desperate_teddybear wrote on 03 Dec 2010 06:33:
Got any more rooom in that boat of yours, oneday? Wouldnt mind some smooth sailing myself...how does thinking of chanukah push u not to fall? Elaborate? (i need inspiration right now bro
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Of course there is more room!
This video really sums it up.
www.aish.com/v/ho/78962817.html (If you don't want to watch all 8 minutes 5-6 is pretty good)
The Chashmonayim stood up and learned Torah and risked their life doing so! If they could have the guts to risk their life, why can't I have the guts and be clean that one night! I would then and go and just stare into the lights from the Chanukiyahs.
You got this. Hashem wouldn't give this to you if you couldn't beat it!
This also has helped me greatly. I think I got this from jewishsexuality.com, but I don't remember for sure. I find this very powerful and it gives me that extra push when needed most! May Hashem (the one who will help you get out of this mess) help you!
There is a reason why you personally, more then many of your friends have such difficult tests to overcome and constantly face. You are not the normal run of the mill person. Hashem has a lot of good things in store for you. The Zohar explains that before salvation and good tidings, a person might experience some hardship. It might seem impossible to handle what surrounds you on all side but you must always remember the powerful words of the Baal Shem Tov’s father, “Hashem is always with you”. Abraham was a very important man with a bright future and therefore he faced before him tasks so difficult in which few could pass. Issac, Jacob, Moses, David, Job and so many other great people where stuck in situations in which there was little light to see their way out. Hashem will always be there in that light and so will complete salvation. What makes things even more difficult is that sometimes one might see two lights instead of just the one. This second light sometimes glows with gold dust and only ends up being a pit. This path is the easy way out as it heads right towards the gold color but when you pick it up, you realize it was all for nothing and fake. Once we get used to running after gold dust its sometimes very difficult to stop ourselves. Our Sages have said, one mitzvah leads to a second mitzvah and one avayra, sin leads to a second one. Once you fall into sin it becomes easier and easier to fall into it again. Your mind becomes completely programmed to fall into the same trap over and over again. The only way out is to reprogram your mind. Next time, instead of reaching for the gold dust in the most trying, lownly and depressed strait you are in, reach for the jewels! Hashem and the Torah are there for you. You must cling to them with whatever little strength you have left. When Hashem starts lifting you up don’t let go like you are so accustomed of doing. Reprogram yourself to hold on tight to your faith, as you know you need to. Salvation is in Hashem and know one else. Know this in your heart and act upon it. Maybe you are feeling singled out by Hashem to go through such trying situations and the real truth is that you have been singled out. You have been chosen and I don’t just mean to be a Jew with 613 mitzvos. There is something very unique about you personally. Inside you, is a heart of gold and a wanting to do such good things for the world. Your soul is something extra holy and you have so much to give. Therefore, you have been singled out by the Satan more then others. If you want to win, search yourself for your good points. Make a list of these things in your mind or on paper. Don’t give up and don’t ever despair. When faced with the two lights next time, take the more practical one. The one that will shine brightly for eternity. There is where you will find your deceased relatives and everything good. Go for the permanent fix rather then the imaginary temporary one. So what if you can’t? You just don’t have the strength. Then run! Escape in any way you know how to avoid the sin. The best place to run is in the Torah. If you can’t get yourself to learn then leave the room and maybe take a walk outside. It was decreed that you face this situation at this exact moment in this particular place but if you leave it for a few minutes the urge to sin might completely pass. Do the best you can; you have a lot more strength still left inside you then you might think. Look at all the good things you do to serve Hashem and to help others with your time and money.