Shavua tov, my friend. Hopefully, be seeing you soon!

dov wrote on 12 Nov 2010 15:25:


Momo? Who's Momo? What are you talking about?
Ohhh. MOMO!! Why didn't you say so?!
MY 90 day celebration took place with some very special people.
Momo was present, as was IMT25.
So, does that answer your question?

And since when are you so excited to say goodbye?
And your own name?

all the best,
in the moment,

S

:-* !

Yodeladihu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to remember that things in this world are fleeting.
People are not out to get me.
I am good enough and I am good.
I am living fully in this moment.
I am present.

sturggle wrote on 25 Nov 2010 20:48:

And
I am I.
This is a biggie.

Have a great shabbos, my friend.

Some time has passed since I last posted,
though it hasn't been very long.
I was away for a bit.

I am here to share that I fell.
164 days clean.
I fell out of impulse and was able to keep the fall to a minimum.
It was building up over some time.

Falls happen. It's helping me remind myself that I can get up,
start again, refresh, and move on.
I told my therapist and he was ready to move on.
The y"h might want to dwell and mope,
but life is here to live.

I didn't think I could handle a fall so well,
especially after a considerable period of being clean.
I still feel like I'm moving forward on the journey.
Still climbing upwards. And it's great.

So, now two days clean, I embrace the new week.

b'ahava to all,

Sturggle

was wondering what was doing with u.
happens to the best of us.
sounds like u have the right approach.
like  a yerida l'tzorech aliya!
we can all learn a lot from the bumps in the road.
plz keep in touch.  how bad was the fall? u can e mail me or pm me.

HOW DOES THE REBBE REB BARDS SAY....

FELL SCHMELL!!!

KEEP ON TRUCKIN' AND DON'T NEVER LOOK BACK

and boy, he practices what he preaches...

Hey guys.

Thanks for the responses.
DR! Hey man!

One thing I've been thinking about
is that I couldn't have come this far
without realizing more of HKB"H in my life.
I even feel it now, the difficulty that I'm having,
because I am focusing on me.
Me, me, me. Ego. Eye helped me think about this
as did some other people in my life.

Another interesting thought is that
I've been dating for a few months and
I feel that this fall and thoughts about ssa and what not
get stronger and my feelings in my relationship get weaker
and I think the opposite is true as well.
When I'm feeling good in the relationship,
ssa and impure thoughts are low.
Well, ok, I have her to think about .

On day 4...

sturggle wrote on 03 Jan 2011 08:05:


That's great you can just pick yourself up and keep on moving.  Not dwell on the fall.

Also, good luck with the dating.

--Eye.

yeah, well based on where my head is at right now
and the fact that I was motzi zera both last night and this morning,
maybe im still in the cycle.
after all, once an addict, always an addict.
i do think some of it has to do with my therapist saying
that he doesnt think ive fully committed to being clean,
which if so, then why not just fall?
im not really there, and im working on this,
trying to work on this, figure out how to strengthen
what i know to be a commitment in me to not act out

ok, dov, bring on the mussar...

Leave Mussar for when you're feeling good about yourself.

I know how you're feeling after such a fall... A 'possum run over by an ATV feels better than you do...

Grab some chizuk, trink some Woodford...and for Heaven's sake...and for your sake,

DON'T LOOK BACK

KEEP ON TRUCKIN'

KEEP IN TOUCH

Your friend,

Eli Ben D.

PS You know I never noticed that your name is 'sturggle', I always thought that it was 'struggle'

KOT!!!

EBD

that's right!
i'm not struggling,
i'm sturggling!