kosher eyes
follow noorah up the ladder you will do good
b

I am afraid I slipped today - after 34 clean days 

I can't believe I have let you all down. I just couldn't stop after my YH took over me.

I had a lot of Chizuk the other week when I learnt that 22 Tamuz was the date of the site's creation - it is also my father Yahrzeit, and I took a lot of inspiration from that. If it wasn't for my late father, I may not have become frum.

Now I feel like I have let him down as well.

I really want to get to 90 days - all that time seems so difficult to make up.

I got around the filter, so will add some more URLs to the blocking list to stop this happening again.

Dearest Kosher Eyes,

You haven't let anyone down! 34 days is amazing. Think of how many times during those 34 days you said "no" to the Yetzer Hara! Remember, just because you slipped, that doesn't erase your clean days!

The only way to let us down, and yourself, is if you give up. A true fighter picks himself up after falling and tries again (think boxing). Chazal writes that a tzadik falls and rises at least 7 times, right?

If you see where you slipped and learn from it to help you from slipping in the future (as you indicated in your last post), you are using the fall as a means to kedusha. I think that's the meaning of the Chazal that if we do Teshuva meAhava, our sins turn into merits, because our sins led us to do merits!

Keep up the good work, and keep writing!

Your friend,
Momo

Hello everyone,

Well, B'H since my last slip I have managed to stay clean - my current streak is 27 days.

I went away with my wife for a couple of weeks, and I felt so great being away from computers and away from the internet. It really took away most temptation from me. Being relaxed also helped, along with having something to do evey day.

During Elul I want to make a strong resolve to maintain my clean streak and try to guard my eyes, especially when travelling to and from work.

My wife has told me the reason I find it hard to stay away from temptation is because it has become my way to 'relax' - can anyone suggest methods of relaxation that work for you that I might be able to adopt when I become tense?

I am so glad that so far I have not slipped again but I found it difficult yesterday when we went out for the day and there were so many non tzniusly dressed women in the hot weather. I have to try to keep my mind off of these thoughts and focus on this month of Elul.

Many thanks for eveyone's support - may we pray for our continued success and to bring help to all those who seek it!

Wow - 27 days is amazing! Sometimes, when I have the time and feel very tense, a good, fast, killer-run is all I need. The milder version in the form of jogging or anything like that will surely help as well. 

You might find some good ideas in Chizuk e-mail #478 on this page, and in the links there...

From what you write, it seems that your wife is supportive of you in facing this struggle. Your lucky for that! What she says about your battle being as difficult as it is, because it has become your outlet of relaxation is very right. The release that a person gets from the fall is very much related to the numbing and relaxing effect that is produced by some of the hardest drugs. In overcoming this addiction, trading this outlet for a healthy outlet by which to release your tension is key. For one method, have you tried exercise?

You're progress is fascinating! What a way to greet the month of Elul!

Keep us updated more often; we want to be able to share in your joy. 

2B

Thank you so much everyone for all your Chizuk and help.

B'H, I have just reached 50 days. I am so glad that I haven't had a slip. Things got 'tempting' the other day, and I keep getting impropper thoughts, which is a warning sign for me. I hope I can be strong enough to ignore them. I think that now I have achieved 50 days without slipping, I need to start focussing on gaurding my eyes more. What I mean is even when walking around at lunch time near my office, travelling on the tube and going out for the day, I need to avoid 'second looks'. This I sometimes find challending, but I know deep down that if I don't avoid this, then it my lead me on to worse, c'v.

With Selichos this week, I am completely exhausted!!! This is a great thing because I am so busy preparing for Yom Tov, and I am too busy to even contemplate slipping.

I really hope everyone on this site gives themselves a big pat on the back as we approach Rosh Hashanah, because just being part of this community is an extremely holy thing. Everyone should be proud of what they have achieved, even if there have also been slips, and resolve to do better next year. Hashem want us to succeed! May Hashem help us to do teshuvah and wipe away our sins, strengthening us!

Wishing eveyone a spiritual and successful new year, filled with kedushah, Torah and brocho!

GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

ONLY FLAKES PAT THEMSELVES ON THE BACK 

i dont pat myself on the back - im afraid ill break my spine.

RATM,

I was sure you were going to say that you don't do it because your not a flake.

But if its because your "Afraid!?" now that's Flaky!

ok, droogs, many of you have wondered whether i am warming up to you flakes; maybe da maybe nyet, or so you think...allow me to be clear:
RATM has no tolerance for flakism. Any person calling for an act of flakiness in the name of RATM is hereby promptly excommunicated.  It is the civic duty of every GYE member to unconditionally condemn any act of flaketry perpetrated in the name of RATM. Any statement or post that has ties to flakists in any way, shape, or form, is hereby  universally condemned by RATM in the strongest terms.

Please feel free to call me ignorant, but what is flakism?!! It doesn't sound like something I normally associate with so sorry for sounding flaky!!

OR ELSE THE WAFFLE SHAPE OF THE DR MARTENS WILL BE SMOOOSHED IN YOUR FACE

Flakism has been defined in the past as the calculated use of yiddish words in an english sentence, crying to tatte (or the threat of crying to tatte) or writing 3 page poems about your feelings in order to attain goals that are related to the defeat of this addiction. The term, of course, is more fluid than that and goes on to include any visual appearance of softness or mushiness; incorrectly compared in the past to mashed potatoes; more acurately associated with rotting fruit. Am I clear?