HS,
we're all on a slow curve going up - but it has lots of dips and chinks along the way. You fell, but you're still higher than you were a month ago, a year ago. Maybe even a week ago. Even though you don't feel it. Every effort counts here. See Dov's email yesterday:
"See Rav Matisyohu Salomon, With Hearts Full of Faith (Mesorah, 2002) regarding Balei Teshuvah who are unable to instantly give up bad habits, where he distinguishes between "compromise, which is absolutely forbidden, and gradualism, which is acceptable and unavoidable." pp. 264-266.
We're into gradualism here, and we may not have much choice in the matter. The falls are part of the process. Work hard, but please - take it easy!!!
Chazak V'ematz
Aaron