great job on 40 sturggle!
one of my teachers once said a moshol about waiting to get married. she compared it to the waiting room in any office. some people play with the toys- the little immature kids.
some people sit biting their nails waiting and being nervous for their appointment and thinking "oy, will it hurt, will it help, will the doctor be nice..."
some people continually go over to the nurse to say "when is it my turn already?!" and get angry at her

and some people- few and far between- sit with a sefer or a tehillim and calmly do something constructive with their time while they wait their turn. they are calmer than anyone else in the whole office even though they all want to get into the doctor asap and they aren't wasting their time doing something worthless or harmful.

I hope you don't think it's presumtuous for me to say this since i'm engaged but since i'm so newly engaged i still remember the waiting feeling extremely well. it's so tough.
but use the time wisely- and you are
use your time to grow for your wife and kids- and u are
make yourself a better person- and u are!

you're doing it all right, struggle! ain't easy but your being fabulous about it!

i really really like that moshol.
never heard it before.
i think it's print out material

hey, man, congrats on 40...i guess youre like moses now, huh? face all shiney and everything...i said it before, ill say it again...as long as you keep going i can keep going...you are my role model and my inspiration...

keep on keepin on

ratm

What a powerful and beautiful soul, this sturggle has... Hashem has great things in store for you my friend. He's crazy about you!

(Remember he marshmallow experiment.)

where's sturrrrgggle?  ???

Shana tova Sturggle,

Thought of you over YK. 
Wherever you are, hope you are doing well.

i have had a lot ive wanted to post over the last number of days,
i havent had much access to the forum.
B"H, I'm doing alright.
life still has its ups and downs.
am somewhat charged from YK,
but i know for me that can go pretty quickly.
after being away for a few days,
it is difficult for me to start posting again right away.
for now, thank you for your good wishes over the past number of days.
it really meant a lot to me.
rage, my face shined after i read your post

i had a few things i wanted to say about 40,
def special significance going into YK.
well, it's behind us, moving forward now...

i just read letakain's post about the boy getting drunk on purim
it brought tears to my eyes

you see,
i wanted to run away from home,
in the end i felt i had nowhere else to go so i came back,
but back wasnt always good for me
and i was stuck, i got stuck and im only starting to realize that now
ive been stuck for so long, how do i get out?

i wanted to say thank you,
cause its been a long time (if ever)
since ive felt comfortable coming home to share my true feelings
and express my real thoughts...

maybe im getting somewhere...

sturggle wrote on 29 Sep 2009 19:23:


Not maybe Sturggle.
I see such a difference in you over the past few weeks.
I hope im right in thinking that even when you feel down, the dips are not quite as deep as they used to be...?
But either way, youre right. Home is here waiting for you with open arms of acceptance.

sorry mom, you can keep hoping...

im just part of some accountability group
and i have all these ppl who id have to come clean to
and guard made me a deal
and someone made a $90 pledge
so, im still clean...

maybe shorter lived,
but guard is not the only one who can be deep around here

i almost forgot...
there's this guy rage,
who thinks im a model...

i dont know what that has to do with anything...

i think i might have fallen,
if i didnt i want to...
fall fall fall fall fall fall

my heart is black
my soul is gloom
theres no way back
i am to doom

hows that for a poem?

its funny that a post like that is contained in a topic called fresh start,
lo matim

You don't want to fall. The yh wants you to fall. It is all a powerful illusion!!!

Dear Sturggle/Struggle,

Please don't allow yourself to fall any further.  There may have been some mitigating circumstances this time around that won't apply next time.