Does anybody think it is possible to reach out for help, before you fall?

Can we really post here (and email those that have been kind enough to share their anonymous emails) while in the shas nisayon/time of battle?

I wonder and actually doubt that it is so possible.

Yosef Hatzadik put in his signature now a question: do we have someone (or people) we can contact to help us in a shas nisayon prevent a fall?

Well I for one, do not. I would like to have a real support system in place, but after being on this website for over a month, I sadly do not. I don't even know if it would work and that I would reach out or could reach out when in the throws of the yetzer hara, but I might be more likely to succeed, if this was really in place to help me.

I am not willing to call anyone, since I wouldn't want the person to hear my voice. I could email someone who could then write back right away to help me restrain my yetzer hara. I could maybe try the email hotline, but I think it said it's only "on" for an hour or so a day.

The point is: to just write on this forum is not going to do it for me. Is anybody (hopefully several, even many of you) willing to be there for me, so that I can reach out by email and maybe here too before I fall, in order to prevent a fall?

I, of course, would return the favor if you needed to reach out at a shas nisayon.

This may not work, but at least if it is fully operational and in place, I stand a better chance!

Thank you,

Try posting in the I'm about to FALL!! thread.  You would be surprised how quick you can get a response from other GYE'ers!



BTW, it took me MUCH longer than 1 month to build my circle of friends.....  :D

Thank you.

I'll try that the next time a big test comes, and hopefully THIS time, I will pass the test and show HaShem and myself that I am a neshama, and not an animal.

I can control my base urges and drives, they are not in control of me! I am an eved HaShem and not a slave to my tyvahs! I don't have to fail every time. I don't have to fail at all. If HaShem sends me a test, then by definition, I can pass it. It is not hopeless. One day at a time, I can succeed and break free from this very bad habit.

Purim Somaoch everyone!

I failed again last night, AFTER writing my big, meaty post! At about 3am, even though I told myself and everyone here that I will not be on the computer at night at all!

I am ready to start again, but this is ridiculous! I am going to have all 4 free ebooks printed out and bound today, AND I will start reading tonight. I simply must do something different, because this is definitely NOT working out. I have never had so many falls into the mud as I have since I've been posting on this forum!!! I haven't even been able to put 14 clean days together! (despite what the wall of honor chart says that won't cooperate with me. I don't want any cumulative count...whatever)

I may not post so often, since I feel like a broken record and hypocritical...talk the talk, but not walking the walk. Also, I repeatedly haven't been able/willing to contact anyone when I feel I am vulnerable and about to fall. This is the main reason why I am posting on this website forum in the first place, and it hasn't worked even once!

Jack, who has succeeded for over 2 years now, after having a fall just about every day before coming here, and kedusha who has been very successful as well, both started without posting on the forum and 90 day chart. Once they were set up and moving forward they came here to post. Perhaps this is what I need to do as well.

I still want to put 80 clean days together NOW, which is all the way to Shavuos, but I have SERIOUS doubts about how realistic this is....though people seem to be able to just do it, I don't know HOW to just do it! I am very disappointed in myself. I should have known better, not to get on the computer late at night about 11pm. And I had a really good, meaningful Purim too! I feel like I was blindsided by my yetzer hara, and was somehow tricked into sinning, as ridiculous as that sounds. I know that he is toying with me, trying to get me down and depressed and give up, before I really start breaking free, but he is doing a VERY good job!!! I will win, but boy is he having a field day with me so far!

HELP

p.s. please don't tell me some rhyming one-liner or initials for some slogan

I'm sorry for posting in rhyme,
But you have to take one day at at time!
Eighty is one day, and one day, and another and another,
Chazak Ve'Ematz dear little brother!

The fact that the YH has stepped up the fight,
Is a sign that the victory of light
Over darkness is nearer than near;
When you try to take a stand aganst him -he hits you from the rear!

But Hashem is on your side, have no doubt
He is with you, day in and day out.
Just turn to Him and let Him drive,
Soon enough you will see yourself thrive!

Don't let the YH get you into depression,
That's his specialty -his long time profession!
Just be be'simcha -it's that time of year!
You are Hashem's dear son -have no fear!

KOT!
That means 'Keep on Truckin'!'. It's not just a slogan -it's a way of life!

Your friend,

Elazar ben Durdayah

At this point in time I also see fit
to add to Ben D's my own little bit

That sometimes we feel like its all gone for naught
every attempt we have failed every advice we have sought

over and over like a see-saw we ride
Y"H just waiting for us on each side

But every attemt gives us power, every push give us force
and we have the support of our chevra of course

so just "keep on truckin' " like the guys taught us here
the answers are close -- keep it up have no fear!

realsimcha!



MoIrAdIgGgGgG!!!

Thank You...that was amazing and made me smile the whole way through!

I really needed that.
Yosef

I just re-read the extended poem, and I love it.

Since coming to this website and forum, I really feel that I am not doing "it" all alone, which is actually quite comforting...and I know that there are several guys here that are truly willing and wanting to help me.

I went to a printer and had all 4 free e-books printed out and bound today! That is a major step forward. I started to read it...just flipping through, but a start. I will start with these, and maybe later have the SA book printed out and bound the same way. It was a little uncomfortable having these e-books printed out, but it was and will be well worth it. I weathered 3 comments about what it was I was printing. I told them it was about shmiras ainayim and that was that.

I will succeed with HaShem's help, and I really do feel His love for me, like a father to a son. But I feel embarrassed that I have let Him down so many times, and that I let myself down by giving in/failing to control my physical tyvahs. I can't even guarantee that I won't fail again later tonight, as evidenced by Sunday night. Monday night I stayed up WAY too late again on the computer, and tonight I am on the computer already too late. In fact, I may be addicted to escaping life through being on the computer, and only fall into the ever-present yetzer hara for lust and sexual gratification as an outgrowth of seeing something inappropriate. My addiction may just be to watching videos/movies/programs and not so much to lust...(in college terms) like a major in one and a minor in the other.

Therefore, I must spend less time on the computer and learn night seder more consistently, sleep more hours consistently, read the material I just printed, and post updates on this forum during my lunch break or before going out to night seder. Executing this plan, which I know will work, is, of course, the hard part...and I honestly don't know HOW I am going to actualize it.

I really appreciate the concern and desire to help me that I feel on this website, but I don't know how to translate that into breaking free from all of this self-destructive behavior that is constantly bringing me down. As I have mentioned, I have never fallen so many times in such a short period of time in my life. Awesome, giving people have told me their emails and offered to be there for me, but I haven't been able to reach out to anyone. When I am relatively sober, like now, while writing this post, I don't feel the need to specifically reach out to anyone. And when I am starting to get sucked into the mud pit and am in the throws of the yetzer hara, I am not sober enough or strong enough to reach out to any of you who may help me to prevent me from falling. This is quite a dilemma. Is there an answer that anybody knows? I want and need help, but specifically when I need it most, is also when I am least likely to ask for it.

Thank you

Eizehu chacham ha'roeh es ha nolad.
Or as the US army used to advertise "Be prepared!"
You know your YH better than anyone else
you know when he gets you
you know how he gets you
(and if you dont, think about the past falls and what made you vulnerable)
put up firewalls in advance, so that when the urge comes youre already prepared for it.
Im just throwing out an example, it isnt Torah M'sinai
just a suggestion.
dont go on the computer at night unless you have someone there for you, either by email or by phone.
catch 22 how do you check your email w/out being on the computer
OK got me! So first thing check whos online, make sure theyre available and then do your surfing or whatever. If no one is there or available GET OFF FAST!!!
If they are find out for how long. keep on only as long as you know that someone is there.
again thats just an example, apply it to where ever its applicable.
or ignore my advice and talk to someone who has real knowledge about these things, Im just practicing.

Gesher Tzar Meod wrote on 23 Mar 2011 10:54:

Doctors also 'practice', and they charge oodles of money for the privilege

Yosef, i've seen (on this forum) people suggesting an idea for just your situation. that is to build relationships with people who face similar struggles and reach out to them even when things are going smoothly. just to say "hi, how are you doing?" every once in a while. he can and should do the same with you. especially if he knows that at certain times you are vulnerable and need the connection with real people. this way when things get rough it is less of a challenge to make the call.

Zem are you suggesting that I go into business?
that would take care of my financial stress triggers.

you can open a company called Dietary Bridges Inc.

O.k. I know how my yetzer hara has won in the past (night time dying on the computer, instead of real living), and I am determined to break free and win now in the present and in the future by simply NOT going on the computer at night...ever. It will be very difficult, since this has been the main way that my yetzer hara has beaten me in the past, so I am sure it will put up a BIG fight and try to convince me to go on the computer at night for whatever reason, possibly even trying to convince me it is a mitzvah or that I need to go on for just a few minutes, nothing bad will happen, or some other excuse, but I will not give in. I am in control, and I am a holy Jew / a holy neshama. I decide what my goof/body does, and I am deciding not to go on the computer at night, since it is too risky, too dangerous, too filled with pitfalls that land me sullied in the mud, too much of a waste of precious time, too enticing for me to get off at a reasonable time, too likely that I will give up learning time because of it, which is a horrible trade.

I am going to succeed starting now, March 24th...no special day, no special chart...just simply March 24th. And I am going to take a page out of the count UP toward Shavuos, by not thinking about how many days until Shavuos, or whatever, but rather that this is day 1...and I am counting this day. Yes, I hope to put 1000 or more days together in a beautiful string for HaShem, for me, for my wife, for my family, for klal Yisroel, but I am just focused on today...and I will succeed (and not fall) today!

Well as unbelievable as it sounds, I did kind of fall yesterday. Not a fail in the sense of p- or m-, but I did go on the computer at night, and I did stay up way too late, and I did give up learning several hours because of it. I feel disgusted and stupid.