Today I have reached day 120!!!! this means a third of a year clean!!! May I merit to live 120 years clean!!!!
Toda Rabba HaShem!!!!

and thank you all of GYE for giving me the chizuk to go forward.

MaZeL ToIv!

AMAZING!!!!!

Thank you for the warm whishes chaverim!!!
I just read todays chizuk and the daily dose of Dov inspired me very much. It also sparked a new thought on the subject. He wrote that it takes a long time to change your bad traits into good ones. I thought to myself:  why does it take a long time? Why don't we change in an instant? why do we have to work so hard on ourselves? -Because the harder you work for something--the more you will appreciate it! We have to appreciate our clean state enough to not go back to our old habits!! To stay on our current streak of cleanliness. We need to save each day we are sober and let them add up, and add up and add up, more and more and more!!
may we all have the zechut and chizuk to do so!!!

It's been a long while since I posted. Well, I'm still clean!!! Sometimes I get overconfident and think I defeated this addiction for good, but then the temptation creeps in and bad thoughts enter my mind: My yetzer hara is telling me: "Is that website still up? Why don't you check it out? You can proof to yourself  that you're strong and that it will no longer do anything to you. I then remind myself of the days I've won so far and the misery and shame I will feel when I give in. I also start reading obe of the chizuk emails to keep me focused on HaShem and then the temptation will go away.
Thanks GYE for all the chizuk and helping me win this lifelong battle with lust!!

Beautiful!!

Keep up the good work! Youre a true inspiration!

It's been a long time since I posted here, but my work has kept me very busy. We were preparing for an audit and had to make everything neat and check our work and accomplishments so that we would make sure that we would pass this audit.  It took my mind off of my addiction and als reminded me of my own life. HaShem is always watching me and seeing all my actions. There will come a time when I will have to make an accounting for my action, words and thoughts! Will I pass that test? There is sooooo much cleaning up to do!!!!!!! I noticed that lowering your gaze and staying far away from ordinary advertisements and ordinary magazines and even newspapers helps a whole lot.  But sometimes I have difficulty lowering my gaze and "accidentally" find myself staring. I know that it is the beginning of a slip and until now it didn't got any further. Baruch HaShem!!!! I know the batlle is not over yet.......to be continued!

I do not lower my gaze, for that does not work very well - i always end up seeing too much in the few miliseconds, you know of what I speak. And as soon as I see porn and it's related friends (like regular magazines with pretty women on the cover), my brain changes. I am allergic and cannot afford that, for I am sober b'H.

I am at such a low madreiga, that I need to close my eyes and direct my eyeballs to another direction, then open them.

Simple eitza, I use it often, and it works much better for me than 'diverting my gaze'. Boruch Hashem.

Hey everybody!!

It's only 59 days untill I  am one full year clean!!! i am counting the days!!!! Thanks to you all and guard your eyes this is my longest clean streak until now !!!!
Boruch HaShem!!!

by the way, I want to make a donation to guard your eyes, but also want to help someone reach 90 days with it. Can anyone help me or want to be my sponsee???

Amazing thread! I just read the beggining of it and now you're almost at one year! Wow...
I'd be honored to be your sponsee, I'm currently on day 51, my all-time longest.

Wow mordechai. You truly were dragged as a captive in this war a true tinok shenishbah. I also saw some images as a young boy but not as ofen or as prolonged as it seems you describe. No child desereves to have their innocence so cruelly torn away from them. We can not know why Hashem leet this happen in your case but your climb back to Him is valuable every step of the way. Keep it up. And keep posting.

MORDECHAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE NEVER MET HERE

SOOOOOOOOOO SORRY

YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!

I WOULD FLY TO HOLLAND JUST TO SHAKE YOUR HAND

AND DRINK A FEW HEINIKENS!!!!

AMAZING AMAZING!!!

thank you all for your kind words bardichev and obormotel! if it wasn't for this forum and this great website i would still be in the filth.
Obormotel, I'm proud to be your sponsor! sorry for my late reply. I have been busy last month.

Bardichev, if you are ever in Holland please let me know and we will certainly drink a few Heinekens. Although where I live Grolsch is more popular. (it tastes better to)

keep on truckin'everybody!!!

beautiful thread- just found it, wish mine would look like this