I'll try to keep my story short! My story starts, i guess, many years ago as a young kid, when lust became a issue and i followed the slippery path down that many others have taken including Lust,p.,m. and other addictive behaviors. That was all till over a year ago, when i found gye on my web browser on my cellphone (that's where i had internet access from). At the beginning i read some of the stuff there and decided that i just could not make it. But last summer vacation in my desperation i finally became a member of gye. I used to read every chizuk email through and through. By sukkos i had already reached almost sixty. But being back home brought back the old feelings and i began to to feel down. I fell worse than ever before, i began to m. too often etc.. When i returned to israel, i tried my luck twice, but kept on falling. I eventually began to give up on this idea, and decided to just do a day at a time, but with open internet on my phone, i was always very vulnerable to the y"h. I tried going to therapy, but i didn't enjoy that too much, i hate psychology. It reached a point that i realized that i'd gotta get rid of internet access, so i asked a friend to keep my phone for me. Letting go of my smart phone was not easy it was terribly difficult, but retrospectively that was the best move, and the first stage of my recovery. When i left gye a tzaddik from gye called silentbattle kept contact by phone. He was really wonderful and kept encouraging me. But i could just not part from my friend called 'lust'. I began to be for hours on a israeli chatroom and listen and do everything other than p. on the net I was just still badly addicted. For a period i lost contact with silentbattle. But in iyar i started contacting him again by phone. He convinced me to try and stop the other stuff i'd been doing, and i've been clean ever since, but from mast. I could just not stop. I fell after fifteen days. By tammuz, i got a jerk, i'd been in shidduchim for over half a year and nothing doing... Post
