Well if you must know I'm the one with the lust bumper sticker. And my front bumper says "feeling stressed, throw a dead possum at someone". ZS glad to hear all is going way and your beautiful zemer.

ur-a-jew wrote on 03 Jan 2011 17:20:




tempted to add that bumper sticker to my profile...

UAJ, i just gave in to that temptation... felt powerless, really, it's a certain power possums have...

Yep, see there he went rippin' down this here road

One of them confounded city boys in one of those new fangled Japanese Cars...howdie y'all say Lexsan?

No he didn't ask for no money, he yelled somethin' like ...Keep On Luckin' or Truckin' somethin' like that yeah, Truckin -that's it!

So like I was sayin' he comes rippin' round the bend, not lookin' where he wuz gwain, and he just chucked a possom out of his window...yesirree, I ai'nt playin' withya...

Lookee hear, he didn't even run it over, so I didn't have to scrape it off the double yeller line...even better than the usual Monday night roadkill....

Fer Real!!! I'm not puttin ya on...we're eatin some real meat tonight so will ya put some wood in the oven and get crackin 'fore I get my carbine assembled? I'm gwain out to the General Store to get me a jug of Woodford and I 'spect that possom to be well done by the time I get back...

H'mm, maybe I'll be able to pick up a 'coon or two on the side of the road for some hors de voors

are you an einikel of Judah Benjamin? :

My elter Zaidy's name was Juda, but they spelled it without an 'h' at the end.

(Actually, I doubt that he ever spelled his name in Latin characters... The Austro-Hungarian empire spelled his name without an 'h' at the end...there, that's much more accurate).

Why? Did he leave a large estate? I could do that...

nahhhh, he was just lucky enough to be on the Woodford side of the Mason-Dixon

And here i thought I was gonna be able to quit chasin' road kill for supper and set me up with a multi million dollar fast food chain -I was gonna call it 'Possom and Woodford', and offer all diners free WIFI hookup to GYE...

Oh well, might as well reassemble that combine... winter is good hunting season, and maybe I'll find that confounded wabbit that ol' Uncle Elmer was tellin' me about.

P.S. On a serious note -in the 'country' (you know which one I mean...) there is actually a real live hotline system by which the Po-lice inform people who have registered on a waiting list to be the proud and lucky recipients of whatever unfortunate deer have run into (a usually more unfortunate) motor vehicle. The only condition is that the recipient has to promise that he'll get there within a certain amount of time from receiving the call, or else he loses his turn.

Shucks, that's no sweat -see, I'll just get behind the wheel of my trusty souped up '73 chevy pick-up and I'll be there in a jiffy. Even if there's traffic on Route 52 -I'll just put my green cherry light on the roof and whiz by all those geeks waitin' behind old Mrs. Jefferson who's tryin' to make a left into the Wendy's drive-in - What's bein' a volunteer fire fighter about anyways, parades on the Fourth of July? Hail No!

Why did the deer attempt to cross the road?

To get onto Lester Jr.'s dinner plate!

On a more serious note -Even the deer that don't survive the collision, or die shortly thereafter are usually not so mangled by the collision, cause the cars never manage to run them over.

EBD

U made me lahfff

U made me sill my non-alcholich woodford coffee

Any how

In bardstown

Billy the kick boxing instructor is also assistant deputy supervisor in training of central dept.of public works. Land management and animal control

There fore he has first digs on road kill

Heeee Hwaaaaaw!! 

Dang! Guess I'll have to go peelin' coons off a the double yellow line...else I'll have to make a GULP parve chulent!

You say Yee HaaW? I say Oy Veiy (That's what those summer residents say instead of Yee Haw...I think).

BTW -that Chevy pickup isn't really a '73, just every Saturday when the hicks are bored they sand down the sheet metal with a power-sander ($399.99 at Wal-Mart if you're a member of Sam's Club), prime with primer ($49.99 a gallon, ditto), paint ($59.99 a gallon, ditto) with a professional compressor ($599.99, ditto it doubles as a generator if you fill up the kerosene attachment for available for just $99.99), put on sealant ($37.99 a gallon, ditto), and basically it turns out that they change the whole body and all the kishkes of the truck once every 2-3 years, at double the cost of a new pickup.

(See how much money you save by being a Shoimer Shabbos? You could fargeen yourself a few CASES of Woodford every year for that price! And then they wonder why only Schneider the banker and Epstein the jeweler have a Caddy with vanity plates...)

Ben you really have a talent! ROFL



i see a showdown coming

Roadkill Knockdown: Lester Jr. vs. Billy the kickboxing DPW guy
bain hazmanim 5771 in Bardstown Stadium
for tickets call Guard
all proceeds to tzedaka

Possum toss

Kickboxing

Woodfording

Novardiker niggun auditioning

truck racing

ice cream scooping

sushi wrapping

pink gevaldigggggg tournament

You forgot to write that it's going to be:

Motzei Shabbos Nachamu (so that we get those city slickers with the cool fur hats)

Seperate and Family Seating Available. (Well maybe if I can get her to marry me we'll be family, but I can always tell the guy at the gate that she's my sister, that's what I do by the ChalaMoied events in Brooklyn College!!!)

Mechitzah LeMeHadrin (We may be hicks, but we've learned who butters our bread and what makes them tick).

BeIshur HaRabonnim HaGeonim (See here Lester, I don't know what in consternation that means, but when they see those words they seem to go bazooka! So jes' put it in that here billboard ad, and gwain withit before I get this here carbine reassembled)

KEEP ON TRUCKIN'

Stadiummmms are assur!!!!

Yevooonim!!!!!


The only sport we play are kugelech!