ok, first, in response to the last posts...

SB, I'm not so tech savvy either, that's the problem!
Thanks for making some effort anyway.

Momo, I've also been quite busy, and have been thinking of you as well.
I'd really think it will be worthwhile to look into CotS.
I posted about it in the "What works for me" board.
If you want to talk about it, or about anything else,
or even about nothing, please feel free to be in touch.
Hope work is going well, and most importantly,
I hope you are well.

Mom, I was just double checking, not really expecting you to post,
so thanks, I smiled from ear to ear when I saw your post.

Dov, I know you like writing Dovish, so I'm not going to attempt
at deciphering your post, but it seems to me that
you might be hinting that either we're the same age,
or in the same place on our journey,
which I'm not quite sure either are close to the truth.

ok, so, here's today...

B"H, I've been feeling pretty good recently,
and I haven't had many urges to so much as
stare at any passers by.

I've been keeping a steady focus
on the now and working forward.

Today has been a bit shaky.
I started feeling a bit down yesterday
after falling asleep while studying
and I didn't get nearly as much accomplished
as I had hoped. So my mood started dipping,
and today, since I've woken up, I've been
feeling somewhat heavy-hearted.
And, lo and behold, the urge to act out
crept up on me today, but I turned it down,
time and again, even though I did watch some TV
as a let loose activity. I also made some time to learn today,
but that was not so easy.

I have accomplished today and hopefully will continue to do so,
and after asking HKB"H for some help, I feel invigorated,
and the strength to do a few things that I have some fear about
is swelling inside of me. I know what I want, and I can, with
Hashem's help, get there.

Thats beautifull. You are learning how to live. Only under Hashem's wing. Youre inspiring me and many others. These words may seem few but I truly mean them. Your ARE learning how to live and nto just survive. "I've been keeping a steady focus on the now and working forward." Thats very important to have, something I need to internalize. Its greta that your knee-jerk reaction is to turn to Hahsem when you have a problem also.

Really Keep it up!

-Yiddle

TAMSHICH TRAKKING!!

Not that there is anything new or more to say after those two yids, but here's a l'chayim to you for sharing another just plain OK day with us fellows. Mazel Tov! It is precious, isn't it?

Gut voch friends.

Yiddle, thanks for you encouraging words.

Reb B! Thanks for visiting! What was that you said?

And Dov, l'chaim. It is precious. When are you coming to visit EY,
so we can sit and chat for a bit?

Shabbos was a bit challenging for me and I have a busy week,
so I am entering what I think will be a challenging time.
Please, HKB"H, help me get through it. Even when I can't do it on my own.
Especially then.

And, guys, keep the chizuk coming...

Shavua tov! Glad to hear that you made it through a tough week - that's great!

A busy week is difficult for you because it means more stress? If so, look at it this way - B"H, things are busy, yo're occupied with good things...Focus on being happy about being busy...?

SB, that is very fair advice.
I do appreciate being busy at times,
and I will try to implement the positive outlook,

so...,
I fell.

I am honestly a bit down about it,
I was just getting to 30 days clean,
one full month.

I am trying to keep my chin up,
I have plenty what to do and focus on,
so that is helpful and hopefully, soon enough,
I will be another 30 days clean.

For now, I hope to live today fully.
I might have posted this before,
but I think it's worth repeating;
my therapist talks about certain things
that we have control over,
and others that we don't have control over.

The situation that I'm in,
my body and my feelings are not in my control.
My body meaning, what my body might be feeling,
more physically, for example, hungry or sexually aroused.
Feelings are what emotions I am feeling.

What is in my control are
my thoughts and my actions.
So, I hope to take control of those
for the rest of this day
and not allow my actions and thoughts
to get stuck in the uncontrollable box
with my situation, my body, and my feelings.

I wish us all a gut voch.

of course, I need and pray that HKB"H will help me with all of the above

just for the record,
all three of my last posts were written after my fall.
I fell earlier this morning.

sturggle wrote on 14 Mar 2010 08:06:


Sorry to hear about your fall.

Sounds like you are handling it pretty well, though.

--Eye.

Sturggle!

Great that even after your fall, you spoke about how you plan on handling it, very important, it's very easy to slide backwards after a fall and an amazing streak (30)

Try to stay away from the Y"H today in every way possible, the day of/after I believe is the hardest...

Hatzacha Rabbah!

Sorry to read about your sufferring. Looking forward to a sober rest-of-today for all of us.
Still love you, Sturggle
Dov

wow, looks like yesterday was a difficult day for many of us.
I hope that we all are able to appreciate our freedom of today.
let's make the most of it!

Eye, BeStrong, and Dov,
thanks for your posts!
means a lot to me to hear from you guys here.