I had all the intention in the world of getting on the board and starting my quest by Shabbos but I messed up again. Now I am faced with getting 3 days clean to get started. I am determined to do it and get to 30 days and build on that but I just cannot seem to get started. I have an added problem this week and that is my wife is away. Sometimes I am really good at controlling myself but the problem is when my yetzer tells me that this is my opportunity to "go all out" because I have some "freedom" and if I don't live it up I will regret it later!!
Any words of advise?

Poshut Yid

Hey,

I had a real nisayon and opportunity to mess things up last week and I can generally say that I had weird "coincidences" since I started working on this issue (29 days). All I can say is that if you have the opportunity and if you overcome it, you'll feel much stronger. You will make a kal vachomer (if I gave it up when I had all the opportunities, I will definitely give it up when it is more difficult to act out). Now I'm not saying that it is good to face such a nisayon (we daven not to have them) and I have a filter on my computer for that reason but try to make the best out of it. Trust me, you will feel great if you overcome it!

PY,

Firstly, you do not have to wait for 3 days clean to register for the 90 day program, only to feature on the wall, so don't delay, sign up now.

Secondly, I know that times when your wife is away are the toughest, and most tempting to act out at these times - 'when opportunity knocks'.

You must realise that at the times when the challenge is greatest are the times when we have the greatest potential for growth and change. Please take this the right way, but try to motivate yourself to be a mensch for yourself first and foremost. For this to work, really work, you need to want to change and want to be clean. You have to WANT it so bad it hurts. Your wife deserves you to respect her enough not to use her absence as an excuse. Imagine the scene in Shomayim after 120 when she watches ''the tape" and you try to explain how you used this time whilst she was not with you.

I'm sorry PY, I know I'm sounding harsh, but sometimes, especially at the beginning it is harsh truths we need to hear. Don't beat yourself up about it. You are here - that's a big step already. I would say to you reach out to all of us. Use GYE lots, read lots and post lots, although I see you are no longer a Newbie, so you must know how this site works. I would advise you to spend less time procrastinating and just start living. Go slow, one day at a time and you will see that they build up, a step at a time. Before you know it, you will have the 3 days you are looking for and more......

Share your thoughts and your experiences with all of us and you will find a lot of friendship, warmth and yes, some harsh truths as well. Do not get down about it, join us and start turning your life around from right now.

If you want to chat off-forum - PM me and I'll be happy to chat through some of this stuff with you.

Kol Tuv,

Haleivi 

Well, ask yourself a question - say you're sitting there, and you're tempted to go online, and fall. But you stand up, say "I'm not going to even deal with you!" and go for a walk, or a jog, or play an instrument, or read a good book, or...well, pretty much anything that gets you out of the area, out of that mindset.

Now, 2 hours pass, and you look back. Do you feel regretful, or proud of yourself?

Hiya Poshut,

Wanna let you know they'll be a new Duvid Chaim Cruise ship starting soon, Monday, July 26. They'll be 2 time options, 8:30am-9:30am and again 12 noon-1:00pm. See my Journal in WOH for more info (yesterday). Maybe one of those times would work for you, if you're game.

Be well,

Steve

Thank you Steve.
I appreciate the heads up. i started on the cruise last time round and went for about 6 weeks before giving up. Somewhere around the time we had become accountable to urselves and our past.

I am going to try again.
Shkoach!!

poshut yid wrote on 12 Jul 2010 15:42:


Don't you really mean "if I DO live it up, I will regret it latter