Now that's one thing i'm finding hard this elul! Just to note, i.ll only be on gye another two more days, so that's as much that i can get from you guys. The part years i was just trying to get out of the mud i'd fall in during summer vacation. I've been recovering for many months now, step by step, first from p. Then from any triggering stuff and now from m. Now i'm holding by sixty six days b"h and hope to reach ninety days be"h on the second day of r"h! Since i'm beginning to taste a lust-free life and the feeling that there's no need to 'let it out' every time, i just feel like i'm on top of the world. Charatah, i did, vidui, i do every day, azivas hacheit i'm doing, and adding yiraas shamayim not to sin again, i'm trying to do that too! It's like i wanna forget the feelings, thoughts and sins from the past and enjoy the new future of a lust-free life. Any ideas?? Loi-m