hi tzadik,
what an honor to have you stop by and post in my humble thread

with many thanks to the One Above, i am doing good today.

i joined Dov In Israel's call two weeks ago. i like his style and presentation - Thank you Dovii!!

he is up to Step 4. I should apply for a grant for addiction research. what happens if an addict starts at Step 4? does he become more messed up than he was already?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am about to embark on that very journey... my last will and testament is in the top right drawer under the secret stash of Jelly Belly's.
(i do hope to use this cycle as a 'warm-up' and then start from Step 1 the next  time around)

and now to impart some wisdom to the drunken sailors and truck drivers (if you are sober please skip):

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
-- W. C. Fields

You can't always judge by appearances:
the early bird may have been up all night.
-- Anonymous

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read.
But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
-- Lily Tomlin

To keep your marriage brimming,
with love in the loving cup,
whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
-- Fisher

Zemmy how are you doing?

thanks for asking
doing good, baruch hashem

working on thinking and being aware that hashem is in charge of outcomes and i am along for the ride, not in the driver's seat
repeating it and thinking it have helped me deal with situations in a much better manner than previously
thank you for all your help with this issue as well

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 31 Mar 2011 21:20:



Wow!  This is powerful.  Come to think of it, we can't even be backseat drivers.

This can really take the fizz out of a potential anxiety causing matziv.

geshmak

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 31 Mar 2011 21:20:


That's great!

--Eye.

world and Eye,
thanks for checking in

still working on Step 4. a friend of mine called it 'hara kiri', and i agree with his assessment.
i am not sure why the worksheets seem to ask for resentments and fear while the Step seems to ask for a detailed moral inventory of my entire life. in the book '12 Steps and 12 Traditions' there is a long checklist with detailed questions.
it is painful to face things from the past that were never properly dealt with. and trying to stuff them back into the closet doesn't seem to work too well. but it feels good to face them, as hard and painful as they may be.

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 04 Apr 2011 16:11:

just to clarify, this is referring to the OA version of the 12 & 12...

tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot

ich hub gehert....

music to my ears
בקמים עלי מרעים תשמענה אזני

The ice cream truck is here.
du du du du du du du tu du
du tu du tu
du tu dudu du du du du du du tu du
du tu du tu
du tu du
du tu du tu
du tu du tu
du tu du tu
du tu du tu

Yay!

WOW.  Step 4.  Good luck.

--Eye.

Hey Zem,  When I first did a step 4, I got all worked up about it.  I didn't understand what I was even being asked to address.  My sponsor suggested some things that helped, but not really that much.  It seems to make more sense now after doing a few.

You bring out the toot in all of us.

hi 1daat, so nice to hear from you. how are things?
and here's a toot for you too

just thought i would take a small break from the sometimes morbid 4th Step and post a little about Kelipos and Hamtaka.
some wisdom i recently was mekabel from Mrs.Zemiros.
here goes:
Avoid the kelipos! that brings about a hamtaka (sweetening).
Peirush Hasulam: when eating grapefruits, avoid eating the membranes enclosing the flesh, that way the bitterness is greatly reduced and it actually tastes good. try it. it works.
(don't forget to buy only shmura 18-minute hand grapefruits for Pesach of course)

another thing:
this is a shout-out to my esteemed chavrusa of ten years who recently deciphered my screen name
Hi! see you tonite iy'h

The past year has been different than most of the years of my life until now. Greater awareness, hope, a shared struggle, a glimpse of some truly precious neshomos who populate GYE, a feeling of belonging to a group of truly good people, an entirely new perspective on relating to the RBSO. With much deep gratitude to Hashem Who has bestowed His kindness on me and has kept and protected me for the past year and drawn me along His path to grow and live in a truer way, part of that being keeping a distance from lust, both online and off.
Please continue to shower me with kindness and protection and guide me and lead me along the path of growth and true living.

I am indebted and humbled by the friendship and kindness of His worthy shelichim,
Guard shlita,
my call leader: Dov in Israel,
my original GYE-friend who wears Brill shoes and drinks banana liquer, you are a true friend and i learn so much from you and i hope to finally find the right park bench where we can shmooze for a week or two...
all my dear and precious friends on GYE, Ovadia, Bardichev, Yosef Hatzadik, Tzadik90, UAJ, MovingUp, HashemSoldier, Blind Beggar, World, An Honest Mouse, Ben Durdaya, yechida, and more. You help me in so many ways and you are each a blessing in your own way.

being clean in practical terms sometimes means only that the options and factors needed for a fall just weren't in place and while it is precious and good, it is not the final solution we seek. What we seek is a change of attitude coupled with a change of habits/behaviors. Inner change takes time, and time takes time... and effort. and perseverance. I pray that I never think i am done / fixed / all-better, rather that i continuously grow and move up, becoming a better person, a true yid and to build a real relationship with Hashem.

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 14 Apr 2011 18:45:


Amein.  And may the RBSO gives us the strength and ability to be right there growing with you.  Thanks for the special ta'am and Zemiros that you bring to GYE.