Today is day one for me.

That may not sound great, but the truth is it's much better than day zero. Kedusha was one of the people that gave me advice on what to choose for a taphsic k'noss.
I chose kappettel 119 as the k'noss like he suggested.

I'm not doing shavuois though. I'm stam doing a kaballah bli neder which should be good enough for me.

Unfortunately I'm used to falling a few times a day, and often I will have to suffer with very strong urges that just don't seem to go away.

everybody has a day 1. and the fact that you are working on yourself and not giving up and wallowing in despair and pity is reason enough to break out the banana liquer!

chazak ve'amatz!

Tzvi, it all starts with day 1, no one ever reached 90 days w/o day 1, so u r on the right path, if u can find out what's the trigger every day and get a solution for it, this should make things much easier, so hang in with us, install a strong filter, get a sponsor/partner and post away , sharing takes off the burden ur shoulder and it gives other people a chance to give u advice which can be a big help at times
We are waiting to see u more often here

Mostly, I don't even think it's a matter of triggers. It's just the urge itself is the trigger i guess.
Usually the urge comes when I know there is somthing i need to do now, which i don't want to do.
I get anxious because I know I should be doing work let's say, or a certain task, and i'm not doing it.  That makes me anxious, and the anxiety brings on a strong urge to act out as an escape.

thanks for posting.

Sholom Aleichem R` Tzvi!!!!


DAY 1 is the most common day!!!  (Every journey started with a Day !!)

That means you are in good company.



BTW, the number after One hundred is.......... 'One Hundred and one'. This can remind us that every day gotta be better than the day before! Every day is a new day.


The way to purify ourselves is to remember the Kohen Godol's avoda on Yom Kippur. He counted, "Achas; achas v'achas; achas v'shtaim".      Always keeping in touch with the Achas - the Beginning !!!


...The day ONE!!!!

Tzvi wrote on 08 Nov 2010 17:32:


Sorry to disappoint you if you were trying to feel unique, but you are describing an extremely common feeling. I, and others around here too, feel exactly the same way!

It is possible to crawl out of it! The urge may start getting easier after a while; they may start coming less often. We learn how to avoid having this urges be the immediate reaction to those feeling that you described.

They will probably not disappear completely, but you will learn how not to act on them!

Tzvi wrote on 08 Nov 2010 15:36:


It doesn't just sound great, it sounds wonderful. 

Tzvi wrote on 08 Nov 2010 15:36:


Tzvi, you may not realize how valuable the post you just wrote is.  Your anxiety is the trigger.  Knowing what is triggering you will help you take steps to stop.  One of the keys to stopping is the ability to reach out to someone.  But often we wait too long to reach out and we reach a point of no-return when we are in auto-pilot.  Knowing that its your anxiety that sets the process in motion allows you to take steps when you see yourself getting anxious before you've turned to lust.  When you see yourself getting anxious:  1)  Turn to Hashem (just talk to Him He's right where you are) to help you confront what you are faced with; 2) reach out to a partner or friend tell them how you are feeling.  Just the ability to get out of isolation will do wonders.  Hatzlocha

Thank you raboisai for continuing to post replies here.

Ok tzvi, my heart goes out for u, I hear you loud and clear, I could have written that exact same post, anxiety was my killer and still is sometimes, on the road now, I will get some time l8r and share with a little more that can help
Keep posting , stay tunes, the good days are ahead of us

Yosef is that an orifinal thought? Its amazing imagine standing on yk asking for one day! I heard there was someone that asked for five seconds of pause. Thats all he needed.

Frumfiend The star wrote on 08 Nov 2010 20:25:


I think I read it somewhere on GYE. Or maybe I heard it from a Rov in Shul. Or maybe I heard it a shiur sometime. Or maybe I thought of it on my own - based on what I read on GYE and heard from my Rov in Shul and at a shiur sometime.

Ikkar hadavar, never underestimate an inspiring comment that you tell someone, it might lie dormant for a while & then sprout forth with inspiration for many others!

starting day 2 be'H

Tzvi wrote on 09 Nov 2010 13:34:


that's the best way to start it!

Right now, i don't feel like I'm going to give in.

However, throughout the day when I get anxious the urge makes me crazy.

I'm not expecting eitzos, but posting helps me get it off my head.

Kot tzvi