bardichev wrote on 24 Nov 2010 05:59:


now i do not understand something:
i thought in Bardstown even the skunks drive trucks and drink Woodford and wear geblimta beckishes so how could you almost run over one? must have been on its way to the shteibel or the liquor store...

in shul last night i took out a gemara, a new print with all the bells and whistles. i looked in the front page to see who donated it and was pleasantly surprised to read the inscription.

it was donated anonymously as a zechus for all the people who did not leave any children in the world after they were niftar.

it was heartwarming to see such an altruistic act of kindness.

פרשת וישב

אֵין שַׂר בֵּית-הַסֹּהַר, רֹאֶה אֶת-כָּל-מְאוּמָה בְּיָדוֹ, בַּאֲשֶׁר ה' אִתּוֹ; וַאֲשֶׁר-הוּא עֹשֶׂה, ה' מַצְלִיחַ
the heilige Ropshizter Rebbe said that until the moment he was niftar the Yetzer Hara did not know that he was not on his 'team'. he fooled the Yetzer Hara. he did things in a way that the YH thought that he was doing it for the YH's benefit.
similarly, some people are inspired and feel like they are 'chapping malochim'. problem is that they make sure that everyone else also knows that they are super-ultra-frum by making a whole show.
this is what the pasuk is saying, ain sar bais hasohar roeh es kol meumah ... ba'asher Hashem ito, Yosef was constantly dovek to Hashem but the people around him did not see it. he acted with tznius and did not trumpet his madreigos.

ליקוטי אמרי חיים

i recently told my wife of my struggles with lust. she was very supportive and understanding, for which i am very grateful. it caused me to realize something, which is not a new idea but it brought it home to me in a more tangible way.

up until now in her eyes i was a guy who did not look at women and was careful with my eyes. sounds pretty good. a model of yiras shomayim. (ha ha). but in reality i was far from that. i might not have looked at women if i knew they would notice, but if no one was watching, boy did i look at women . so i feel that i failed as a husband. yet my wife still accepts me and claims to be impressed that i faced the facts and am trying to be on-guard. i am somewhat surprised that she accepts me as i am. but this may be rooted in a 'perfectionist' view. i.e. if i'm not perfect i'm nothing.

thankfully neither she nor the RBSO subscribe to that theory.

it can be very hard to accept that i am not perfect (or at least average) and not only not perfect but also big-time messed up. addicted to lust. a little looking, a little thinking about lust, a little reading about lust can cause a major crisis. i am not like every other regular guy on the street. i am hyper-sensitive to lust. like a guy with asthma, for him a little more air pollution can be critical. same for me, a piece of clothing, a fully dressed woman, any slight 'mention' can set me off fantasizing. certainly not a 'normal' reaction. rather a product of years of association. definitely not perfection but definitely true.

BEAUTIFUL vort! I love it, I'm gonna use that at the shabbos table. (along with your zemiros of course!)and...

nice thought regarding Hashem & your wife, I wonder why we are all so hooked up on prefectionism? maybe its all those years looking for the 'perfect' woman...uch...

thanks AHM!

about perfectionism, i would like to think that it stems from our having a neshoma that is only satisfied with being close to Hashem and He is perfect and we misconstrue those feelings and turn them against ourselves...
but what do i know?

KICKBOXING

WOODFORD  CHOLINTADE  CHIORPRACTICE

DOES ANYONE REMEBER WE USED TO DISCUSS ICE CREAM SUSHI AND AVATARS


NOVARDIKKERS

and flakes

ומודה ועוזב ירוחם 

flakes is not in the glossary yet.  what is it????

from the context it was used in it seems to mean someone who is emotional and not ashamed of the fact

Perfectionism is a symptom of an addict, we want things OUR way, and we run over everyone in our way to accomplish it the way WE want and that makes us feel good, and we still go around and add on our resume this as a good part of us, what a bunch on nuts we addicts are

what you are saying rings true JIP. a great part of any addiction is a deep selfishness. 'I' need my fix. and that feeling of self-primacy grows with time. and being self-centered and doing ruinous things leads to sadness. the best way to gain simcha is to work towards a goal and to help others.

and while you will find addicts often being perfectionists, it does not mean that all perfectionists are necessarily addicts. IMHO.

imho?
is that in the glossary?
what is it???

"In My Humble Opinion."

You probably haven't heard it much because most of us don't have opinions that we are terribly humble about. So some people say IMO. But it's not nearly as elegant for bulletin-board-readers as IMHO, which has a nice catch of sarcasm to it.

Briut wrote on 28 Nov 2010 21:28:


git gezookt