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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: fresh start 79539 Views

Re: fresh start 13 Sep 2009 22:36 #17642

the.guard
Current streak: 805 days
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PESONALLY IF I WOULD OF HAD TO ATTEND A GROUP I WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN ADDICTED

Or maybe you never really WERE addicted in the first place

. Maybe all you needed was just to find out that you're not crazy and not alone, and that other heilige gevalidiggggge yidden go through the same as you did and have succeeded in breaking free... Since that's all you needed, the forum worked for you like a CHARM. (Please don't be insulted that I don't consider you a REAL addict. You can still be a Tzadik in my eyes ;D).

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.

Last Edit: by CG9742.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 00:41 #17649

Rage AT Machine	guardureyes wrote on 13 Sep 2009 22:36: all you needed was just to find out that you're not crazy what? guard, are you paying ANY attention here?
	Last Edit: by Anewday.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 03:27 #17661

bardichev	Rage AT Machine wrote on 14 Sep 2009 00:41: guardureyes wrote on 13 Sep 2009 22:36: all you needed was just to find out that you're not crazy what? guard, are you paying ANY attention here? I AM DRIFTING IN AND OUT OF FLAKINESS
	Last Edit: by jb84.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 08:52 #17693

TrYiNg

Hey Habib.

and yechida. and anyone else reading this...

I just read this post now, didn't have much of a chance to get to it before...
it sounds like your low self esteem mainly came from your acting out.
for me its a vicious cycle, but i think the low self esteem came first.
im not over it. im clean for now but im not free of inappropriate thoughts and staring is an issue for me as well.
im also feeling down. i think for a number of us here, but of course, i can only speak for myself, the acting out is an escape, so when we stop that and confront that, things dont necessarily become easier.
i dont want to go into this too much b/c i dont want to give my thoughts too much validity.
it is a challenge for me to move forward, do anything with myself many a time.
everytime i have something of some importance to do, i can get sidetracked very easily.
i know that i need to just stop thinking and push forward...

im really not in the mood to post at all right now, but after i read what you wrote, i figured id respond.
and maybe its better for me to write something anyway..., dunno

sorry for posting like this here, but i wanted to respond to you and i think my thread was taken over by aliens...
i hope its ok that i crashed here for a bit, prob not the best example of a big bro for his little sis, i hope you forgive me

also, guys (and gals), about all this video watching and scary things going on the world, it's true, its out there,
and to each his own, if were mischazek, great, if it scares us and gets us down, then dont watch it,
also, slightly related..., i dont know if youve heard...,
but an F-16 crashed yesterday..., in darom har chevron...
asaf ramon, the pilot, died in the crash, he was ilan ramon's son, the israeli astronaut who died on the columbia...
both father and son, representing their nation, flying up and crashing down...
i hope that i can keep my jet flying in their honor...
again, sorry for being so depressing, just sharing whats on my mind. (maybe i shouldnt?)

if anyone feels i should move this post elsewhere, feel free to say so...
and if anyone is going to respond specifically to me..., do it on my thread, wall of honor, fresh start...

sturggle

Sturggle, about that pilot, it is depressing...we want moshiach now...
All your questioning in your post, (about posting or not posting...etc) shows a low self esteem , in my opinion. Gotta work on it. Theres no way you get anyplace in life , that way.

Last Edit: by helloworld.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 09:05 #17695

Sturggle Current streak: 178 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1706 Karma: 1	oh, thanks, as if i didnt already spell it out... I HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM dont respond..., not worth it
	Last Edit: by subjective1.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 09:31 #17696

TrYiNg	ok. not responding jst wanted to say , i'm sorry. Didn't mean anything. And I don't know why you would have low self esteem. You sound so intelligent and articulate in your posts. Humorous too
	Last Edit: by kabalah.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 12:27 #17726

habib613

I just read this post now, didn't have much of a chance to get to it before...
it sounds like your low self esteem mainly came from your acting out.
for me its a vicious cycle, but i think the low self esteem came first.

that can def be harder to get over, but since you brought it up...
well last night was hard. my self-esteem hit pretty low. so maybe i'm not all better. but hey- it's been a while. which is happy. but low self esteem felt like an old friend, and it was comfortable feeling low again. and now i'm realizing that sometimes i just used it as an excuse to give up. and working on myself in the area of lust addiction helped my low self esteem because i didn't act out, and also because once i was fighting, i just pulled myself together and tried to control myself better in other areas as well.

im not over it. im clean for now but im not free of inappropriate thoughts and staring is an issue for me as well.

over what? the addiction or your self esteem? I'm not over either one yet. and i know for a fact that your way farther along in your 90 days than i am. go sturggle!!!!!!

im also feeling down. i think for a number of us here, but of course, i can only speak for myself, the acting out is an escape, so when we stop that and confront that, things dont necessarily become easier.

easier in what way? who said my life was easy? k, it is better than my mom's friend, who is on oxygen and can't get off it for more than a couple of min at a time. way better (thanks Hashem for that) but i also use acting out to escape. and i still want to.

i dont want to go into this too much b/c i dont want to give my thoughts too much validity.
it is a challenge for me to move forward, do anything with myself many a time.
every time i have something of some importance to do, i can get sidetracked very easily.
i know that i need to just stop thinking and push forward...

give your thoughts validity? seriously? your thoughts are really serious. some people even pay other people to give thier thoughts validity (it's called therapy) because everyone needs their opinions validated at some points.
so here you go:
struggle (yes i spelled it right

) you are a good guy. You try your best. you work hard. and you're there for your friends when they need you. i don't know much about your life off the forum, but most things indicate that you're pretty nice.
so i'm gonna tell you a secret. _{life is hard}
and it's supposed to be.Hashem tailor fit each of our nisyonos to our neshama.
maybe low self esteem is part of your struggle. maybe you're supposed to use it to grow. maybe you need it to understand someone else's pain.
i have no idea.
and getting sidetracked easily- i've heard that one recently it's called procrastination. and everyone does it when they don't want to do something they have to do. sometimes that something in getting out of bed. realizing that it's silly to wait cuz you're gonna have to do it later anyways sometimes helps

so sturggle, read my quotes and ;D. you'd be surprized. someone may just smile back. or maybe Hashem will. ;D

Last Edit: by Calmaroc.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 13:09 #17737

Sturggle Current streak: 178 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1706 Karma: 1	Habib, I'm thinking of a befitting response. First off, thanks. And sorry I took up that space on your thread. sturggle
	Last Edit: by gyemember6.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 13:30 #17741

habib613	i just realized that i might have sounded a drop charif. i'm sorry about that. didn't mean to. promise.
	Last Edit: by Matterhorn.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 13:36 #17746

Sturggle Current streak: 178 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1706 Karma: 1	Nah, not really. Actually made me ;D. I'm feeling a bit better now, so I might be able to take it anyway...
	Last Edit: by evedhashem18.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 14:35 #17762

habib613	k, good. glad you're feeling better.
	Last Edit: by Theodore.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 15:08 #17770

the.guard
Current streak: 805 days
OFFLINE
Moderator
Posts: 6438
Karma: 138

RATM wrote:

what? guard, are you paying ANY attention here?

I thought I was... Did I misunderstand something? You (RATM) wrote:

were not gonna break a 15 year addiction with posts on a forum (and, in my case, bourbon)...wer'e white knucklin it bro and it aint gonna work...

And Bardichev replied:

I TOO WAS EXTREMELY APPREHENSIVE OF HAVING TO JOIN A SA TYPE GROUP

I DO GO AGAINST THE GRAIN HERE

AND I ARGUED THIS WITH SOME SENIOR MEMEBERS HERE

PESONALLY IF I WOULD OF HAD TO ATTEND A GROUP I WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN ADDICTED

BIG TIME

HAVING SAID THAT

IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN WHITE KNUCKLE IT DO IT!!!

And what Bardichev meant to say (and I'm not sure if he was clear enough), was that for HIM, white-knuckling it worked and he never needed an SA group. Not only that, but he made even a claim that had he joined a group he would have still been addicted! (I don't understand that one, but not everyone can be yored lesof da'ato of the "Rebbe")

So, to Bardichev I replied, that he was not a real addict. All he seemed to need (and this is clear from his posts in the past, which you may or may not have seen) was just to find out "that he's not crazy and not alone, and that other heilige gevalidiggggge yidden went through the same as he did and succeeded in breaking free". Once he saw that, the forum worked like a charm for him and he didn't need much more. But I am suggesting that for others, who are more addicted, his approach would probably not be sufficient, as you RATM seemed to catch.

Did I misunderstand something here, or was I perhaps misunderstood?

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.

Last Edit: 14 Sep 2009 15:11 by jackdweck.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 15:13 #17771

jerusalemsexaddict

STURGGLE!!!!!!
coming from somebody who knows sturggle in person and pretty well
HE IS A GEVALDIGE GEVALDIGE GUY
im serious.
hes very sensitive to everyones pain
sometimes i dont let on how pained i feel cause i dont want him to have to feel it too
he made an emergency trip to yerushalayim on thursday night to pull me out of my bad mood and had to take my bad mood for the next several hours(and make him eat a bowl of chulent even though he wasnt at all hungry:) )
hes always available
he always wants to help
a pure tzaddik i tell you
i love you man

-uri

Last Edit: by mmm.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 15:17 #17773

habib613

habib613 wrote on 14 Sep 2009 12:27:

struggle (yes i spelled it right

) you are a good guy. You try your best. you work hard. and you're there for your friends when they need you. i don't know much about your life off the forum, but most things indicate that you're pretty nice.
...
maybe low self esteem is part of your struggle. maybe you're supposed to use it to grow. maybe you need it to understand someone else's pain.
i have no idea.

i guess i was right

i'm always right (mostly

)

Last Edit: by sdjoey79.

Re: fresh start 14 Sep 2009 15:26 #17775

Rage AT Machine	guard, you were right on as always...i was making a joke (see disclaimer below) calling bardy crazy, if you will...it was a bad joke and i condemn myself for making such a not funny offensive joke about a real swell guy...as they say in hollywood, i apologize to anyone who may have been offended by my remark which was not intended to offend anyone (hollywood's sad excuse for an apology)...
	Last Edit: by kosherjew.