Oh, I get it now.  :D LOL. Sorry for TOTALLY missing it the first time.

Dear chevre...,

I'm feeling better now than I was earlier today. Well, at least I'm thinking better, B"H.

I wanted to say thank you to some of you for your encouragement...
Cleareyes, Yechida, Habib, Letakain, Trying, (Mom, shhhh...), Pintele (even though you've disappeared...), Bardichev, Rage, Uri and Tomim..., oh, right, and Guard!
And to everyone else as well...

FYI,

I am not white-knuckling anything. At least I don't think I am. I have and am seriously considering getting involved in the SLAA 12-steps. I am also seeing a therapist.
On Friday, I sat down and cried most of the session. It turns out that I have a lot of negative voices in my head that are speaking to me and the most positive voice I can muster is "I don't want you to feel bad, I want you to feel good, I want to help, but..., hmm..., shucks, I got nothing..." I have what to learn. For now, your positive voices mean so much to me. (They always will, I just hope to join the ranks at some point.) And no, at the end of day 28, I am not free of lust...

Still clean and hoping to stay that way...
this was supposed to be a day of כח...,
didn't really feel that...
well, i am on the other side of it now.

b'ahava,

Sturggle

Sturggle, good to hear that you are clean and are feeling better. Can anyone seriously be completely free of lust? Keep on going, HaShem is with you and smiling!

is He?
feeling better is a relative thing...
and it is fleeting...

i had a dream last night that we were the A Team. You, sturggle were Mr. T. I was hannibal, uri was face and dov was murdoch...how weird is that?

guard was more than one person.

WHAT ABOUT ME DID YOU LEAVE ME IN FLATBUSH?

sturggle wrote on 15 Sep 2009 12:49:


Every step of the way

Rage AT Machine wrote on 15 Sep 2009 15:48:


i dont mean to date you, but i had to look that one up on wikipedia...
i was born in 83!

oh, and not so weird?
maybe, for you, though, it was...

struggle, i don't know if you just posted now on the emergency thread. YOU OK?
start talking!
HEY everybody! get down here NOW!

i dunno what to say...
and a voice pops and says,
you dont need help,
you dont deserve help...,
just do this alone,
youre alone
:'( :'(

You are not alone. We all are there with you! Most importantly HaShem. Tell the voice, wait one sec. Then you "turn around" and say, "HaShem, I give all my struggles to You. It is up to You to decide what happens. Please do not let me fall."

i love you man.
im pretty low on energy
but let me just say
I LOVE YOU (put in real name here)!!!!!
you are one of the best firemen i know
and dont u forget it
ur always the first to respond on the im about to fall thread
win or lose
doesnt matter
youre a hero anyway
ill try to call soon after i have some chicken soup
-uri

NO! kick that stupid yetzer hara out of the room! out of the house! kick him to the next universe!
i'm so angry at him- my keyboards getting a beating- HOW DARE he start up with you so close to R"H!!!!!!! >
i'm gonna smash him into smithereeeeeeeens!!!!!!!

get up! Get away from the trigger/s!
Take a deep breath!
Think "this is not me- this it the Y"H! i am better than this! i've succeeded in the past and i'm going to succeed again!

and call someone! NOW!