jan 2010 19:15:



Years ago, I was involved in an outreach org that was trying to interest assimilated college kids to come to an exciting Torah lecturer. They wanted to make a humorous flyer advertising the topic, like any good advert for a lecture posted on that campus. The head rabbi of the org said NO. you don't water-down torah. The truth of torah will sell itself. advertise in a way that will peak their interest but not make fun of the Torah or frumkeit. Example are those famous illustrations of an assimilated family around the seder table, or men in shul. They may be funny, even true to life, but they are NOT l'kovod Torah and Yiddishkeit, and that takes away from the chashivus in the eyes of everyone.

But what about the "fruma" of the Conservative, the USY'ers and the Modern Orthodox NCSY'ers out there. Will they get turned on or off by the separation? before, i thought this was a nice happy medium - and could help give access to our less affiliated brothers and sisters, who might be mekarev by these hip yet frum conversations between both genders. And more close to home, what brought all us yeshiva and sem and bais yaakov grads here in the first place, was our internet addiction and worse that made us feel "less" than frum. Are there any of us, men or women, who would NOT have joined if the forum was as separated as it is becoming? were we not slightly intrigued by the other side's problem?



1) So, what happened with the toned-down fliers? Did they attract people anyway?

2) I think that the people who come can be drawn by the open, caring, and honest conversation within genders.

3) Women are more conservative...but for that very reason, many may be quicker to join if they know they'll be among women only. How will they know, find it, etc? I'll leave that to guard (or to anyone else who has suggestions). Plus, with the new mechitza, jewish publications, even for girls, may be more willing to look at this option.

4) Just an interesting thought - how do oyu think most people on this forum would relate to a non-frum or conservative jew? Personally, I think that it's even more impressive that they're working on these issues, coming from a world where that's not a priority (to say the least)...your thoughts?


Answers:

1) i don't remember. They made the flyer without me. And that was in the 80's, in the dark ages before cell phones and iMacs. Whole diff mind-set now on campuses.
2) i agree 100% - just was trying to find out how others felt. Habib answered very well.
3) it really could grow into something special and safe for women to go to. A Testosterone-Free Zone.
4) Very good question. I was bringing it out to see if this could become an outreach kinda thing eventually. but personally, after thinking more about it right now, this is a wonderful arena for Torah Yidden to work specifically on this problem/issue, and mixing it with kiruv or teaching about tznius from the ground up would just bog us down into sidetracks we can't afford right now. We gotta concentrate on what we've got. Right now, this is where it should be, and if it's too "frum" for some, well, their time will come. I need to be in a place of Torah and Hashkafa, with ALL YOU GUYS.

Also, if we're gonna make a dent in this wall between us and Moshiach, we've gotta fix the TORAH CAMP from this addiction. After all, we're the one's who should know better, We're the one's Hashem is judging the generation by, not the Tinukei She'Nishbah... When we fix ourselves, then we can spread the message of purity wihtout feeling like hypocrites.
No one is so small that he can not give help, and no one is so big that he doesn't need it.

Kol HaOlam Kulo, Gesher Tzar Meod, V'HaIkkar: Lo L'Pacheid Klal.
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 14 Jan 2010 05:14 #45569

First of all, I think Habib said that she originally pretended to be a guy before there was a womens' forum.

Second, I'm absolutely positive I never said that. But anyone with two neurons is smart enough to have thought of that already anyway. So yes, there's gonna have to be some way to confirm gender, if that's even possible.

Third, you didn't ASSUME anything. You didn't CHECK YOUR FACTS. Another big no-no. This is how rumors get started.

Fourth, I don't know about you but we don't dress up as women where I'm from. You're just asking for it if you do.

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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 14 Jan 2010 05:21 #45571

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Bruce I think it was originally a joke and hopefully we xan look past it. There is already enough tension on the forum lets try to minimize it as much as we can.

-Yiddle

P.S Bruce, you must not be from my neck of the woods  ;D
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 14 Jan 2010 05:46 #45573

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Bruce,

I'm sorry. I messed up, and hurt your feelings, maybe embarrassed you, c"v. I explained myself above, what my original comment was, and that it wasn't ever directed at you personally.  I thought that made it clear. I didn't realize the depth of your offense -  and my poor attempt at humor was only meant to be disarming, not to show insincerity. And I apologize publicly for the dress up jokes. I meant no disrespect.

I will attempt to check the facts from now on before i open my big mouth.

Please forgive me. You have always been a voice of sanity and balance on this forum, and I must have really hit a raw nerve to have riled you up so.

Now, can we please make up and be friends again?
No one is so small that he can not give help, and no one is so big that he doesn't need it.

Kol HaOlam Kulo, Gesher Tzar Meod, V'HaIkkar: Lo L'Pacheid Klal.
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Re: Men and Women's forums are now seperate 14 Jan 2010 05:55 #45575

I just have a major problem when people put words into my mouth. Or other people's mouths. Especially if it can be taken negatively.

Just remember that, due to the fact that we are communicating via text, it is sometimes difficult to tell what's a joke and what isn't.

I don't like jokes that are done at other people's expense anyway.
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