You'll probably never be just like your friends. The question is, though, HOW different will you be?
That all depends on the actions you take.

Think of an athlete that blows out his knees. The doctor tells him, "Listen, you'll never be able to take the hardwood floor again, but with knee replacement surgery and physical therapy, you'll be able to be a normal person, do regular chores and carry on with your day-to-day life. Or, if you so wish, you can forego the difficult surgery, and hobble around for the rest of you life."
Which course of action do you think the athlete-no-more will choose?

It is unfortunate that life's events have brought you (and me, and all of us here) to the situation you find yourself in, but will you sulk, pity yourself, and give up -- or will you put down your foot and say, "It is what it is, and I'm going to deal with it!

Everybody has his problems in this world which he needs to work on and live with, to some degree. This is mine, and I'm going to live with it and MAKE LIFE AS COMFORTABLE, PRODUCTIVE, AND UNREGRETTABLE AS I CAN" -- just like our athlete!!!

When I joined GUE (or GYE)

90 days was soooooooooooooooo

Unfathomable

I looked at jack

I said maybe him not me

Not shayach!!

I saw yakovschwartz

I read his story

He went 40 days

40 days I had once done before (only to crash and burn and come back with a vengeance and say I'm a loser and hashem hates me and I'm done toast gone rashaaaaaa. Uchhh hate loser rashshshsaaa hate loser what else can I do that's right lussssssst away!)


So I made a goal of 30 days

I kept a log of every 15 minutes

15!!!!!!!!

Do you hear??

I was very hard on myself

Whem I hit 16 days that's when I posted first (thingd were a little different back than)

Work work work

Be happy

Keep on trucking

B

YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AS "EVERYBODY ELSE!"

That said, you know that no one is the same. This person has diabetes, do you know how debilitating that is? This other person is married to an active drug addict. Wow! What a life. Another guy here has allergies to bread and chicken, imagine living that life. You have a God given disease. You don't have to like it (although i'm learning to today) but you have to live with it. Whats it going to be? Are you going to complain about your lot in life or will you look Hashem in the Eyes (as if) and say, BRING IT ON! You can live a happy life with this and make the best of it - and that is not even a stretch! Life is amazing with recovery and sobriety. The less you are enslaved to this the more you have room in your life for other things. Imagine davening without a single fantasy or walking down the avenue without HAVING to look into every store and car window. Its truly a great life.

EBD and SMGW, spot on!

(Fin Barditchev darf menn afile nisht redden...)

Nu, shoin, ch'vel zuggen a puhr verter.

"Der Zchis finem heiligen Barditchever zul Meigin zahn oif inz alle du, in oif alle vus zennen nuch nisht du, az mier zullen zich shoin arois zehn fin dehm tiefen plunter, in men zul kennen dienen dem Bashefer 'ka'asher im levuveini,' in men zul shoin zoiche zahn antkehgen gein Pnei Moshiach Tzidkeini, I'Malkeini b'Roisheini, b'Mheiru b'Yumeini. Umein."

UMEIIIIIIN!!!

"Nu, a Niggen..."

Amen!

beautiful posts here
thanks 2ndchance for bringing out all these pearls with your question

i also struggled with this very question. am i sealed for life as an addict? will it always be a battle? am i different than Moshe, Yankel and Chaim?

The answer can be hard to accept and a tough pill to swallow. But it is the truth. Hashem put you in this spot with His infinite wisdom. Our job is to make the best of it. That is every person's job, to make the best of the situation he is in. The rich man, the poor man, the healthy person, the married person, the bochur, whatever life brings you. Of course it is easier said than done.

With time you will accept it. And with time and effort you will be happy that you are in this spot. You will find that it turned your life from being an 'aimless drive' on a lazy day with occasional flat tires and getting lost and braking down to being a purposeful, fulfilling and gratifying 'journey' to your ultimate destination.

While when pursuing lust the focus is on me me me, what can i get? i need more, i need something different and more exciting.. etc.
That focus and pursuit leaves us as an empty shell. We cannot see outside of our cubicle of desire.

When we realize that our fixation on ourselves is destroying us and there are family, friends, and most of all Hashem, who are part and parcel of our lives we feel the life flowing back into our veins.

The battle will become easier but will never go away. And we are all the better for it. It is Hashem's way of telling us to stop chasing our tails and start living.

So, can we sum it all up in a few simple words?

We can get out of the constant looming struggle & reach a state where we are basically just cruising trucking along.

BUT, we will always be at higher risk than the general population of falling back into the Yetzer Horah's net. We must always avoid those 'gray' areas since we can be sucked into the mud easier than the next guy.





BTW, I was told by "A Gutter Yid" that our effort in these areas does get passed down to our children. They will have an easier time with such nisyonos due to our having toiled to fight this YH! 

If I would believe that this combat is my goal in life (the purpose I was born) the indefinite fighting would be tolerable.
However being that addictions are not a product of the person’s personality (even though the emotions have played a role in making the habit it is not the main reason), it is rather brought upon himself by his despicable conduct. which means that even as he fights successfully, he is using his life to mend the whole he drilled, instead of fixing the things he was destined to repair.
Which sums up that I destroyed myself already and expiring a long and painful death.

Umayn v'umayyyyyn,!!

Many years ago I heard:

In the days of old, a person would just go to a prophet & be told what his individual purpose in life is. Nowadays, he should see in which area the Yetzer Horah makes it the most difficult; that is what HE must accomplish in this world!

The Yezter Horah gave me a preemptive strike. He sucked me into this mess before I even new that it is a sin. no matter how hard I tried to stop, I couldn't resist. I realized then this the area that in which my life's work is, but had no way of attaining it. Now, Thanks to GYE, I am headed in the right direction!

Thanks for the help
there i go again
Busted i knew it will happen
a few days i chatted with bad hiemishe people it killed me
it has to end now
how?

okay so just get back up.
The big book says the obsession of every alcoholic is to drink like a gentelman. The obsession of every lust addict is to lust like a gentelmen. Isnt it a pity i cant peek at porn i cant watch provocotive movies and i cant peek at the pretty candy on the street. What is life all about then.  bh the program gives us a new purpose in life. Then i just act like a torah jew. No hirhurim no histaclus and i am a happy tranquil jew.

starting again the climb
but did not stop FB (deleted but restarted)

its day 35
hope it ends well
i need to start the steps
i just dont have the JUMP

another 4  days to reach my longest streak
HASHEM give me courage
bein hazmanim was always my worst