good luck, but it doesn't really work that way, sir. It really is one day at a time till you leave this planet, my friend. Let Him take care of you instead of trying to run things and 'be fixed' so that things will go just the way you want them to. Your good intentions are not necessarily what is Hashem's Will for you all the time, obviously. Just live today with Him and do not worry about your spiritual future at all. Maybe focus on parnosah and your learning and stuff like that - never on your madreigah or teshuvah at all, ever.

My 'likutei eitzos', take it or leave it.

Yup one day at a time.
Tonight was tough, but deep down I told myself I don't want it, it only messes my life up and Hashem helped me tonight!

Why do I have to do this... I don't want to do it anymore. This addiction is draining me, how do I stop??????
Boruch Hashem Shabbos is coming and I get a break... why can't it be Shabbos everyday in my mind and not do this nonsense.
Please Hashem help me and all the people who keep trying and trying to become closer to you, but just feel so far away.

Dear Oneday,

I have posted about this before. But now you said it yourself.

If you are serious about what you wrote and wasn't just varfing melitzos, then I know that there is hope:

oneday wrote on 29 Apr 2011 22:47:


If you really believe that you have to do this, then there is always the 12 steps waiting for you. If you still believe that you can fight and beat it if you would only try hard enough, then that is always waiting for you. And you may have the willpower, seichel, kedusha, call it what you like.

I am not saying you are addicted and are in fact powerless. I could not ever decide that for you or anybody. But if you determine that you have lost and that you are a chronic loser to lust and do not have what it takes to win, then I have a derech for you that you can climb.

But as far as I can yell, it only works for those who know they are beaten and are not just waiting for the day that they "finally have the power" on their own. If you are truly ready to accept that G-d does for you what you cannot do for yourself (no matter what you think the sforim or your rov or anybody else says you should think), then I believe it can work.

If you keep talking of "Phew! Made it through today!", yet never really giving up the fight to Hashem and agreeing never to intentionally pick the contest up again, it will be just more bubkess and more nonsense like whining for kedusha.

Hatzlocha.

Dov, today I think everything fell into place.
I woke up this morning and asked Hashem to help me TODAY in my battle. Tonight wasn't a very happy night (but I didn't even get mad) and  use to go to lust, but Hakadosh Boruch Hu saved me, kept me happy and I was busy doing other stuff.
I don't know why, but I feel complete today. I didn't start thinking I can control if I only do this. I let Hashem battle for me today, and Hashem won for me!

That's awesome!! Hodu laShem ki Tov, ki l'Olam Chasdo! Good night. Tomorrow is day one again, and it is worth it just for itself, too. Do not count any days or I will break both your legs. Thank you.

Love,

Dov

It must be hard to count sfirah

Today is day 1.. oh no i mean day 16 ..

Funny, I wonder if there is some OCD-ish frum sex addicts somewhere who counts his clean time that way:

"Yesterday I was sober for a week and two days, that was...ummmm....nine days of sobriety. Yippeee!"

Silly, but cute.

Boy, do I miss bards at times like this.  :'(

I got my night vision, pistol and map and i am going out to look for Bards out in the hills. Hopefully we will have him back before Yesod Sh'beyesod so he can give us some uplifting press conference.

Will you guys get out here and come help the search team?

just get a bloodhound and let him sniff some Woodford...

Who, the bloodhound, or bards?

Let's call the Navy Seals to finds bards! 
Not gonna lie, today was tough. Sunday is always a day where I have a lot of free time on my hands and the y'h comes out in full force.
Tomorrow I am going to b'eh wake up smell the coffee and forget about everything except letting Hashem win the battle for me for monday and nothing else!

Tomorrow tomorrow I love you tomorrow... How about now... five minutes- NOW?

How is Monday going my friend?

They caught bards! He was in a mansion and was using an ice cream man as a human shield...but they got him in the kishkas with a half a bowl of p'cha. He sat down and ate the other half and that's when they caught him.

I am desolate....

Last night I wasn't home, so I was clean. Yes, it felt good, but there wasn't really a test!
Tonight wasn't very good. I thought I had my night figured out so I wouldn't fall, but I was a little over my head and didn't just let go and ask Hashem when I needed the help.
Ready to continue and my current focus is right now, this second, which I am clean.