JIP
You are completely correct. I know that if I am good for the next few weeks and I do not see a good result as clearly as I see the potch when I am bad I can easily crash and burn. It has happened before. Hopefully I will not be tested and if I am hopefully I will be strong enough (and being here helps) to withstand the nisayon.

 

29

good afternoon reb trying/hanging/moving,

29 is a toughie, might have to break it down to 28 for koach and 1 for alef, meaning the alufo shel olam, the RBS"O

regardless, if you are good today that is what counts, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not around yet. thank the RBS"O for today, it is a gift, that is why it is called the 'present'.

all the best
zs

29 is easy!

29 = Kaf Tes

Kaf Tes is roshei teivos  Keep Trucking!

;D good one

HONESTY ALERT!!!

Dr. Midos wants me to admit that it wasn't sooo easy.

It took a few minutes.

Hey trying-hard,

Just wanted to introduce myself. I don't post too often on other people's threads because I feel like I am so far down, that I don't hold a candle to the kadosh yiddin on this site - you included. However, in reading your posts, I realized that I do have one thing to offer you: a reminder that you ARE NOT alone. We are all in this together. Your 29 days (or more?) bring me up and I fall (at least emotionally) when you fall. Really, we are all doing this together.
If you've seen my thread, you'll know how much I've fallen and that today is a new day 1! I hope to climb the ladder with you, getting chizuk from your story and I hope to never fall again - because I know that everyone else falls with me.

Lastly, you can really feel safe here talking about your struggles. I know that some people are worried about being too graphic for fear that they will be nichshal others. It is a valid concern. But please feel safe discussing your struggles, even without the graphics. You will be comforted by how many of us have been there and understand what you are going through - no matter how terrible it is.

Much hatzlacha - to both of us.

hey dovek,
i am impressed that you reach out and help another yid even if you are having a rough time. more power to you.
chazak chazak venischazek
zs

I am not quite sure how to officially differentiate between a slip and a fall.  I am nowhere near "crash-and-burn", I know what that is.
So I need a psak from the Gedolim in here. 

I dipped my toe in where I should not have but did not go in any further, when i saw i could control myself like that i tried again with the same results.  Then I realized it was my old friend trying to sneak up on me so I left and have not gone back.

so

it is either day 36 

or day 1  :-[

Someone please help.

Based on my belief that  Hashem sends me messages when I am bad, I am still OK because I got great news today B"H, but that could be the YH tricking me into believing that i did nothing wrong even though I know i stumbled but I feel like I caught myself before I actually fell.

sorry for rambling, it is the guilt

i'm no gadol and therefore no psak-giver, but the most important thing is what you do now.

did you fall or slip? possibly, and the guilt should be something of an indication.

you realize that it was the YH trying to sneak in. so use this as an opportunity to grow. be aware of how it started and try to make some type of system of how to avoid them in the future.

keep up your good work!

trying-hard wrote on 09 Nov 2010 18:59:


OK, I'll help you (but you'll be sorry)...

To H#&& with the day count! If you want to whatever you can do today so that you might actually be clean tomorrow...and maybe even for the rest of your life, then forget about the days completely and consider asking your shayloh a bit differently:

Instead of saying: "I dipped my toe in..."etc. Consider doing something completely new and different and and get exact and specific with somebody safe about what you wanted to do, and what you did. There is a time for not being tzniyus - when we have the opportunity to set shame aside and get honest. Halevai we should be concerned with tzniyus when ready to use our drug, instead :o! (Well, that ain't happening for me any time soon! :)

Honesty with myself begins one way and one way only: with my honesty to others.

Doing basically what I was doing before will give me: basically the same results I had before.

Hatzlocha!

1

reb trying hard,
your honesty and staying in the fight are impressive!
much hatzlocha
zs

trying-hard wrote on 10 Nov 2010 15:18:


wow!!!!!!!!!!

gevaldiggggggggg


u shud be able to do 36 days now

no sweat

kot

listen to dov

they don't quote him here every day for nothing

b

Still on track B"H. It is truly amazing. Although I have fallen thanks to this wonderful place my fall was not as far and getting up was easier because I did not fall as far.

I also have come to the realization that just staying clean makes everything easier. I never realized how much my web activities during the day affected me when I was laying in bed at night.
Since I have made this effort to get clean my entire life is different. Even when I slipped I was able to be in control of my YH afterwards. 


I can not thank the oilam here enough for giving me the vehicle that enables me to be a better person.