Day 6 of many, many:

Had a couple of urges late last night, and, inexplicably, my browser ceased to function when I keyed in some undesirable terms into the Google Images search bar...
I got the memo, and was appreciative that the Tatte is watching over me and doesn't want me to fall!

Eved Hashem (wannabe) wrote on 27 Dec 2010 05:33:
Wow. Yeah, for me it's incredibly invigorating to see such clear signs that He's here and jumping in to support us. It gives me chizuk that our hishtadlus doesn't have to be a 99.9% in order for Him to love us and take care of us. I feel bad sometimes that I'm expecting a miracle every day, but feel tearfully grateful when He both performs the miracle and lets me into the theatre to see the action.

Is that sorta part of what you were describing? Do I have it right?

Eved Hashem (wannabe) wrote on 27 Dec 2010 05:33:

Great you can see so clearly that Hashem is watching after you.
And even greater you can take the hint!

Day 8 of many, many more, be"H:

???? ??' ?? ??? ?? ????? ????!!!

I thanks you Hashem for everything -- for the obvious good as well as the perceived bad!!!

Day 9 of many, many more, be"H:

For those who understand Hebrew, here's an inspiring lecture on the subject of Shmirat Einayim from R' Zamir Cohen Shlit"a of Hidabroot.

hidabroot.org/MediaDetail.asp?MediaID=10540

9 days is awesome, i think im on 11.
keep on going. remember that we have to daven to hashem to help us when we get urges. for me, things that helped me get to the realization of always asking for hashems help was working on teffilah and also lots of torah torah torah!
KOT

Day 10 of many, many more, be'H:

Ei ei ei ei eiiiii...

Those days where everything in the street is a trigger have finally arrived. The most modestly dressed women get my testosterone to spike. The Y"H at its worst. Crazy. I have it every single time. I go from one day being in a state of spiritual height, and feeling practically invincible, to a state of unbelievable vulnerability -- literally one day after the next.

How and why does this happen? Is it simply that my brain is used to his periodic stimulations, and when he doesn't get his fix he goes bonkers?!

Why does it happen every single time without fail? And why so suddenly?

Day 12 of many, many more, be"H:

I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm kinda white-knuckling my way through this rough period. Hopefully it'll pass before my knuckles break...

When you dont have anything else use your knuckles

Day 13 of many, many more, be"H:

Today feels like a good day. Started strong. I'm starting to see my way out of this grey, foggy labyrinth... B"H!

Reading other people's posts, and chiming in with advice and sympathy is doing wonders for me today (on other days it can cause me to weaken, depending on what I read).

What also keeps me driving is the thought that every time I supress an urge, Hashem is smiling, kv'yachol, and saying "KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!"

I'm also smiling...



See?

KOT!

EBD

Can I please join the smiling crew?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Did you count how many smileys there are?

remember my dear friend that in this fight, we have so so so so so much siyata dishmya, the only thing is that a lot of it is up in shamayim with hashem and we only get it if we want it. thats why we cant forget that hashem has us on his shoulder and we say, daddy i nneed more siyata dishmaya otherwise ill fall off your shoulder, and when he hears this, he gives it to us!
anyways, this was a very unorganized thought ;D

Boy, am I taking some serious uppercuts from the YH, right now. He's battering and bruising me silly. He's been at it for the last couple of hours.
But I ain't throwin' in the towel just yet; I'll make him earn it!