dear my fellow precious yidden,

i have decised to begin a new thread with the new start i have decided to take up myself, in 30 days i go to yeshiva and i remain filthy inside, i need serious help, i had a 30 day run, my best ever and feel last week, since ive fallen twice more and feel i need some drastic change, so ive come home.....

please hold my hand and pull me up, bck to the derech of strong and focused recover, im feeling better already by writing this

your friend jamie

day 0

Hey Jamie. First of all, 30 days is great. And coming back to post more often is also a great idea . I also leave for yeshivah in a month and i am certainly looking to put together a solid streak heading into my year in israel (and Rosh Hashanah + Yom Kippur) so we're in the same boat. One thing that worked for me in the past was chatting with people (i think we chatted once or twice) but having Chazak Amenu as a partner and friend in this was really helpful before. If you want to chat ever, just let me know!

Keep on fightin'! the results will come!

Yasher Koach!

I do however take exception to the description of "filthy".  You and I both have holy and pure souls that are a part of and akin to GOD Himself.  We say this every morning in the bracha of "Elokai Neshoma.....tehora hi".  Yes, we have done many low things but we are not filthy. 

I never heard of anyone recover from lust by telling themselves they are filthy.  I find focusing on specifically that brocha in the morning to be very uplifting and give me a good perspective on the day.

Hatzlacha

I can tell you from my own experience that feeling bad about yourself because you fell will only lead to more falling. You need to believe in yourself and be happy, even if that seems like something impossible at the moment. I actually once heard a tape from Rabbi Jonathan Rietti about this and I think he was quoting Rav Nachman who said that when we give in to our yetzer hara in this regard, you need to be happy. Meaning you can't let it get you down. Obviously, you don't have to be happy about falling but you need to find anything to make you happy because focusing on your falling will make it worse. Like jooboy said you're not filthy. Everyone needs some help. If there is one thing I've learned from this site it is that we're all normal, and we just have this avodah to do, but Hashem gave it to us because we CAN accomplish it. He wouldn't give us something we couldn't do. Honestly, I am new to the site, but I've been so inspired by it. If you need anything you can email me at cantdoitmyself@gmail.com. I check my email a few times a day so feel free.

Jamie,

We're here, we're holding your hand. 30 days is huge.
you clearly have worked on this, so continue and don't let a fall
or even a week of falls get in your way.
Like the others said, you are no way filthy on the inside.
Maybe look again and try to figure out what you are seeing that's filthy.
Because it ain't you!

bhatzlacha

King James
How about some pimms?

Keep on lorrieng!!

Bards

i have decised to begin a new thread with the new start  Wonderful, Mazal Tov! Cheers! Harray! You tickle me pink!

, i need serious help,  maybe

i had a 30 day run, my best ever and feel last week, since ive fallen twice more

Holly bother, I ask two qestions not four. 1. What did you learn about yourself and this struggle while you where clean? In what areas did you grow while clean?

2. More importantly- what did you learn from your falls? what where the thing the precipated your falling, what lessons are there to learned about yourself, your streghths and you weaknesses. What action can you take for next time?

I CANNOT THANK EVERYONE ENOUGH FOR THERE CHIUK POSTS...

over the last 9 days (im on day nine) ive been feeding off of insporation... now its gettng real, so im back.

hounestly thanks for the warm welcome back and true words.

hy- tis fall taught me to use this sight more, and my amazing partner who we chat about once a week...notgivingupyetoldbean!

bard - i missed you man!! glad to be back...im more on the laphroig at the moment...

sturggle - so gld you wrote on my thread really helped

cantdoitmyself...welcome to the family, your amazing and btw i LOVE rabbi rietti, a true british representative!

jooboy - thanks for the new kavana in dvaening

shlomo - your right, ill talk to my partner more and maybe when we reach 90 in eretz yisroel well go out for a schwarma!

so day nine, only hoime alone tilll sunday, then camp for a week, a day at home, thegoing to my flat in israel for a week (will be hard, lots of girls not wearning much by the pool) and then opposite the kotle in yeshiva for a year or 2 or 3 or ....

so its just the next few days guys... ill keep on lorrying ad trying to write, thanks for the beautiful welcome home!

happy to hear that my writing on your thread helped.
good to see that you're still writing here as well.
and i really enjoy laphroig as well. good choice!