I recently discovered this site, and it is just what I need.  I started the 90 day challenge, and guess what, I messed up today after 21 clean days, but I am convinced I can do it, and I am starting again tonight!  I can have all of Av and Elul, and hopefully, by the end of Tishrei, I'll have done my 90 days!  I know it wont be that simple.  I have an accountability partner, so hopefully we can help each other out. 

heliger pintele !!!

are you cousins with pintele?

you messed up??

you whacked smashed burned obliterated the menuval the farshtinkere YH for 21 days

WOWEEEEEEEE what an accomlishment

when I joined this sie 4 months ago i couldn't go 21 minuets!!!

ok welcome to the FAMILY

ther is no falling and for sure no failing

do you know how to ride a bike?

wher you born a bike rider or was it a practiced skill?

same thing here!!

stay on the site!

hatzlocho
bardichev

Seem to be a lot of Pintele's here.

Then again, arent we ALL pintele Yidden?

Welcome home Pintele

good point

or good pintele

or as e.l. would say good shpitz

b

Dear Pintale.Jew,

I changed your name to "Jew" because we already have another "Pintale Yid" on this forum. And even though the difference between "Pintale Yid" and "Pintale.Yid" is only a Pintale, it's a pintale" confusing, if you know what I mean  :D. (I hope you don't mind!)

Anyway, as you have probably figured out, I am the admin of the forum... Welcome to our community!

Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up! (especially Bardichev  ;D ;D ;D)

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. I cannot give you all the right advice in one short post, so I implore you, do at least this for yourself. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

We also have a hotline on this page, where you can call and speak to someone with experience.

And we just started recently a 12-Step phone group that would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you turn your life around. PLEASE JOIN DUVID CHAIM'S daily group. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are. This is VERY important.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or live 12-Step SA groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Thanks guys.  The summer seems to be especially hard for me, because I am hit with trigger right and left!  Oy.
Baruch Hashem I only slip up once in a while, like once every couple weeks.  Its those times that there just seems to be no eitzah, like I cant just move on without messing up.  I wish there was some way to get myself out of one these times without messing up.  I dont think Im at the stage where I need to do anything severe, but I certainly am not clean.
I have identified 3 triggers: stress, boredom, and issues with my wife (which BH I have a very good relationship, but of course she doesnt know about all this).  I need to come up with ways to deal with these 3 problems without resorting to what I resort to now. 
Any eitzas? 
Also, I now have an accountability partner, but the day that I spoke to him, I had a slip up later on.  How do I use my conversations with my accountability partner to help me out?
P.S. I cant check this site very often, but I appreciate the insights, and I will respond whenever I can.

Regarding issues with your wife, you might find this thread helpful. Lots of AMAZING replies.

Regarding your partner, I suggest you guys discuss the tools of the handbooks, one by one, and see how you can relate to them and which parts you haven't tried yet, and encourage each other to try new strategies...

Be strong!

Just an update, as you can see from the chart, I am now up to level 3!  Luckily I have been busy the past couple weeks, which has helped keep my mind away from temptations.  Hatzlacha to all.

great to hear you're doing good. Let that Pintale SHINE!

Congrats on reaching level3!

Holy Pintale Jew
עלה והצלח
Congragulation and prayers to your continued climb up up up  the ladder of  sanity and holiness >>>>.....................................

Guess what guys?? I messed up.  Ug!  I am so mad at myself.  Especially since I have a filter which blocks 99 percent of the garbage anyway.  This happens all the time, where I am solid for a good month or 2 and then I mess up.  The summer is also hard, because there are triggers non-stop.  Its so annoying because I like the summer but the summer is such a challenge. 
You know what my hardest thing is?  When I get triggered, I feel like I have to do it.  I have to figure out how to handle getting triggered (which of course I try to avoid but they are inevitable) and then still abstain.  Any thoughts? 
Anyway, it's rosh chodesh elul this Thursday, and I am really hoping for a solid month of elul.
Any words of encouragement would be very helpful cuz I am really mad at myself now.

1. Never get mad at yourself again. Never say a mean thing to your self again. Speak in a kind gentle voice to yourself ALWAYS, no matter what you did. You are who you are and you are committed to improving. Getting mad at yourself is VERY counterproductive. From now on you are NEVER going to 'mess up' again.

2. Don't get mad at yourself if you get mad at yourself.

3. Work through the handbooks seriously.

4.Learn to deal with stress. Take out book on the subject.

5.Find something you enjoy and are passionate about for your spare time. Have a holy hobby. One that keeps you from all this stuff.

6. If you problem is only with the internet find fences that will keep you far from trouble and stick to them like it's a matter of life and death.

7. Even if C'V you fall as long as you learn something from the fall and you discover a weakness you are on the path and one step closer.

Thank you holy yid, that was very helpful.
I have heard before about not getting mad at myself.  But I wonder how to do teshuva, and specifically to have charata, without thinking back at what I did and being so upset at what I did.
Do you have any good suggestions for how to de-stress?  
I just wanted to modify this post, because guard sent me an email and suggested that I read principles 24-30 of the attitude handbook, and that really helped.  So I am getting past my recent slip, and ready to go vaiter!

forget about doing teshuva at the moment and focus on bringing your behavior under control. Feeling bad in ways that are not constructive have nothing to do with teshuva. Charta is only feelings that will motivate you to improve nothing more.

For stress ask yourself if you can change the situation. If you can't ask yourself why am I worried about it. Figure out what you can control and what you cannot and focus on what you can control. Also remember that tefila is really what makes the world go round. Also exercising, music, deep breathing and meditation help relive stress.