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Zemmy's story

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Zemmy's story 106982 Views

Re: Zemmy's story 23 Mar 2011 16:40 #101733

ZemirosShabbos
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some very helpful quotes from the Honorable Honest Mouse נ"י
thank you AHM!

an honest mouse wrote on 22 Mar 2011 13:25:

I have to remember that im totally dependant on Hashem and that even a quicky 5 mins of acting out here and there is having deadly ramifications on my ability to really live my life and connect to the people in my life.

an honest mouse wrote on 23 Mar 2011 14:04:

I can try and elaborate.

The way i see it, there are 2 things with the 5 mins. Firstly, it often can be a trick to lure you in and make you feel like it will only take 5 mins, but u get pulled in and it can keep going - theres no telling how much of my life i will now waste even though i think it will only be 5 mins.

Secondly, even if it is only 5 mins - it has ramifications. The guilt that you describe, at least for me decreases the quality of my life in many ways. If i act out the 5 mins before my chavrusa, i cant concentrate properly, i have a bad seder and ive ruined it for my chavrusa as well, coz im not all there.

If I do it at work, im not as efficient and my drive to succeed has gone, which is unfair to my boss, makes me look bad and overall if it happens at all often, im jeapordising my parnosoh for my family.

Lastly, it makes me look negatively at my wife, i look at her with a lust analysis instead of a life partner analysis.

In all areas of my life, while the after effects are still in place it makes me tread water instead of swim. I stop actually living and im only exisiting and getting by.

In short, it prevents my development as a decent human being, eved Hashem, husband and father.

Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ

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Re: Zemmy's story 23 Mar 2011 18:33 #101762

ben durdayah Current streak: 49 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder No, that is not a mouse... Posts: 1253 Karma: 5	Moiradigge Verter! Shkoiach Mouse! Shkoiach Zemmy! E
	For Dov and the other two guys who care, My real name really is Eli Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee Last Edit: 23 Mar 2011 18:54 by .

Re: Zemmy's story 23 Mar 2011 18:48 #101764

Yosef Hatzadik OFFLINE Platinum Boarder A GYE'er since 2010 Posts: 2986 Karma: 10	ben durdayah wrote on 23 Mar 2011 18:33: Shkoiach Guard! (Where's Yosef HaTzaddik?) www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=650.msg101739#msg101739
	*Yosef Hatzadik's Ha'oros* *Tov veyoshor Hashem al kein yoreh chata'im baderech!* Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 23 Mar 2011 18:55 #101765

ben durdayah Current streak: 49 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder No, that is not a mouse... Posts: 1253 Karma: 5	I knew you'd take the bait! You're gevaldiggggggggggg!
	For Dov and the other two guys who care, My real name really is Eli Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 23 Mar 2011 19:06 #101767

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	ben durdayah wrote on 23 Mar 2011 18:55: I knew you'd take the bait! fishing is by permit! >
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 23 Mar 2011 19:09 #101768

ben durdayah Current streak: 49 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder No, that is not a mouse... Posts: 1253 Karma: 5	I got my fishing and hunting license directly from Billy the Kickboxing Instructor/Assistant to the Deputy Director In Training of the DPW of Bardsville County! Don't tell me it's not valid on your thread!
	For Dov and the other two guys who care, My real name really is Eli Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 23 Mar 2011 19:39 #101774

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	as long as it has a hologram image of the Rebbe Reb B's gefilte fish and his possum flanken it should pass muster
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 24 Mar 2011 00:57 #101813

Sophomore	Why is it that I start wandering around the territory and end up finding a coupl'a meshugginers trapped in a hunting lodge or something. Should I be worried about guarding something beyond just my eyes, or did I just find a stray moment of levity in the context of a lot of GYE work.... I'm gonna hafta get a better road map.
	Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 24 Mar 2011 14:34 #101862

tzaddik90 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 668 Karma: 1	just checking in oy, if only this thread was inbreak free, i wouldnt need to click one extra time to come here kinda like my life-if i just got up 15 min. earlier, i'd be ontime for shacharis every day.....sounds so simple wimple pimple dimple simple Gimpel
	Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 24 Mar 2011 14:41 #101865

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	public service announcement: last call for breakfast in the Lodge Dining Room, come get your scrambled lobster eggs with green coffee and porcupine waffles before we start serving lunch. special discount if you have pimples dimples or are named Gimpel. Sophomore's get special rates, check your hunting and fishing license for a Soph logo.
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 24 Mar 2011 14:43 #101866

tzaddik90 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 668 Karma: 1	magilacutty! what r u doing in a place like this?!!!
	Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 24 Mar 2011 15:50 #101876

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	vuss is duss 'magilacutty'? is he 45th or 48th? r' aron or r' zalman leib? monsey or bnai brak? mir or brisk? harvard or yale?
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .

Re: Zemmy's story 25 Mar 2011 11:01 #102020

tzaddik90
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zem, this one's hot off the press

i honor you BECAUSE you are honorable (and because i forgot which thread was discussing this just an hour ago...or was it the chizuk email? or shili rand?...):

30)-If we cannot clearly see how recovering in any addiction is immediately connected to every single fiber of becoming great and successful as Torah Jews (which is a gross misunderstanding), then we have not become further from the truth. To explain:
As religious Jews, we say everyday in shoneh esray "p'sach libi bisorasecha". We all express interest in improving in various areas of yiddishkeit, such as Torah study, tefillah, shalom bayis, or emunah. The Gra (Even Shleimah 2,1) says that attainig these things is not possible in any signifacant sense, until we first stop molding our lives around ta'avah. Not only do we say "p'sach libi bisorasecha" specifically for God to help us stop craving for constant self-pleasure (Gra there), but the Gra goes further to say (from medrash Tanna Dbei Eliyahu 26) that before one concentrates on this prayer, he should be concerning himself with prayer to God to help him stop running so much after pleasure, and to recover from his wild ta'avos.
The idea that the Gra says (there) is that it is not possible for a person to really toil to become a Torah scholar, a giving husband, or father, when our mental state is always concerned with whatever we desire to help us sit and self-pleasure ourselves in our homes.
In order to get up with alacrity and become a selfless person instead of a selfish one, and to do real service for Hashem and for our families, we have to get rid of living in this mental state and purge it from our lives. Then, one can (dare to) open his mouth in prayer to ask God to assist him in opening his heart to the Torah, AFTER he himself has done his own prerequisites.
We often cannot relate to the amazing selfish acts that we hear Gedolim did in the stories at the shabbos table. We feel this has no remote connection to our own miserable level. We often forget that it was years of work in areas such as ridding themseves of this mental state, to be able to "create" those stories and be so selfless for klal yisrael, their talmidim, and families (on this idea, see "Eye of the Storm" by R' Ahron Feldman).

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Re: Zemmy's story 25 Mar 2011 11:09 #102021

bardichev	Particularly prolonged post.
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Re: Zemmy's story 27 Mar 2011 08:50 #102125

tzaddik90 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 668 Karma: 1	ggggggggggooooooood morning rebby zem! how are u and your struggles today? what are they? how are u faring? what wisdom can u impart onto us drunken sailors today? aaarhg, off in port she blows
	Last Edit: by .