here's a small clip...

Rage, it's a little flaky, be forewarned...

"i always try so hard to do my very best
but i never learned how to play the game
so why does everybody make so much fun of me
i'm feeling so ashamed
oh, how i wish someone would be my friend
and accept me for the way i am
and together we could play and share
if only somebody would care..."

maybe you think you care,
but do you really want to play and share?

haha...
and what does the policeman say,
keep up the good work,
well, i dont think im doing good work,
but it was funny!

sturggle wrote on 04 Oct 2009 11:59:


You're right. You don't have to. I just thought maybe Uri would call you. I left a message for him to call. I thought that might help.

sturggle wrote on 04 Oct 2009 11:59:


I know and I love it!

sturggle wrote on 04 Oct 2009 12:05:


We are your friends, and we accept you and really care.

I think the 90 day goal is too long. It just pressures me. I try not to fight it head on, because the fight is too hard.

I try to connect myself to G-d by talking to Him and guard my eyes, one day at a time. The days just add up by themselves.

And if I fall after a couple of weeks, way before 90 days, that's OK since it's the overall stats and attitude HaShem wants, not necessarily a 90 days streak.

i hear momo,
you see,
for me, there are underlying issues
that could bring about a fall
i know a fall is the easy way out
and im trying not to go there
but its one of the only "good" ways out i know,
maybe i dont belong here in this forum anyway,
im just really down right now,
maybe not even so down,
im not even sure at this point

Dearest Struggle,

How can you have 824 posts and not belong here? 

You know how it works; once you become a member of our family, we DON'T LET YOU LEAVE. (Add sinister laugh here.)

We belong to each other because we understand each other without judging each other.

Sorry you're having a rough day. Just focus on getting through the rest of the day without doing anything you'll regret later. Tomorrow WILL be better.

Momo wrote on 04 Oct 2009 13:04:


I'm a good flaker...
ahem, sorry, i meant faker...

oh %&*#@%$#% help me, this is so not good...

I'm here for you.

Tell me how I can help you!!!!

C'mon Sturggle, talk to us.

well, let's put it this way,
i know how to fall,
and how to fall hard and good,
but i dont want to,
so i can do the lighter stuff,
ill just slip for now,
but i know what door that opens,
and i dont know how long i can hold,
and i can be real stubborn,
am kshei oref, i am a part and parcel,
whether i like it or not,
so slipping here i come...

i guess HKB"H has other plans for me,
my mother and sister just walked in the door,
but i can still slip,
it just wont be so easy to fall,
thank Gd,
i guess

You just received a hug from HaShem.

You know slipping will lead to a fall, so if you really don't want to fall, don't slip on purpose.

And yes, I did PM 7Up and Guard. Sorry Guard hasn't responded. Being hol hamoed it's quiet on the forum.
I'm trying to hold down the fort, but I'm no Guard.  >

and my mom says,
"your eyes dont look so good,
are you ok?"

maybe i drank too much,
maybe i dried too much,
maybe both...

PLease try not to slip. Its too close a cousin to 'fall'.

GET OUT THE HOUSE. Head to Jerusalem. By the time you get there, you can daven maariv soon, go to simchas beis hashoevas, even just roam the back streeets of Meah shearim and sukkah hop.  The city is alive and beautiful. Soak it in and turn off your mind to all reality other than the wonderful chag in the most wonderful city.