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my lifelong battle with lust
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: my lifelong battle with lust 3189 Views

Re: my lifelong battle with lust 06 Feb 2011 21:37 #95880

  • Mordechai
ur-a-jew wrote on 03 Feb 2011 23:01:

And remember 90 days is just a stepping stone.  After a nearly 30 year addiction, it will unfortunately take more than 90 days to overcome. 


You are so right ur-a-jew, thank you!!!
I know that 90 days is not a point when I can say: I made it, now I can relax and let my guard down. I am aware that I need to be constantly on guard! Every minute of every day! But seeing another day clean gives me so much joy! I try to make it a habit of trying to update the chart everyday, so I will be reminded of my succes for that day and the need to stay strong and not letting lust in.
Today I am 77 days clean!!
When I reached 70 days, my wife gave me a chocolate bar wrapped in a gold coloured wrapper. (I told her about the chart and the virtual rewards you’ll get) She said: “you will also get a ‘gold bar from me’. She rejoices with me for every clean day.
If you are able, share your successes with your spouse, so you can rejoice together. That joy will also be a great chizuk to continue the battle against lust.
For me, seeing my wife rejoice as I have spent another day clean tells me I’m finally doing the right thing, makes me proud at myself (in a good way), builds up self esteem and makes me happy as well. 

Up to 78 days!!!!!
Last Edit: 06 Feb 2011 21:55 by .

Re: my lifelong battle with lust 10 Feb 2011 21:13 #96542

  • Mordechai
a couple of days ago I heared abou t a young boy who died as a result of a braintumour. He was 3 years old and had been fighting the disease for a year and a half. My brother knows the family. It reminded me that the most important thing we can give to our loved ones and HaShem is our time!! We must not spend it on worthless things and forbidden entertainment, because you never know how much time you have.

Quite a sobering thought.

I hope it strengthens you just as much as it did me.

--Mordechai--
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 11 Feb 2011 00:21 #96582

  • Dov
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When the real-estate in my brain is taken up with the stupid distraction that is lust, I have no time for my kids, my wife, myself, and especially none at all for Hashem - even if I am davening thrice daily and learning. Boruch Hashem for every single day sober - and especially for today - no matter what was before or what may come after!

You are a very fortunate man, Mordechai!
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 19 Feb 2011 19:29 #97559

  • Mordechai
Today was a very special shabbos for me... because this shabbos I reached 90 days sober!!!!!!

I'm very grateful to HKBH for helping me reach 90 days and for leading me to this great site and through GYE to all of you fine people!!!

Your support and posts help me stay strong and encourage me to go on.

a great toda to all of you
--Mordechai--
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 19 Feb 2011 19:35 #97560

  • geshertzarmeod
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Phenomenal! Mazal Tov!
May you keep going from Chayil L'Chayil!
ישראל אע"פ שחטא ישראל הוא
If you're connected above, you won't fall down below - Reb Shlomo
ולבי חלל בקרבי
לולא האמנתי לראות בטוב ה' בארץ חיים
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 20 Feb 2011 00:49 #97562

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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 20 Feb 2011 01:40 #97565

  • yona18
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Congratulations Mordechai!
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 20 Feb 2011 01:43 #97566

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Very appropriate - on the Shabbos of Shushan Purim Koton, we can all shout "Boruch Mordechai!" 

Mazal Tov!
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 20 Feb 2011 04:26 #97585

  • Dov
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Mazel Tov.....now there is today, just like there was only 'today' yesterday. Today is precious, isn't it?
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 20 Feb 2011 17:09 #97677

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GEVALDIG!!!
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 21 Feb 2011 04:33 #97797

  • rashkebehag
Mazel tov wishing you הצלחה in all areas of your עבודת השם
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 21 Feb 2011 05:39 #97799

  • ZemirosShabbos
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Mazel Tov Mordechai!
very happy to hear about your milestone
keep up your great work
you are investing in your life
(remember also that as all good investors say: past performance is not a guarantee for future results, the Y'H is known to pick fights with post-90-ers as well as newbies, if not more so)
KUYGW!
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 21 Feb 2011 19:54 #97889

  • im not alone
mazel tov mordchei

i'm really happy for you,
such success stories are a breath of fresh air

please have us all in mind,
we all want to be there

(i'm heading there with my 18 wheeler)

in the mean time i'll just KEEP ON TRUCKING

just keep up till 120.................... "years"
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 06 Mar 2011 21:08 #99813

  • Mordechai
(remember also that as all good investors say: past performance is not a guarantee for future results, the Y'H is known to pick fights with post-90-ers as well as newbies, if not more so)


This is so true.. Ever since reaching 90 days the Yetzer hara has been working on me. I was so thrilled about my succes that the Y'H' had me think about my succes and how I was last year and the years before. How addicted I was. when I thought about that images started to surface in my mind and I felt the urge growing again...Baruch HaShem, I didn't give in and am still clean. It's just that the Y'H'is telling me that I can afford to let my thoughts wander and see if I am still addited or still strong. Truth of the matter is: yes I am still addicted and it is only by HKBH that I am still clean!!!! it reminds me to never, ever let my guard down. (before you know it you're KO)
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Re: my lifelong battle with lust 07 Mar 2011 17:50 #99958

  • ZemirosShabbos
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Mordechai wrote on 06 Mar 2011 21:08:

Truth of the matter is: yes I am still addicted and it is only by HKBH that I am still clean!!!! it reminds me to never, ever let my guard down. (before you know it you're KO)

very true
good attitude you have there
keep up the good work!
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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