3 stars...- WHAT ABOUT MOM???????
we want 4 stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guard, did you really think that two weeks ago?
Thanks for your kind words.

I have what to post about today.
B"H, nothing major in the lust category.
Wow, I should read that sentence again and really take it in.
That's something I shouldn't take for granted.

I did feel pain and sadness at points throughout the day.
I wonder if it's alright for me to posting about my underlying issues here
and not focus so much on the sex part of things.
That's not real anyway, but it is coming from a real place.

Any thoughts?

Just something I was thinking about
Otherwise, I'm going to leave off here.
Slichos are early tomorrow.

And again, I will not be around much tomorrow
or after yom tov. I am thinking about all of you
and davening for all of you!!

b'ahava,

Sturggle

shana tova, or as they say in spanish, have a gut gebentched yahr. we'll be prayin for you, bro..

guardureyes wrote on 17 Sep 2009 17:45:

hey!!! I was going to mention that sturggle seemed happier!
oh well.
I'm glad your atittude is so positive now.
and i  think your depression and your addiction were so intertwined that posting about both here is not only ok, it's GOOD

Im not sure if this is what your talking about, but before I was in recovery, I couldn't feel any emotions at alll. (besides for those few lucid moments when I understood what I was doing and then I would be in turmoil , & cry bitterly for hours, feeling sad to the point of pain) I even stopped listening to music, which is something I LOVE. Once I started stopping ( hey, that was weird ) I gradually was able to feel more of my emotions again.
Shana Tova Sturggle! May you only know of happiness and recovery this Yr! With moshiach, besrat hashem

habib613 wrote on 18 Sep 2009 02:31:


I think are would be the right word here.

Habib,
not a knock on you. just a thought. you probably didn't even mean davka "were".

Guys, I'm happy that you are all noticing a positive change.
I am feeling it a bit.
I am also entitled to some good days, no?
A rollercoaster is a rollercoaster. Ups and downs.
And sometimes they're sharp and hair-raising.
You know that feeling when you're stomach feels like it's going to fall out?

Anyway, just stopping in for a sec.
Thinking of you guys...

RATM and Trying,
Amen and thanks for the good wishes.

Ye , and I'm someplace in the middle :D Y'know, when you have no idea wats coming next..

Thx for stopping in sturrgle. 

i really did mean were. but i guess you say i was wrong.
shana tova!

If it's really over, great.
But that's a thought I have had many times in the past.
I've been working on this for a while.
Both the addiction and the depression.
I think there's still a lot of work.
I don't think that's a bad thing, though.
Not going deeper into that at the moment.

I would like to take this opportunity, as others have done,
to ask for mechila from anyone who I may have deliberately or inadvertently offended in a any way,
whether you may be aware or unaware.

As so, I forgive everyone and anyone who has possibly wronged me in any way.

What, you already forgot that PM you sent me? 

But that's Ok, I am not only very humble, I am also very forgiving  :D
It's beautiful to watch your positive attitude lately... Keep it up!

(feel free to vent as well...)

guardureyes wrote on 20 Sep 2009 16:54:


and did you already forget what you responded to me?
the truth comes out... you think/thought i am/was bitter...

Oh yes, now I remember... Hint: Sukkos  




yes, "thought". But not anymore  :D

you should know that your struggle, sturggle, inspired me a number of times through rosh hashana...i think of all the little battles weve seen in this war none is tougher than yours...i recognize the grandour of the challenge youve been presented and i admire the way youve fought...you, hermano, are one hechuva an inspirational jew...

i agree wholeheartedly.
i dont know if any of us really understand the struggles sturggle has daily.
i think i know more than any on this forum,and i stand in awe of this guy.
hes on 35 days!!
its true,he complains sometimes.
but its not really complaining.
this guy cries out.
and hes there for me so so much.
his own problems become like nothing when he hears others are falling.
hes a machine of marvelous middos.
im actually at his house right now and hes reading this over my shoulder,blushing away.
but yea,hes the man.
and his resolve has helped me through my own battles time and time again.
and thats when hes not calling me to check on me.
and with all that he goes through-35 days!!!
baruch hashem we have sturggle,our big brother
-uri