Well today I took a step back. Though I might have placed what I need to truly win! I now have blocked the search engine which has allowed me to find ways through the filter. Now thats blocked and my car is fixed and now it is time to keep trucking and continue my journey!

Had a successful day today! Never really had the urge to fall! Hashem made it easy for me to get through today!

beautiful! keep up the good work

Another clean day!
Unlike yesterday where I virtually didn't have any desire to fall, today I did. When this thought came, I looked away from everything and thought for a second. Yesterday, Hashem made it easy for me just so I can get back on the right path. Today, Hashem is ready to start testing me again so I can make tikkunim and show how I have changed as a person. I also thought that it isn't my job to win, but to realize I am starting to slip and ask Hashem to do the rest which he did! Also the one day thing came in about focusing on today only.
I'm finally putting everything together!

Well done on those victories.

Can I suggest something?
When you sit infront of the computer, ask yourself "If I wasn't addicted to lust, what would I be doing, how would I behave right now".
Maybe think of someone that you believe does not have lust issues and ask yourself "If I was Chuck Norris, what would I be doing right now".

This may help change the mental image your brain is preparing for you and change it to a stronger, more positive one.

Please let me know how it goes.

ToAdd

ToAdd wrote on 13 Oct 2010 09:57:

Not sure if I am exactly getting at what you're trying to say, but here is what I think.  I have thought many times about what my life is now and what it could be. I realize once I become clean my life becomes clean and I can begin to enjoy it more and more!

Today I fell once, but I picked myself right back up!
I believe the reason I fell today was because I let one of my fences down, by not following my time limit if alone.
After I fell I felt down, but quickly (5 minutes) I picked myself up and I'm ready to go again!
I realized how far I have come and these falls are becoming more spaced out and I am really 'winning' this battle. This was just a little pothole on my journey. No worries!

Hi,

What I am trying to say is that our mental image of ourselves is very powerful.
We can change the way we behave if we change our mental image of our self.
Lust’s biggest battlefield is our imagination – let’s conquer that territory from him.

If I constantly look at myself as someone who battles with lust, then I will be someone that constantly battles with lust.
If I look at myself as someone who does not lust, and have an image in my mind of how such a person behaves, then I can act and be like that person.

You’re probably too young to drive, but perhaps you ride a bicycle? If you are trying to avoid an obstacle, the worst thing you can do is focus on that obstacle – you will hit it. Rather, focus on a path around the obstacle and your mind will automatically steer your body and the bike in that direction.

So basically, trying to fight the wrong behaviour creates an image in our mind of that behaviour and we tend to follow that path.
If we picture who we want to be, we have a positive image we can follow. That way, we don’t actually fight the y”h, we just avoid him all together.

Lust isn’t a problem we can solve, it’s something that we should avoid buy doing something else, but we need something else to do.
At every minute of every day, we decide how we behave. We are always doing something.
Lust makes very strong images in our imagination and we follow those images. If we can replace those images with something better, then we will behave in a better way.

What I’m proposing is that we take control of our life. Who is in control of this body / bicycle / car / truck? Me or my yetzer hora?
Where am I going? Do I have a map, do I have an image of who I want to be at the end of this journey I call “today”?
The yetzer hora has a plan, he has an image, fresh in memory of what he wants – It’s a picture of me, lying in bed, regretting what I just did, and a whole map of how to get there.

Right now, I am imagining myself lying in bed tonight, happy that I won. There is no lust addict in that picture, it’s the perfect me.
Every web site I open, I am going to ask myself: “Is this the path to the perfect me, or is this the path to regret? – If I were a tzadik, would I visit this site?”
I don’t actually have to be perfect or a tzadik, but if I visualise how such a person behaves, then I can copy that behaviour and follow in his footsteps.

I hope this clarifies what I was getting at.

ToAdd

Sweet!

It definitely did help that post! Thanks for the time explaining further! I hope to use this strategy and the more strategies I use the easier it should be! 
Today I fell twice by the same thing which I fell by yesterday also. I'm going to block it on k9 when I get the password and hopefully this will be the last post of saying a loss! Then again, my focus is now at the current moment which I am clean and I have to be happy that I am not depressed and ready to continue on with my life as a 'normal' person and forget about this whole situation that I am in.

I fell. I thought I had a site blocked, but apparently not. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day and a perfect day to start!

Hi,

I've pulled a few statements from some of your latest posts:







And the following post:







And the following post:






There's a pattern there:
Rely on filter to block sites for you = fall
Facebook = fall
Stay away from computer = clean
Keep busy = clean.

In this world, effort = reward.

I hope I got this right: poseach es yadecha umasbiah l chol chai ratzon.
Possibly the most important line in all of psalms. It means that Hashem helps you fulfill your will.
If it's your will to fall, he will help you, If it's your will to stay clean, he will help you.

Repeating an action makes it part of your will. Thats why we have a chart.
The more times YOU say no to doing the wrong thing, the more it becomes part of your will, the more Hashem helps you.
I think you need to go cold turkey for a couple of days. Stay 100% away from the internet until the urge has subsided. I know it's not easy, but reward comes with effort.

The Ramchal said that to uproot a negative trait, a person must avoid that behaviour entirely for a period of time.

Do you really want to quit?

Wow thanks for pulling that together!
Today I was busy and yup I was clean!
Tomorrow I should have even less time, so things are looking good again!
Plus in a month or so, I will be in Israel for about two weeks so that will be nice!

I was really busy again today and stayed clean again!

Been a rough day (fell twice)... I need to keep myself busy!
Have a good Shabbos!